<p>Agree, ucb. I would love to help this OP with suggestions, but she has been so vague on her stats and goals that I don’t think I can unless she offers more information. </p>
<p>Maybe I missed it but have the parents said they will definitely not pay for any school but MSU or is this being said “tongue in cheek”? (post 11) Suggesting you go to MSU is quite different than being adamant that they will not pay for any other school. Which is it? What discussions have you really had about paying for college? Have you asked if they will pay for Michigan at similar cost to MSU? </p>
<p>I really don’t think it’s tongue in cheek, although the tone is that way. They’re very obsessed with me going there. Actually, I’d say they’re convinced I’m going there. They likely can’t fathom why I’d want to look anywhere else. My dad will complain about how many obnoxious people/students are at games lately and how rundown the main street Grand River has looked for 10 years… but still thinks it’s a no-brainer that I go.</p>
<p>My stats don’t matter, it will just muddy up an already completely off topic thread. This was about parents being fixated on sending their kids to their alma mater, that happens to be easy to get into. My target schools are the best in the Midwest: UM, NU, and ND. I’d like to study engineering, perhaps an engineering/business program.</p>
<p>Yes, you keep saying that your parents are obsessed with your going to Michigan State. We get that. But have they actually told you this is the ONLY place they will pay for? The only place you can go?</p>
<p>“I have news for you…the bottom quartile of ANY SCHOOL is going to have many lowish stats students.”</p>
<p>I’m sorry, this is false. We’re not talking about the bottom quartile, I said it’s the bottom 30%. And those bottom 30% numbers are atrocious, are they not? Of course the top 10% or so is accomplished, but 10% doesn’t make a thick student body. You act like I’ll have a bubble around me at State. Those bottom 30% are all over campus, at parties, in the Union, playing intramural, and most importantly, they contribute to the reputation the college has. My dad says everyday that people underestimate him, especially when he’s on the east and west coast and he’s wearing State apparel. Going to a more selective school is a badge of credibly, both socially and professionally. </p>
<p>Dad seriously hates UMich. He thinks all the guys his age that are UMich alums are pompous, even though my dad makes more than them as a business owner. And someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t even think the admissions standards differences even existed back in the day. Seems like most old people in mid Michigan went to MSU and people from Metro Detroit or Grand Rapids went to Michigan. The hate is very real though. I can’t help but detect a public school agenda from some people in this thread. To be clear, I’ll go to UMich, if he let me, I’d just prefer to go out of state and explore something entirely new is all.</p>
<p>“Yes, you keep saying that your parents are obsessed with your going to Michigan State. We get that. But have they actually told you this is the ONLY place they will pay for?”</p>
<p>Pretty much once a week, every week, for my entire life. They’re also fairly presumptuous in that there isn’t even a debate or acknowledgements of other considerations on the table. It’s just understood that I will be continuing this “tradition” of attending a university that’s easy to get into. I think they really like the fact that I would be entering in the top 5% of the class, because it adds to the credibility of the college. Well, I don’t exist to bolster the rep of their alma mater.</p>
<p>“Those bottom 30% are all over campus, at parties , in the Union, playing intramural.” Horrors. You mean they would actually let these dolts mingle with kids like you at State? </p>
<p>If they really don’t want to pay for anything but MSU, have you told them how strongly you feel about not wanting to go there? You feel so negatively about the kids going there, I think it could be hard for you to make friends there , if you feel so much above everyone else.</p>
<p>Can you get full merit scholarship at another school with your stats? My kid got one at a second tier LAC. </p>
<p>Have you told your dad that you don’t want to go to MSU? Sometimes parents can wish something for their kid, but would change their mind if they realized their kid has a different aspiration.</p>
<p>Your parents are most likely obsessed because MSU is a fine place for engineering, the cost is tolerable for what sounds like a full pay family, the degree from MSU has taken them where they wanted to go and they don’t believe spending an extra $100,000+ is worth you going out of state to what amounts to be a similar quality engineering degree… Unless you can honestly say they’d not let you go to UofM, they aren’t necessarily obsessed with MSU as much as they are obsessed with you getting a high quality education at a tolerable price point. You are obsessed with not going to MSU. </p>
<p>Illinois, Michigan and Purdue are in the top 10 ranked undergraduate engineering programs. </p>
<p>Northwestern is in the top 20, but at double the cost - no brainer if you get into UofM, go there.</p>
<p>Notre Dame and MSU are ranked equally and again Notre Dame, if you got in, would be double the cost for essentially the identical experience, both academically and socially.</p>
<p>You need to figure out if your parents are really “obsessed” with MSU or are simply being pragmatic about cost AND you need to find out of they would allow you to go to UofM if you got in. I “get” that your thread is about being obsessed but without knowing their true feeling about UofM most of us are disbelieving of your use of the word “obsessed” and if they perhaps aren’t “more” obsessed about a dollar cost value. The price of UofM and Michigan State is virtually identical for a full pay family.</p>
<p>By the way, the reputation of MSU as the party school if that is what is “bothering you” has quelled significantly in the last decade. If what the student says below is true, as a parent I’d put that in the plus-MSU column.</p>
<p>From the student newspaper:</p>
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<p>I’m calling ■■■■■. Suspected it last night but the increasingly rude tone of the posts has me convinced. </p>
<p>There is no “public school agenda” here. Most of us are parents (hence the “PARENTS’ FORUM”). We come from a wide variety of backgrounds ourselves and in the intervening decades have known and worked with others from equally varied backgrounds. In addition to MSU, UMich is obviously a public, as are Cal and UW and Illinois and many other schools that are particularly known for engineering. Again, if you want us to help, please help us help you. Otherwise, you are just wasting people’s time.</p>
<p>I’ve repeated myself multiple times, they are absolutely obsessed with their alma mater. UMich is cost neutral and they’ve straight up told me I’d have to pay my own way there. Pay my own way means they’d take it out of the trust my grandpa left me. That trust was for things like grad school, or an engagement ring, a large down payment on a house. What’s even more incredible is that my dad would buy me a place to live in East Lansing. So, we’re not just talking about COA of $100k or so, he would literally buy me a $300k house to live in with friends if I wanted. Instead, he’ll make me use my own money for UMich (or if I’m lucky enough to get into NU or ND).</p>
<p>Both parents and students need to keep open minds during the college search process. Have you and your parents taken an official tour at MSU and truly tried to look at the school objectively? If not, I suggest you all do that together this fall as well as researching and visiting your choice schools. It is very important for the student and parents to agree on all the schools where apps are submitted. Remember, an application is not a commitment to attend. It just keeps that option available, nothing more. If you and your parents agree on the list, in the end the decision should be yours as long as it fits within the family’s financial parameters. This really can work if everyone communicates and remains calm and open.</p>
<p>Post 90…convinces me that this is NOT a new poster…and that this thread is trolling for posts.</p>
<p>If the OP is from Michigan, UMich will meet full need for all accepted instate students. If the student doesn’t HAVE financial need, that is going to be the case regardless of where he applies to college. Family will be expected to pony up.</p>
<p>Well OK. If that is the case - go to MSU and they will pay out of their pocket, go somewhere else and it comes out of your trust fund. You have a hard decision to make then about what value YOU put on where you attend for four years and how much you are willing to give up. I’ve seen this happen with a couple friends with children with trust funds. The positive is your family (and you) have the financial resources, but the problem is you are being confronted with a big choice that for most kids gets made because of financial resources. Your choice is the same as kids who have zero resources, your situation is no different, it will be a financial choice. Fortunately you’ve got a half a year or so to make this decision so I would do all the research I could on “outcomes” from colleges, I would make a trip to MSU and concentrate on the engineering school, set up some appointments with professors, attend some classes, meet some engineering students and really clarify in your head if your lack of enthusiasm is really about MSU engineering or more about your parents “deal” and I would apply as you intended and see what the outcomes are with admittances as you will be full pay everywhere you apply. Best of luck with your decision. </p>
<p>On a lighter note, I shared this with my H and tongue in cheek he says get your dad to throw a BMW into the deal. There was a recent article in our MLive newsfeed about all the internationals in East Lansing at MSU buying BMWs much to the delight of the car dealers because they are “cheaper” here than overseas. </p>
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<p>Ahem. I’d say the University of Chicago is the best school in the midwest. 
Although not for engineering.</p>
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<p>That is probably because he’s a grown man wearing college spirit clothing.</p>
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<p>This does’t surprise me in the least. This is the kind of anti-intellectual attitude that I used to see from my in-laws, coupled with a suspicion of anyone who seemed too “fancy” in their interests or tastes. (Although they would approve of U of M.)</p>
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<p>It remains to be seen whether he would really do this. I have my doubts. It sounds to me as if he might be embarrassed to have it be known that he wouldn’t pay for his kid’s college when he can well afford it, especially U of M. That would make him seem like a bit of an ass to almost anyone in Michigan.</p>
<p>Yeah, I think this whole thread is bogus. This Dad is not going to refuse to pay for kid’s college if she doesn’t go to MSU. And if she has to dip into a trust fund, so be it. So what if the trust fund doesn’t get used for a an engagement ring instead of a college education? Big whoop. </p>
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<p>Totally lost credibility with that one. No one who is allegedly so superior intellectually could actually believe that.</p>
<p>Yes, really. The idea that there are no prestigious state schools is genuinely laughable. Of course, we are presumably dealing with a HS student…</p>
<p>You have to give the OP a pass on the public vs. private thing. That is a very “young/naive” attitude. And it’s difficult to believe the deep seated rivalry in Michigan between those two flagship unis, I used to have an office within earshot of the engineering cubicles and it amused me to hear the arguments that would erupt on a regular basis between the engineers (mind you at age 30 and up) whether their education at UofM or Purdue or MSU and even the expats would chime in claiming IIT was better…and they are all sitting there doing the same dang thing for the same dang salary!</p>
<p>“State” school, as in the non flagship eg Cal State, Mississippi State, etc. </p>
<p>Penn “State”, Ohio “State”.</p>