Is my father unreasonable?

Paying for College
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<p>We’re saying it because of your test scores and high school performance. 21 is barely cutting it for college readiness, to be honest. I’m not even trying to be mean here; I’m just trying to be concise to try and reach out to you. </p>

<p>Let’s put it this way: I scored a 21 on the ACT when I was in 7th grade. Should I have just called it quits and shipped off to college there and then because the ACT people said I met the minimum college readiness requirements? </p>

<p>At the end of the day, it’s all on you. But honestly you’re just setting yourself up for a really hard road, like really hard to the point you might not overcome it. I know people who pay between 7-11k too but their ACT scores were 10 points higher than yours and their GPA was about 1.3 points higher. </p>

<p>I also have a friend with a 21 and a 3.2 gpa. Guess where she goes? CC. Guess what she says about my university homework? Too hard. </p>

<p>If you did the best you could in school and just couldn’t afford the one that best matches you, that’s one thing. But now that we know you can probably barely handle the rigors of this dream school, it points to complete, utter foolishness, IMO. </p>

<p>You say that you’re motivated and steadfast, and that’s great. Just focus your efforts on attainable things. The parents have already told you how to go about being a doctor, so get off this forum and start making it happen.</p>

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<p>There’s a difference between paying 7K to 11K when you can afford it and paying that much money when you can’t afford it. If those 5 college students are paying that much and coming from the same situation that you are coming from, I think most of us would say that they’re also making a mistake.</p>

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<p>I have no comments about test scores and readiness. The main issue here is whether the OP can afford to go to the college of choice. Dad won’t pay. Where are you going to get the money? That’s really what it comes down to. You don’t want to find yourself owing the college so that you cannot register for a term and your transcripts are held hostage. That is what happens to many kids who won’t take action and find affordable options before their backs are to the wall</p>

<p>Anyone who has issues with your transferring to an affordable school, can write you the check needed to go to your current college. If I were a student who was content with the college I had attended freshman year, a boarding college, I would not be happy about having to move back home and commuting, and i agree that it hurts to have to go to CC when peers and family have their noses up in the air about it. But, they aren’t paying for your college. You already have enough of a challenge just coming up with what you owe this school, much less what another year is going to cost, and it usually just gets more and more expensive.</p>

<p>Believe me, when you do graduate, the less you owe, the better off you will be.</p>

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<p>Thank you. Some one answered my question. @cptofthehouse my dad has greed to pay $900 a month while i pay $300 a month and any living expenses I need.</p>

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<p>I’m glad you can make it work. Do make sure, however, if things look like the school is not affordable that you have some alternatives in mind before you owe too much to the school. Many schools will allow you to get a term behind, but when it comes down to it, the time will come when you cannot enroll for the next term’s classes and if Dad comes up empty, you can be stuck as the school will not release your transcripts for transfer until you are up to date. I’ve seen kids get stuck that way. That all of your friends are paying X amount each year has absolutely nothing to do with what YOU and your dad can afford. I live in an area where most all kids get cars purchased by parents. So what? We can’t do it for our kids. They get cars when they can afford them, and the maintenance and the insurance. Can’t keep up with the Jones here, According to FAFSA and every other chart, we can pay full freight for a top priced private, room and board, the full thing. But we cannot with the other obligation we have and what else we want. Doesn’t matter what everyone else does. Not one bit.</p>

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<p>As for school. I have had two summer assignments for fall classes and I have completed both with annotations and typed summaries. So I think I will be fine. I plan on getting a part-time job while in school and only working weekends in the morning so that I have time to study at night because of soccer and other obligations.</p>

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<p>I could speak with 10 college students who are full pay. Does that change my financial circumstances? </p>

<p>Now what is this about how they can afford more and their stats are better, so you can drain the well dry? </p>

<p>Sheesh. Do you realize you told us your dad has a limited income? And that you have described him as an unreliable resource?</p>

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<p>@lookingforward my sister had to pay $1000 a month last year. She is paying part of her education as am I. He has a job taking care of my grandmother getting an additional income.</p>

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<p>paintgirl:<br>
Your original question was (paraphrasing) if what you were given in your financial aid package was all you would get. Answer: yes</p>

<p>Something doesn’t sound right about your situation, so with that I say:<br>
Good luck, you will need it.
Unsolicited Advice: Take several English and writing courses to improve your English skills.</p>

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<p>To echo the other posters comments: YOU are the one who is unrealistic. Your plan is to transfer to another school after one year. Your application to this other school will be due at in the middle of your freshman year. Because you will be transferring with less than two years of college, you will have to provide your high school stats on your transfer app. Financial aid for TOP transfer students is considerably LESS than for incoming freshman. No matter how well you do your freshman year, you are going to be offered LESS financial aid, not more. </p>

<p>Also, based on what you’ve told us, the chances that your dad is actually going to be able to pay the amount he’s telling you he can pay are very very slim.</p>

<p>Your post regarding the fact that only 40% of cc students transferred is an indication that you have 0 idea what happens at community colleges. A majority of the programs at ccs are terminal two year technical/vocational degrees, NOT transfer degrees. Most students at a cc never had ANY plan, or desire, to pursue a 4 year degree. A 40% transfer rate at a CC is extraordinary! </p>

<p>Finally, never mind your grades: without a swift, MAJOR attitude change you have no hope of being successful with your med school plans. Students who are aiming for med school move heaven and earth to do every single little thing they can to maximize the strength of their application AND their college GPA. Whether you realize it or not, the only real hope of success you have is to start off at a CC where you will have access to the remedial courses, services and support you need to strengthen your academic skills. Right now you just do not have what it takes to survive freshman classes which are designed specifically to weed out unrealistic students (which ARE MOST students who say they are headed to med school).</p>

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<p>I don’t disagree with what most members here are telling the OP, I have stated as much in a previous post. However, I need to clear up this citation for possible future readers of this thread because it is making a generalized statement about transfer FA.</p>

<p>FA for transfers is often limited compared to fr applicants. However, it is not always less than what would have been offered a fr with the same financial circumstances. Many of the most generous schools for fr admits treat transfers exactly the same for need based FA; eg. HYP, Dartmouth, Amherst, and others.</p>

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<p>Scubasue took the words out of my mouth. 9 pages and I am not sure paintgirl417 actually got it.</p>

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<p>Entomom: I said FA when I should have said merit scholarships. I do understand that for the most part, students in the same financial circumstances usually get similar FA. However, it is my understanding that merit scholarships for transfer students are rarely as much as merit scholarships for incoming freshmen. This poster is talking about getting her grades up so that she qualifies for more scholarships.</p>

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<p>Bad GPA + Bad Act Score + Bad Circumstances + limited money = CC then transferring to 4 year. It is very obvious that you just want people to agree with you. So have fun paying off a ridiculous amount of debt.</p>

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<p>scubasue, as I said, my response was to the general statement that was posted.</p>

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<p>OP…one thing you will absolutely need to do is PASS all of your courses…and not drop them either. If you drop or fail a certain %age of courses, you run the risk of not meeting SAP (satisfactory academic progress). If that happens, you will NOT be eligible to receive ANY federally funded financial aid. Not a penny…no loans, no work study, no Pell, no SEOG…nada. Your GPA could still be sufficient to keep your school aid if you simply drop courses in which you are doing poorly…but drop a certain %age…and you will not meet SAP regardless of your GPA on the remaining courses. </p>

<p>Anecdote. My DD was a very strong high school student. She told us it took her a full semester to “learn college”. She worked only 8 hours a week, and had NO sports commitment (which can be huge). Her top priority was getting really high college grades, managing her time well, etc.</p>

<p>Please…set yourself up for success. Don’t place a lot of additional obstacles in your path.</p>

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<p>so i guess you are all saying my sister and I should go to community college. I do not need remedial english classes. I received an A in AP English Literature. Bad ACT score? I do not believe so since I got a 25 in English, 27 in Reading, 23 in Science and 9 in Math and this is my updated sitting. I am terrible at math, I know. B+ in AP Biology, B in Chemistry. Poor GPA, yea i know. But it is funny how some of you thought I sat around doing nothing in high school. 32 hours a week for a job, volunteer on the weekends, babysitter, travel soccer, school soccer and more. I do not need anyone to verify i need to go to community college. Will I go? No. This thread is over with. Let me learn my lessons. TBH if I were to go to CC i WILL, let me say it again, I WILL get kicked out of the house for not attending ANY four year institution, whether it is bad or not. I would be working full time to support myself, and wouldn’t even possibly have time for school. They think I am a leech, if I do not go to school full time and I am NOT out of the house. So, do i respect what a good majority of the polite people have said? yes i do. But i do not need someone barking in my trying to tell me to go to cc when i have no chance of seeing cc until maybe 2-5 years later.</p>

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<p>Alright OP. It seems like you’ve made up your mind. I strongly disagree with you, but I wish you the best of luck.</p>

<p>One thing though, if you could give us an update from time to time? I’m very curious to see what will happen :p</p>

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<p>Paintgirl, I am not commenting on your academic preparedness. Be aware that MANY students cannot register for classes, end up having to leave college because the money runs out. From what you have shared with us, your father is not confident about being able to pay for both you and your sister to go to college. If he doesn’t pay, whethe he now says he’ll do so, you are likely to be out the door and CC may not even be an option for you with financial aid in limbo and owing money to a school. Who on earth will be kicking you out you house when there is not enough money for you to go to school.? Some of the biggest student leeches, in fact THE biggest college student leeches are the ones who are away at school. That room and board costs money, you know, and most kids can’t make enough to pay for a sleep away college. If your dad can’t come up with the money, all of the commitments he made to you make no difference. If the money numbers don’t add up, he can’t pay. Can’t squeeze water out of stone. You don’t have to be good at math to understand this. You started this thread because you dad isn’t sure he can afford to pay for your college. Parents hate, hate, hate to say this, so for him to voice this means that there are some issues here. Don’t put on blinders, as you can find out way too late that your father cannot pay what is needed. Better you have some plans ready, because most of the time colleges are not going to ante up more money even if you have to drop out due to lack of it. You absolutely cannot count on a college coming to the rescue. Ice runs in the veins of those making these decision, and it has to be this way because there simply is not enough money to go around. </p>

<p>Where is the person who is insisteing you go to a 4 year school expecting you to get the money? Your college of choice has likely given you the best package you will see. All things equal, students are expected to pay MORE of their costs each year at most colleges, and the prices tend to go UP to boot. I’ve been through this enough times, to tell you that you can pretty much count on it. Just being pragmatic here.</p>

<p>And if you are not caught up fiancially at a school, you can’t transfer a lot of times, because they will refuse to release your records until you pay up. All of this makes no sense to you, but when it happens, as it has to many kids, you find out the hard way. Trying to just veer you off that path. </p>

<p>Too many parents get persuaded or bullied or shamed into committing ot pay when the reality is that they cannot afford the costs. I’m telling you this happens ALOT. </p>

<p>CC is just one affordable option, often easily available to most kids and can be an inexpensvie way to knock out some of those first step classes. My kids used them to do that. To get a bachelor’s degree, you need to find a four year program for the last half of your college, so CC is really an opton for those starting, not ending their colllege degree journey.</p>

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<p>I completely agree with cpt here. </p>

<p>This isn’t about if you’re ready for college or not; it’s about if you’re ready for the financial responsibility of it, which your posts indicate that you are not. </p>

<p>Your dad can’t afford to pay (forever), you can’t work 32 hours a week while going to school (trust me, I know), and you need to do super well while doing all of this to transfer to a school that offers more aid. </p>

<p>You know what I would do? Take a gap year to earn some money and reevaluate everything. That’s really the best thing if you refuse to go to CC. Apply to schools that will give you more aid and that are maybe public and cheaper, and go from there. </p>

<p>I’m not trying to criticize you here. I kind of know what it feels like to go against your family. I’m a farmer, and my family didn’t even WANT me to go to college. When I was in high school, they told me they’d never forgive me if I abandoned the business by shuffling away to college. They said I’d ruin any shot I had at a comfortable, suitable life (since farming is the only thing we all know) and that I’d be acting foolishly. </p>

<p>Fast forward to now, and they still talk to me, still work with me, and still love me (hopefully since I can’t always tell). </p>

<p>Take this personal example like this: do what’s best for YOU. Stop worrying about everyone else. In ten years it’ll still be about you but have nothing to do with them. </p>

<p>I really wish you well.</p>