I go to a large public university. It’s my 3rd year. I spent my sophomore year abroad in an external program so the friends I met there are scattered across the country. Honestly we didn’t keep in touch much after the program. My college is about 20 minutes from my hometown so I already knew some people that went here and freshman year spent a ton of time with two girls I went to high school with. In college, I’ve met a lot of acquaintances. They’re people whose phone numbers I have, that I know, that I may catch lunch with if I run into them in the dining hall but they also don’t text me to make plans (and I don’t text them). It seems like I see a lot of people that made tons of friends in college and I’m just not one of them. Like one of my roommates regularly has a bunch of friends over and they’re very close and she has parties where she invites 50 people. If I had a party, I wouldn’t be able to invite nearly that many. Now the obvious suggestion is to make friends with her friends. I hung out with them a few times but it wasn’t very fun for me. Our personalities/interests don’t align. I do have about 2 best friends but our schedules are busy so we don’t see each other as much as I’d like. I have 3 more best friends from my hometown. I know that there are plenty of 20-year-olds that can’t say they have 5 friends (and each one has been my friend for as little as 4 and as much as 16 years). I know that there are commuters on campus that don’t have many friends. I’m doing well in school. I’m actually happy at school and I love the friends that I have. I guess I’m just looking for reassurance or feedback that it’s normal not to have so many friends. My personality is very, very extroverted. I don’t like spending too much time alone. I’d describe myself as typical girl next door type. In high school, I had all kinds of friends, I was in all kinds of activities, I did all the typical things like parties and football games and dances. So now I feel atypical, I feel weird just because I feel like I’m SUPPOSED to have more friends and when I’m looking for something to do and all my friends are busy, I get upset and feel lonely. And I knew if I wasn’t relying on just like 3 people on campus to be free, I wouldn’t have that problem.
First of all, please use paragraphs. It is very difficult to read and decipher a big square of print.
Secondly, as long as you don’t have a problem with it, then it shouldn’t be a problem. If you’re okay with it, then problem solved.
My dd also went to a large university. At first, she didn’t have many friends, but by junior and senior year, she had tons of friends. Some friends liked outdoor activities; some were very “intellectual” types; some were study friends. She lived with 6 other girls. She would pick and choose what she wanted to do and whom she wanted to do that with. Sometimes, she just wanted to be by herself.
There are no hard and fast rules.
Do you, not some belief about what you are supposed to be, how many friends you are supposed to have, whether your life looks like the picture you have in your mind. Having a few friends is just fine. Maybe that’s all you need. If you can let go of the “supposed to” and enjoy what is, you will find yourself much happier. Keep doing well and enjoying your school, that’s the primary reason you are there.
What matters is the quality of your friendships not the quantity.