<p>you do not need remedial English classes. To make it through 2 calculus classes, the chemistry and the physics classes you need you MUST have remedial math classes. Improving your math skills is your only hope of progressing with your academic dreams. </p>
<p>Whether or not you are going to get kicked out of the house, the fact is that you can’t pay for 4 years at a 4 year school. So, the question is what are you going to do about that?</p>
<p>Again, it’s all on you. Just know that every act has a consequence. </p>
<p>I wish you well.</p>
<p>My only advice is this:</p>
<p>STOP comparing yourself to your sister. What she did/grades she got/money she got…that isn’t you. </p>
<p>STOP comparing your potential education to that of your father’s. College was cheaper than. Admissions were easier. You are not him. Times have changed. And his financial resources are dwindling. </p>
<p>You seem to expect perfection from your father and from the “system” when your own performance has been less than perfect also. You want him to do everything right, to make your dream come true. Yet YOU didn’t do everything to make your dream come true. You didn’t apply to schools you could get into and afford. YOU didn’t get the grades and test scores to make you a more attractive candidate. </p>
<p>GUESS WHAT?? You need to move on, as the serenity prayer says…change what you can, let go of what you can’t and know the difference between the two. What you need to do now is find the best route to your dream…and it’s NOT putting your dad in a position where he AGREES to something he cannot follow through on.</p>
<p>Here’s the problem. We experience many poster situations on CC. And, various personality types- kids who engage and consider the advice, no matter how they finally decide; and, ahem, kids who outright reject and insist they know better.</p>
<p>Add to that, OP is so focused on her dreams and outrage that she didn’t give us anything close to a “whole story.” Yikes. I’ve been wondering why the college took a chance on a possible pre-med with such ditchy grades and ACT. NOW she tells us there are other strengths. THAT the sink hole is math. 137 posts in, after too much 'tude.</p>
<p>This isn’t uncommon. (This omission.) But it underscores the issue with analytical and critical thinking. Sheesh. </p>
<p>We all know kids who gained ground in college. And, no, cc isn’t always the best place. I think this whole convo would have been more productive, on both sides, if OP had recognized and lessened the self-righteousness and given us a plain, fuller picture.</p>
<p>She will have her challenges.<br>
She’s still left with financial hurdles.
I hope she gets it, whatever “it” is.</p>
<p>My D2 did not have a plan B, just her strengths in math/sci and years of wanting to be a doc. (Due to other issues, she rejected my advice to cover her butt.) Weeding blindsided her. Would have devastated her if she hadn’t been coming out of her funk AND finally took my advice to explore. Found two new fascinations. But, man, you hate to see any other kid setting herself up this way.</p>
<p>@lookingforward I do not have an attitude problem. You discussing this thread after my father has given me two options and your badgering of me making the “wrong” choice is my responsibility. It is not yours. Please respect the decision I have made. I would much rather lose financial assistance AFTER my first year from my father than lose my family to begin with. God, Familie, and Onderwijs is all i have in this world and I dont need someone over the internet to tell me where my priorities lie. Taking the option of not getting kicked out of the house is the option I am taking. Thank you and have a good day.</p>
<p>Paintgirl: Many people here have tried to help you including a FA officer, admissions experts, parents who’ve been through the whole college process several times and at least one math teacher. They know what they are talking about, and you do NOT know what you are talking about. I sincerely hope before you head off to school, you will set aside your very bad attitude and your raging ego and consider some of the practical and valuable advice you have received.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you. Sad that you have disregarded and disrespected many who have taken time and efforts to give you the best advice they can. Hope you, your sis and family have Plan B that will work as well as you think Plan A will work because I doubt many here will be interested in a tale of woe after such disrespect.</p>
<p>“I do not have an attitude problem” = attitude problem. </p>
<p>I seriously don’t know what you expected from this forum, but all I know is that people much wiser and smarter than you (the parents and school folk) have been doing nothing but trying to help you. I think you come from a family that puts a lot of pressure on you and you feel that you need to live up to those expectations at whatever cost. That’s something none of us can help you with, but we CAN try and show you different options, which you obviously aren’t considering or thinking about. </p>
<p>And if you didn’t want people from online to criticize your plans, why would you even post on an online, public forum? I don’t know if you just wanted validation or something, but I hope that you’ll look back on this after some time and realize that you have a lot of good advice. Please come back in a week after you cool down to reevaluate what everyone said.</p>
<p>Paintgirl, I can sense through your posts just how much your family means to you, but your own family hasn’t been very successful lately. Your mom is in jail, your dad lost his house to foreclosure, and your family is just having a hard time. You may have to quickly mature and realize that right now, no one wants to face another disappointment amid all the hardship. You are all wearing rose colored glasses. The thing is, that unless someone takes them off quickly, your family could be even worse off getting into more debt trying to afford the college you want. I am asking you to consider what will happen if your father should become ill, or the house you are living in needs a major repair, or some other really important big expensive emergency comes up? How will your father manage if he his spending so much on your college every month? Thinking about the here and now is one thing, but someone in your family has to start thinking about “What if” and have a plan to handle emergencies. You could help your family, instead of continuing the “everything is going to be fine” wish upon a star.
How could anyone kick you out of your home for possibly making the wisest personal and financial decision that anyone has made recently in your family?</p>
<p>Ouch, a 9 in math. I hate to drag this thread onto yet another tangent, but have you ever been evaluated for dyscalculia or similar math-related learning difference?</p>
<p>Paintgirl,</p>
<p>I was wondering if you and your family have actually sat down and discussed CC? Are you just assuming that your family would kick you out if you enrolled into a CC or did your father actually say that? I realize that many families may just assume “Well, we’re not <em>that</em> sort of family and CC is not for <em>our</em> family”. But that seems to be a very short-sighted view. </p>
<p>CC is a viable option for families who may not be able to afford a four-year college right now. It’s becoming more common and accepted to attend CC with the intent to transfer to a four-year university and finish up a bachelor’s degree. You can start on a major in CC and also work on bolstering your math skills (you will need it if you’re premed). Transfer as a more confident (less defensive) and stronger student into one of the amazing public universities you have in Virginia.</p>
<p>Here’s the thing. You said your father is retired on an income of $48,000. That’s not a lot of money. And you wanted him to pay $1200 a month, I see that he will pay $900 a month now. That is A LOT OF MONEY for him. Moreover, there is no way for him to make up the loan amount later - he doesn’t have the time, he cannot look forward to a pay raise or promotion because he’s retired. </p>
<p>Family is important. As such, you should be thinking of your father and how he is spending his retirement. He should NOT be struggling at this time of his life, trying to figure out every month which bill he can pay.</p>
<p>Like I said before I have nothing more to say. I got answers from 3 people out of rants of the these 10 pages. My only question was is this what I can expect for my financial aid package? The answer was yes. Thank you all who answered my question. $1,361 got knocked of the $12,600 because it was student health insurance. I already pay health insurance in my household.</p>
<p>In my heritage it is the children who take care of their parents which is what my father i doing with my grandmother. Within the next 15-20 years I will be doing the same for him. And by take care I mean put a house over their head, buy them food, new gadgets and whatever else to please them. It is a tradition. He will be well rewarded by my sister and I.</p>
<p>Yes i have spoken with them. They said you stay one month and then you must leave.</p>
<p>You are the one who has ranted at everyone. </p>
<p>Hope you are able to do all you say you will. And that you also can “make extra income” taking care of your father when the time comes. I suspect you will sorely need the money…</p>
<p>I don’t think OP had any such conversation with her father. If she said “Father, I know how difficult things will be financially for you if I go away. I have looked into the community colleges around here, and they DO send students as transfers to 4 year schools. I would like to save you the money by going to a cc, and then transferring to William and Mary, or UVA” I don’t think Father, who was first worried about the cost of the school in Pennsylvania, would say, “No, if you do you must move out. I insist on spending $900 a month I can’t afford easily to send you to a school you can not afford to stay at and from which you won’t receive a degree anyway. Please let me spend money I don’t have on a college most students cannot graduate from in 4 years.”</p>
<p>you dont think i have tried standing up to him? He thinks he knows everything and knows best. He says " do not try to think for me, I am the adult, you are the child." And he repeats this with any conversation we have about finances.</p>
<p>OP - have you really sat your dad down and talked to him and explained everything? I am assuming that despite certain traditions he is a reasonable man. I just don’t think that he fully understands the situation. Even though he went to a good university.</p>
<p>I have learned so much from CC over the past couple years that I didn’t know when I sent my S off to college three years ago - and now I have learned so much more from the mistakes I made while sending my D off to college this year. These really are knowlegable people who believe in doing the “right thing” - sort of like your dad.</p>
<p>Like your dad I am college educated - but back in the day everything was much simpler. Just apply to your state school - and pay a couple thousand a year for COA - easy. Things are much more complicated these days - and unless he actually follows recent changes and the impact on students/families your dad doesn’t really have any way of truly understanding. I certainly did not understand. </p>
<p>Just sit down and map everything out on paper - pros and cons. Apply financial considerations - like the impact on your families cash flow. Do you know how much comes into the household and goes out every month for expenses? Do you know how much interest adds up and what the replayment plan looks like? Have you investigated the price of medical school? I am not trying to be “a downer” but rather… realistic.</p>
<p>I am a planner by nature and I believe in sitting down and figuring out what you can based on what you know. You won’t know everything - but put everything down on paper -then keep coming back to it. You owe it to yourself - and your dad to really sit down, do your homework and analyze the situation. Then explain it all to him in a respectful way - show him what is in it for him. Show him how he can end up with what he wants in the long run - if the right steps are taken now.</p>
<p>I am engaged to a wonderful Carribean man who agrees that it is the culture to take care of their elders. This is a lovely tradition - and I hope you are able to fulfill it. Best of luck.</p>
<p>OP - I think we crossposted.</p>
<p>It is not about “standing up to him”. It is about connecting to him and really communicating. One of the best ways I know to do this is to write everything down. It makes the information more tangible and real. Harder to argue against. </p>
<p>Got to come at it from the right angle though. Truly collaborate with him and try to find solutions. I know you are only 17 - but you will soon be 18 and an adult. Not his peer of course - but someone he should expect to be able to exchange ideas and share opinions. </p>
<p>Maybe you guys should go through counseling to learn to communicate with each other better?</p>
<p>Family comes first? But you said you hate Pburg (or wherever) and plan to never return. Honey, we are reading you words.</p>
<p>Same author who stated others told her the cc was bad, never a more appropriate response about why some time there wouldn’t fit YOU. Same who said only Nova and RB were any good- and implied they were out of range, when RB is in Pburg.</p>
<p>We would like to see you are considering what we write. And see intelligent, non-emotional responses. In itself, that would go a long way to showing your maturity and problem handling skills. We need more than well, magically dad agreed to pay. We want to see you grasp our advice- and if you could reasonably explain your thought processes (not dreams and what sis got and where dad and uncle went to college, who threatened whom and the foreclosure, what 5 kids said about their aid and what’s wrong with “our” attitudes and distraction after distraction,) then we could see that you are thinking. And, if you had revealed the other ACT scores, the better grades, some reflective thinking, we wouldn’t be freaking repeating ourselves.</p>
<p>Lashing out at me or other posters- you have to know you are doing this. Maybe it’s venting from some other source. I softened my thoughts when I learned, finally, that you did have some better grades and it was only math that took the ground out from under your ACT. I said some kids do turnaround in college, cc isn’t always a great choice. But I do question your thinking- I don’t know you, only your words here and the palpable tension in them. I meant it when I suggested, reread your posts- for what you may be able to see. And learn.</p>