Is my USC essay anything special?

<p>The prompt: Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.</p>

<p>"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." Although I do not remember seeing this quote on the Statue of Liberty when I came to America, I can relate to the feelings that many immigrants had upon arriving in this welcoming country: excited, restless, and hopeful. However, solely immigrating to the United States did not necessarily equate to accessing all the benefits the country had to offer. Instead, this access was granted only by becoming a citizen. Through the long process of receiving my American citizenship, I learned the importance of perseverance, having an identity, and the value of being a citizen.
In the journey of obtaining my citizenship, I was challenged by many difficulties. Yet, I was able to overcome these adversities by my perseverance and determination. It was difficult not being an American and I learned the immense distinction between being a citizen and an alien. Before I became a citizen, every government related objective was a long and arduous process. For instance, the task of traveling by air consisted of long waits, numerous questions, and repetitive searches. I often felt like I would always have to go through these drawn out processes and that I would never become an American. Yet, my parents taught me the motto “good things come in waiting,” a motto that I adopted for myself. Thus, I learned to have perseverance and to hold onto the hope that one day I can and will achieve my goals. This is important because in seeking our goals, we will be faced with many obstacles. By obtaining perseverance, we can overcome these obstacles and not lose sight of what is important to us.
It was not just the monotony of government regulations that made being an alien discouraging; rather it was my lack of an identity. I was a boy stuck in the middle of various social and political norms, none of which I could associate myself with. This all changed when I received my American citizenship. After twelve years of waiting I finally found the identity that I longed for. In this experience, I learned the importance of having an identity. An identity is vital because without one, we have little sense of self. An identity makes it easier to associate and communicate with others, while also providing self-awareness. Although my identity will continue to change and be molded by my future experiences, because I am now an American, I am hopeful that I never will have to live without one again.
Few Americans are aware of the great benefits given to them as citizens. By becoming an American citizen, I learned the many freedoms and opportunities that being a citizen has to offer. I value being an American so much because I have lived half of my life not being one. This lesson is important because it brought with it a love of country and a true appreciation of all that was given to me when I became a citizen. Voltaire once profoundly argued, “Our country is that spot to which our heart is bound.” Indeed, my country must be America.
Looking back on my life, I can easily state that it is this moment that I am most proud of: becoming an American citizen. In this experience, I have learned the importance of preserving through adversity, obtaining an identity, and the value of being an American citizen. These lessons taught to me in my life will be valuable in my future journeys in my education and in my future career. For as Aldous Huxley once said “Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.”</p>

<p>Here are several constructive criticisms i have to offer:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I’ve always been wary of essays related to being a first gen immigrant, embracing culture in a moment of epiphany, etc.</p></li>
<li><p>You description of how this happened seems a little too superficial to me. I have always liked anecdotes. You write it kind of like you might write an essay in school. It takes away from your voice and personality. It makes it seem somewhat dull and impersonal. I have always liked anecdotes and a somewhat informal tone as a way of conveying both a message and my personality to adcoms. </p></li>
<li><p>I’m sure you meant “pERsevering through adversity” not “pREserving through adversity.” that could hurt you if that’s how you sent it in. </p></li>
<li><p>I didn’t really get the connection that because you had a hard time becoming a citizen and are suddenly a patriot that your life is suddenly more valuable in terms of education and purpose. I felt it was a bit of a logical jump and a little cliche. Most everyone in America are proud to be Americans and most applying to college generally cherish education and the value of it. It may be little difficult to distinguish yourself apart from the applicants though this essay.</p></li>
</ol>