Is it to one's advantage to have an essay that tells a story all the way through?

<p>I think you know where I'm going with this one. Is it detrimental to have an essay that starts out as a story and then is more self-reflective throughout the rest of the piece?</p>

<p>This is just my own opinion, but I'd recommend making the entire thing a story. Stories that have a lot of self-reflective aspects tend to "tell" more than they "show." </p>

<p>By this I mean, "I thought about how far I'd come this year, and felt proud of my accomplishments. I was a much better player at Counter-Strike now" versus "With a smug grin forming on my face, my hand reflexively gripped the mouse and pulled sharply to the right as I clicked, all in under a split second. The powerful kick of the rifle was matched only by the sheer strength of the bullet itself, which spiraled forward within a wispy helix of smoke. Leaping out from the shadows, my opponent had no idea I had already timed his movements. I didn't even have to look at the screen to anticipate what I would soon hear over my speakers... HEAD SHOT."</p>

<p>Obviously I'm not saying you should write something like this, lol. I'm just saying it's better to say the same message by showing than by telling. Self-reflection in essays is okay as long as it's supported by plenty of examples. I think a good story that shows much -- ending with a brief sentence or two hammering the relevant point home in a subtle way -- is a very good way to go.</p>

<p>but is "telling" necessarily looked down upon than showing? i'm saying: is there something that college admissions ppl look down upon if you don't have a story all the way thorugh?</p>

<p>I can't say for sure -- all I know is that the more successful essays tend to show a lot more than they tell. Almost every admissions officer, I think, would agree with this. I've seen it reiterated in all sorts of advice-guides and articles and whatnot. I don't think they "look down" upon telling, but if your entire essay is just all talk and no evidence, then it just won't be that strong. </p>

<p>I think an admissions officer would only look down upon an essay if it was written crappily to the extreme. Awkward sentence structures or misspelled/incorrectly used/overly large words (as some people do to "sound smart") would not settle well with the reader. Also revealing something overly negative about yourself is probably a bad idea too. </p>

<p>I won't name names, but there is a certain CC'er who went about the admissions process all wrong trying to transfer in externally. What he had done was basically bash his current college (which is a very well-respected college!) for not being an intellectually challenging environment and described himself as arrogant for most of his life/etc... I mean stuff like that just won't work. I'd avoid touching overly controversial subjects (talking about your sex life is something adcoms have said is a sure-fire recipe for the worst possible essay rating).</p>

<p>Most of that probably doesn't apply to you, but I'm just saying keep the self-description to a minimum if you can. A good story will do the describing for you and in a much more entertaining/interesting/mature way, and it'll make you stand out. A lot of people are going to be sending in "telling" essays.</p>

<p>write whatever you feel like writing that would describe you and most importantly your personality and view of life best and shows/proves quality/character in you</p>