Is my father correct?

Colleges & Universities A-Z Princeton University
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<p>Okay, so I have planned for awhile to apply to Princeton. Especially due to the fact that I am a legacy (although not a major family or anything, just a regular legacy), I am excited to apply. My father went to Princeton in the 80's and he is actually telling me not to apply. My father was an excellent student in school, and he is by no means sub-par Princeton material, but he has been telling me that the school would not be a good fit for me. And no, it is NOT about the money.</p>

<p>We are not a rich family, political, or anything like that. Just a regular family, and I have a regular upbringing at a regular high school. Most people have no idea that my father went to Princeton, because, really, it does not play too big of a role in his life.</p>

<p>Anyway, so I want to apply. But my father warns against it, he says that many students at Princeton have affluent upbringings and/or are snobs. He said he liked it there, and he had a lot of fun, but it was not the atmosphere that he was used to (competitive, cliquish, full of rich people etc.). He calls typical extremely good students in high school "killers", (you know the people I am talking about). The kids who command respect from everyone at their high school. He was one of them. And every single person at Princeton is one of them. Going to Princeton is a highly humbling experience, and not having grown up in a private school preparing for the rigor of Princeton puts a person at a disadvantage and in a state of shock. It is intense. My father says he has never recovered from the experience of freshmen orientation, when every person in the room was a killer.</p>

<p>Basically, what I am asking is, is my father correct? Or have things changed drastically in thirty years? </p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

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<p>I do not know if Princeton is a good fit for you. The best way to determine that is to visit Princeton and decide for yourself.</p>

<p>Let me address your father’s comments:</p>

<p>1.“many students at Princeton have affluent upbringings” True at Princeton and many other selective universities. I had one roommate that was from a wealthy family. Most of my roommates were from middle class or from humble backgrounds. Since students do not have cars and do not live off campus wealthy students are not as obvious as at many state universities where wealthy student s live in expensive apartments and drive a Mercedes.</p>

<p>2.“snobs “ There are snobs everywhere. You can just avoid them or ignore them.</p>

<p>3.“competitive, cliquish” Students at Princeton are high achievers. They expect to get good grades and to excel in sports, music, or other EC activities. This is true at other selective universities. I found students willing to help in labs, share lecture notes, etc. I have no bad memories of grade grubbing competitive students. There are cliques every where. Football players and basketball players tend to hang out with their teammates. I did the same thing in high school. I had no desire at Princeton to join the football eating club or the basketball eating club so I did not care if they had a clique.</p>

<p>4.“Going to Princeton is a highly humbling experience” Yes. I thought that I was the best math student at my high school. I thought that I would excel at Princeton in math. The third or fourth freshman that I meet had placed second in a national math contest and said he could not imagine how he had missed a question. I realized immediately that Princeton would be a much higher level of competition.</p>

<p>5.“not having grown up in a private school preparing for the rigor of Princeton puts a person at a disadvantage and in a state of shock” I went to a public high school, never felt at a disadvantage, and never experienced shock. Most students at Princeton are from public high schools.</p>

<p>6.“It is intense. He said he liked it there, and he had a lot of fun.” It is challenging and exciting. You are able to learn from brilliant professors and learn so much from your fellow students. It is fun. </p>

<p>I attended Princeton before your father so I suspect my experience difference compared to your father has to do more with personality than when we attended Princeton. If you enjoy learning learning, if you want to share ideas with brilliant students from a wide variety of majors Princeton is a good college experience. If you lack self confidence, need hand holding, need to be recognized as the best student in your class then Princeton may not be a good fit.</p>

<p>If you are similar in personality to your father then listen to his reasons. If you respect your father but have a different personality then visit Princeton and decide for your self.</p>

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<p>Engineerjw - My son is a sophomore and my comments are based on what he has told me. I think your father is right about the high level of academic preparation of Princeton students. To use your father’s term, most P students are “killers”, but not all. They’re not super competitive, but they are super smart, and generally very well prepared for P’s rigorous academics.</p>

<p>I think your father is wrong regarding the rich/snobby factor. Sure, there are some people from very wealthy families and no doubt some snobs, but my son is neither and feels right at home.</p>

<p>Ignore jomjomjom above. A year or so ago there was a poster here (jomjom) who bashed Princeton constantly. Jomjomjom is either a reincarnation of jomjom or a copycat or parody of the original ■■■■■.</p>

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<p>“everyone there is a snob”</p>

<p>uh, no. There are thousands of kids here. Generalizations like that are pointless and offensive.</p>

<p>I almost expected that when I first got here actually, but the reality was genuinely surprising to me. It turns out, people here are surprisingly “average” in how they act (not academically i mean, but in social behavior). </p>

<p>I don’t buy into this “good fit” stuff as much as most places would probably like me too, simply because the applicant pool for all the top schools is essentially the same. It’s not like one school has a fundamentally different student body than another, though they’d like to think that. And even then, you’ll only spend time with a select group of friends who share your interests, which you can find almost anywhere. </p>

<p>Basically, you can find anything you want at Princeton if you look for it. I can’t think of why it wouldn’t be a good fit for anyone. If you were to come here and make use of the resources, you would be challenged and happy. I promise.</p>

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<p>Your father wants to protect you from the psychological ding he took(and is scarred still) from his experience from Princeton.
He obviously loves you enough to caution you but is not forbidding you to apply.
In the end, you need to decide to heed his advice or apply, get accepted and decide if you still want to attend.</p>

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<p>There are no colleges in the United States today that have a homogeneous student body consisting of </p>

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<p>Clearly the definition of “high quality students” here refers to kids who go around to other schools’ online message boards and cause a ruckus.</p>

<p>If that’s the case, then yeah, I agree that we don’t have such high quality students.</p>

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<p>I suppose it is worth applying if I go into it with an a proper outlook/attitude, I could do it. But how hard is Princeton actually? Is it really as rigorous as I hear?</p>

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<p>No, it’s easy.</p>

<p>…It’s Princeton. Yes, it’s going to be hard.</p>

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<p>going to princeton is an incredibly humbling experience-- if you come from a high school where you are clearly the top, and then you show up at princeton and everyone you meet is incredibly accomplished, it can be rough. I had a rough transition freshman year… but by the second half of the year I loved it. Depending on class choices you can either need to recalibrate your expectations or not… but it was totally worth it, even if I knew that i was no longer the smartest person at the school.</p>

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<p>I’ve spent the past 10 years being number two. No matter how hard I try I just can’t catch a break, even when I do better. So I’ve just made peace with the fact that there’s always gonna be someone better than me in something. Then there’s less disappointment when you’re the runner up… Again. (luckily for me, he wants to go to west point) :)</p>

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<p>“clearly a humbling experience” This derives from whether or not you’ll enter Princeton (or a like top university or honors college) with the right mentality. I attended one of P’ton’s rivals. I’m an immigrant kid, attended an inner city HS. I wasn’t the top student at my school but I was fearless academically (took every tough course and then some). Didn’t do it to impress anyone nor to protect my GPA or boost my rank. Applied to a handful of ivies and top engineering schools. Made them all. Left my city and plunked down in the middle of Ivy-dom at 18 years age and didn’t give a flip about what others thought of me. Around me were tons of kids from top prep schools, vals and sals galore. I’d say others seemed to question “Why did this college admit me?” more than I ever did. It just didn’t cross my mind. I didn’t care if their SATs were better than mine. I took one sitting, no prep classes. So what? I was too busy in HS.</p>

<p>I was genuinely awed by the caliber and achievement and ambition of many of my classmates. It didn’t make me shrink but really opened my eyes to what a young person could accomplish. Being at my alma mater really opened me to a new world. </p>

<p>It’s all what you make of it and what type of expectation you have. Don’t walk into any college feeling entitled b/c of accomplishments you’ve had in HS. You should be rightly proud if you’re a stand out – but don’t believe all the fluff about yourself. Good luck.</p>

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<p>This is not your father’s Princeton:</p>

<p>[Princeton</a> University - Freshman class reflects commitment to access and affordability](<a href=“http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S28/50/00O59/index.xml?section=topstories]Princeton”>http://www.princeton.edu/main/news/archive/S28/50/00O59/index.xml?section=topstories)</p>

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<p>Also:</p>

<p>[Questions</a> and Answers - Princeton In Brief](<a href=“http://www.princeton.edu/pr/admissions/u/brief/faq/]Questions”>http://www.princeton.edu/pr/admissions/u/brief/faq/)</p>

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<p>Princeton is awesome</p>

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<p>Minority enrollment can be deceiving. URM enrollment for current year 96 African Americans and 91 Hispanics. Information Common Data Set 2010. I’m not sure they have made great strides in this area.</p>

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<p>In response to the OP’s question on the last page- yes the work load is very rigourous, the competition to get the limited number of "A"s is fierce, but it is not nasty. Since almost every entering freshman was an A student, there is some adjustment to those B’s and C’s. </p>

<p>Take a look at The Princetonian online for discussions about grade deflation at PU.</p>

<p>If you have the backbone and spunk to pursue your goals without always being number one, you will do fine. Just because P was traumatic for your dad does not mean you will suffer the same reaction, especially as you are well-informed.</p>

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<p>With regard to diversity, for what it’s worth, Newsweek has just put Princeton at #9 in the country for diversity and #10 for the most gay-friendly school.</p>

<p>[The</a> 25 Most Diverse Schools - Newsweek - Education](<a href=“http://education.newsweek.com/2010/09/12/the-25-most-diverse-schools.all.html]The”>http://education.newsweek.com/2010/09/12/the-25-most-diverse-schools.all.html)</p>

<p>[The</a> Best Gay-Friendly Schools - Newsweek - Education](<a href=“http://education.newsweek.com/2010/09/12/the-best-gay-friendly-schools.all.html]The”>http://education.newsweek.com/2010/09/12/the-best-gay-friendly-schools.all.html)</p>

<p>As with all rankings, these should be taken with a huge grain of salt, but it might at least suggest the school does pretty well in those areas.</p>