<p>Even after three years, it has ben worth it for S1. Chicago has challenged him and changed him. It has been every bit as rigorous as advertised, and has provided him with a commanding argument stye, a tremendous breadth of knowledge, an understanding of inquiry across disciplines, and a tremendous self-confidence that surprised even me. It took him off of his somewhat preprofessional career path, and introduced him to the joy of being educated as its own value. I could not have wished for anything more, and would gladly have paid double. If he would have simply gone through the curriculum, amassing credits, some discipline knowledge, and then off to top grad or professional school, I would say it would not have been worth it. One can get that result from far less expensive schools.</p>
<p>S2 is still in HS and will be a senior next year. He is a different person than S1, but I would love him to attend a school that can have a similar effect on him. We will try to find his place, I will pay for it, and will do so gladly, even if some fingers are crossed.</p>
<p>I am eternally grateful that the small selective LAC I attended had deep enough pockets to provide the financial aid for all of its students at that time (mid '70s). I believe I had a superior experience there than I would have at the regional LACs that were my other choices. My world was truly expanded by the experience.</p>
<p>However, times change, and happykid is growing up in a completely different environment than I did. Her world in HS is larger than mine was in college, or even in grad school. She doesn't need what I needed, and her interests are very different from mine. I am extremely grateful for this because if I had a kid like me, I would absolutely not be able to justify the expense of my undergraduate college in this day and age. I would be sending that kid to the honors college of his/her home-state public U.</p>
<p>It is only "worth" it because your are giving something to people you love. Otherwise, it does not really have any return. By sending your kids to an elite school, you do not get a better job or a better standard of living. Actually a lower standard of living for a few years (8 yrs for h and I)!!</p>
<p>Given what I said above, it is also only worth it if your child takes advantage of the opportunities available. D1 is getting great opportunities probably not readily available at other schools, ie her school is a target school for these particular jobs. D2, a first yr., already has taken advantage of some great opportunities. We happily pay (well, not so much), but are willing to pay the high costs because we think it is worth it. </p>
<p>My S is another story. Although he has had incredible experiences at his school, he has not taken advantage of the educational opportunities. My h and I think a cheaper school would have been just as good for him. Probably better because it would have saved us money and he would have had a higher gpa.</p>
<p>I think it is worth it, but how worth it depends on what you can do.....would I spend what I have, yes? Would I take massive loans, no!</p>
<p>DD is having a wonderful time of growth and experience at a small not well known across the country LAC, she has merit and finaid and still had to do CC for 2 years to afford it. And is still hurts.</p>
<p>They gap, she was not reaching for the top schools with amazing aid, but I still feel the personal attention she is getting is worth it. I can see it and hear it every time we speak.</p>
<p>I would sacrifice lifestyle purchases, but I would not take loans to the extent that I might put my conservative lifestyle at risk</p>
<p>Appreciate the thoughtful responses. I recognize that it's hard to generalize but the feedback here certainly has been more positive than that "on the street." Some of this may just be a sign of the economic times we're in.</p>
<p>Gasdoc...
The people who haunt this website are a self selected group who overwhelmingly are interested in and value education. So the responses will tend in that direction, if only from selection bias.
The people who pay $50,000 a year are very, very affluent, whether they regard themselves that way or not. So the question becomes worth it compared to what alternatives. Owning a second home? Buying Mercedes instead of Buicks? Retiring on $95,000 rather than $85,000 per year? We are talking about a luxury market, whether for education or other purchases.</p>
<p>Two daughters at the same Ivy; after financial aid, it's the best deal in the world. Would I pay full freight for both to go? For me to have to do that, my income would have to be considerably higher than it is now, and with that the case I'd find a way to do it. I went to a top 30 university and the difference between my Ds' experiences and mine is night-and-day.</p>
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<p>That being said, it was worth the price to pay, not to borrow. <<</p>
</blockquote>
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<p>A very important point, Hanna. I am willing to be a full payer at expensive universities because I haven't had to go into massive debt to do so. </p>
<p>On CC, we shake our heads at kids who have undertaken $100K debt to go to their dream school. But it doesn't make any sense for a parent to go $100K into debt either.</p>
<p>Not many people will admit it here if it wasn't "worth it." Especially if the worth isn't readily measurable and the analysis relies on hindsight.</p>
<p>I totally agree with the "worth it, if I can afford it without taking out large loans." If it puts parents or students into sizable debt - which in my mind is over $20,000 for student's share, or over $40,000 for parent's share - not such a good deal. As I've said before (sorry for the repeat for all you old-timers! :eek:), we've been able to pay our EFC out of pocket for the last 5 years by living a frugal lifestyle. We have yet to take out a loan to pay our EFC, although we have delayed contributing towards retirement savings (but are both in defined benefit plans through work.) I would be willing to take out some loans to pay for DS's last two years at his school, but not if they were to exceed the amount above.</p>
<p>DH and I haven't gotten to this point yet with our children, but neither of us has an expensive private school undergrad degree, we both went to top notch professional schools and we've both been successful in our careers. Based on our own experience, we don't think an expensive private school education is a necessity for our children. That doesn't mean we won't provide one if that's what a child wants, just that we won't necessarily think it's "worth it."</p>
<p>Nephew went to Harvard (1st generation) and he's now at NYU medical school. He thinks his Harvard education was wonderful. My BIL and SIL, who are strapped (and will be for some time) because of the parent loans they took out to send him to Harvard, don't think it was worth it. They know now that this kid would have springboarded to success no matter where he did his undergrad - it's his younger siblings who would have benefited more from the expensive private education. They had severe misgivings before nephew chose his school, but the allure of Harvard was too strong. Now they can't afford to provide much help to their younger sons (who aren't Ivy candidates). FWIW, BIL and SIL make less than $100K and with Harvard's new FA policies, if nephew went today they wouldn't have had to take out all the loans they did. I'm sure if their already frugal lifestyle wasn't seriously impeded by loan paymentss, they might think differently.</p>
<p>I don't think the "worth" is tied into how X school will lead to "success." I agree that a kid who is gonna be successful will be successful no matter where they went to school. But for us, the money (and loans) were worth it for the experiences they had there which differed (not necessarily "better") than at other schools. These schools fit them very well and we value that they went there and so the money was well spent. I don't meaure it by what job or salary they will earn down the line.</p>
<p>I will second (or third) what soozievt said. Sending DS #1 to Swarthmore was the perfect fit for him. Even though more "prestigious" or shall I say, "well known" schools were available to him, Swat was the perfect fit for S who was "an intellectual's intellectual." :)<br>
He derived much benefit from his attendance, so in that sense it was worth it to us.</p>
<p>I fourth what soozievt said. Even so we are not paying full price. Whatever we do pay still is a very difficult task for us and we have to make deep cut in other areas of living to pay those bills. </p>
<p>The more I talked to DD, the more I develop to understand this "college experience" concept. It is not about what job and how much money. It is about so much more.</p>
<p>Life is full of trade-offs. With the kids I have, and the choices I've made, without being able to predict the future we gambled that paying full price for private was worth it. And in our experience, it was.</p>
<p>If I had 6 kids I'd have made different choices for their education. If I were in a job I loathed, I'd have made different choices. If we weren't a two income couple.... again, the math would have looked different. And if spouse and I hadn't been able to pay off our own ed loans when we did, we'd have looked differently at the costs.</p>
<p>But given the trade-offs in life, we felt it was worth a try. The kids worked their tails off, took advantage of so many of the non-classroom experiences open to them; were first in line each time an interesting job, internship, fellowship, etc. was announced; had leadership roles in organizations and causes that meant a lot to them, and therefore.... have all ended up where they wanted to be afterwards (even in the current terrible economy).</p>
<p>Here's the big "worth it" factor for me. My Ds were highly motivated small-town, rural kids with with a wide range of intellectual and artistic interests. The things that made them wonderful also made them anomalies among their peers - it was often lonely for them. They knew that they were marching to different drummers and understood that there were other kids in other settings who heard those drums too, though they'd never met many of them. The opportunity to immerse themselves in a culture that respects and honors their intellectual energy is something that I want for them, as much as they want it for themselves.</p>
<p><the opportunity="" to="" immerse="" themselves="" in="" a="" culture="" that="" respects="" and="" honors="" their="" intellectual="" energy="" is="" something="" i="" want="" for="" them,="" as="" much="" they="" it="" themselves.="">
^^^^
Well said gadad. That is exactly what we are hoping for our son.</the></p>
<p>gadad, I can relate to your post as well. My two Ds also have always been highly motivated types and they also grew up in a very small rural community. They enjoyed growing up here and it was good. They liked their home friends. But they were a bit of anomalies as well and ONE aspect of their college experiences has been the stimulation of other peers like themselves who are also very driven and just the entire environment and culture of their colleges was a very exciting experience for the kind of kid that they each are. That was what was worth it. It is not just about measuring the career or income they could earn. You can earn that coming from almost ANY college. And some fields are not even well paying after coming out of elite institutions anyway. I'm an educator and I have a graduate degree from Harvard and I have always been in low paying jobs given my degrees. One of my kids is going into theater. It is an iffy career and hard to make it and hard to make much money. But the last four years has played a huge role in her development and readiness to face the world in her field. I don't think she could have had the same experience at just any college.</p>
<p>I'm with Sooviet...no doubt, I would do it again. D1 is in a fabulous grad program and D2 is at CMU engineering. D2, as her sister did at hers, has been taking full advantage of all the campus offerings at her university. No regrets...and we do not look back.</p>