<p>Where we lived for 15 years in NJ, it was very white bread. When we first moved there, my kids stood out. It was more diversed at their private school. The school was a lot more PC when it came to cultural and racial diversity, and incident of discrimination was dealt with. </p>
<p>At a lot of those private schools, often it is cool to be smart and do school work. Those “nerdy kids” don’t need to wait until college to blossom socially.</p>
<p>Yes ,my D got to do alot of cool things and take courses not available in a public school .She met some very unique students and teachers that no doubt made a life long impression on her , including one teacher who was recently honored for teaching there for 50 YEARS !! I guess the money was well spent .</p>
<p>We knew a family who sent their daughter to a private MA Prep school at great sacrifice, the mother was a widow. The daughter ended up at a 4th Tier private college, due to getting a good financial aid package. This young woman is presently unemployed, like so many other college grads. In this instance, maybe all that sacrifice was not worth the mother’s efforts, and there was nothing wrong with their public high school in their school district, as a matter of fact it was a very excellent school district.</p>
<p>I think to rely on stats of prep schools, many of whose graduates are legacies, is iffy. If there is a good public school that parent can move to, that may offer most of the same advantages.</p>
<p>Of course it depends on the child. </p>
<p>Our older son was born to learn and about all we had to do was to buy the books and help him find his way to school. Went straight through public schools and is now getting straight As at Rice. In NYC we have some specialized high schools which are great for self-motivated high achievers. If someone thrives on competition and wants to do well in math and science there is no way a private school can compete with the top science schools here. Or, for example, Madonna’s daughter is now in a specialized public arts school which puts on Broadway level productions a few times a year. No way Dalton or Collegiate gives her that kind of support group.</p>
<p>Now our younger son is a different story. He’s as bright as his older brother but never showed any interest is school. He got into one of the top high schools based on an aptitude test but literally started to fail subjects. Finally we gave up and put him in a boarding school, Trinity-Pawling, and the turnaround has been amazing. Within days he was talking about wanting to do well in school and now he’s excited about where he will go to college.</p>
<p>So in short, for my older son, if we could it again, even with Madonna’s money, we wouln’t risk changing a thing. For my younger son I would mortgage the house, cash in the retirement funds, take on another job or whatever is necessary in that I think this change may very well be saving his life.</p>
<p>Where I live, sending your kid to private school is known as “spending the college money on high school.”</p>
<p>I think that quote expresses the quandary many families find themselves in. Private schools may offer smaller classes, a more academic environment (in some cases), better college counseling, and (not a small consideration for some) more opportunities for average-ability athletes to play on a school team, simply because there are fewer people trying out for that team at a smaller school.</p>
<p>On the other hand, few people of ordinary financial means can afford to pay tuition for high school AND pay college tuition. And the public schools in our area are pretty good.</p>
<p>One sad trend I’ve noticed in our area is that African-American families who place a high value on academic achievement sometimes consider private school a necessity. It gets their kids away from the anti-academic attitude still found among many African-American kids in the public schools. Families of other ethnic backgrounds don’t face this problem (or this expense).</p>
<p>If you’re lucky, you live in a place where there’s a third alternative – public school magnet programs. Some offer private school quality at public school prices. That’s a deal that’s hard to beat.</p>
<p>Rankings don’t tell the whole story public school-wise (just as we know they don’t for college). We live in a top district, I went to hs here. The education my 3 received at the local prep school is incomparable. The quality of teachers, the level of discussion, test preparation, I could go on. S has 2 classes this year with 6 & 8 kids respectively- the others are around 10 kids. There are many times where public may be a better option for a program or athletic situation, but if it is feasible economically whether through full pay or scholarships it is probably worth it.</p>
<p>One sad trend I’ve noticed in our area is that African-American families who place a high value on academic achievement sometimes consider private school a necessity. It gets their kids away from the anti-academic attitude still found among many African-American kids in the public schools. Families of other ethnic backgrounds don’t face this problem (or this expense).</p>
<p>THis is frustrating & what can be surprising is that the ( anti-academics) attitude sometimes comes from college educated AA parents- who should know better.</p>
<p>My daughter attended a very good public high school in what
passes for the " inner city" in Seattle. She had black ( both AA & recent immigrant) friends who were academically successful, but for the most part they were female- it was much more difficult for black boys to stay focused with so much pulling on them.</p>
<p>Many of us have different choices than “good public vs. elite prep school.” Our SoCal city has a bad-to-middling public school system, and the high schools in particular are weak. So parents who want a good education for their kids either find the money to move to one of the small satellite towns with strong school systems-- which means more expensive houses, and since this is the LA area, we’re talking REALLY expensive houses-- or find the money for private school. Either way, you’re paying. </p>
<p>We opted for a middle ground: a private Catholic college prep school. Not elite, with very moderate tuition by local standards, but 100% of grads go on to college, and smart girls are celebrated, and there’s great ethnic and economic diversity. The facilities and teachers aren’t all on the level of the famous prep schools, and the school only sends a couple of kids a year to an Ivy, but it’s a nurturing place, and the graduates go on to do very well.</p>
<p>I really think that high school is what you make of it. Although it seems tacky to say, it’s definitely true. There are definite advantages to attending a prep school, and it will certainly increase your chances of being accepted into a prestigious college. However, people from many other types of schools are also accepted to prestigious colleges. It’s a matter of taking advantage of the opportunities available to you. Prep schools have phenomenal faculty, great curriculums and extracurricular programs, and are very good at preparing students for college. While most schools aren’t like the top prep schools, there are certainly tons of opportunities for students to do well, as long as the student has the initiative to take advantage of those opportunities.</p>
<p>If you as a student can create an ivy-league worthy application without attending a prestigious preparatory school, then don’t waste the $200,000. I go to a good, but not great, private school, and many students go on to prestigious colleges. One school I know of sends dozens of kids to top schools like Harvard, Yale, MIT, Carnegie Mellon, Caltech, Princeton, and the list goes on…and this school is a completely tuition-free public school.</p>
<p>So I guess the bottom line is that if you can be accepted to your reach school without spending $200,000 in tuition at a prep school, then don’t spend that $200,000 in tuition at a prep school. Simple.</p>
<p>We think DD was benefited from the following at her prep HS.
<p>So looking back, we think it was a wonderful experience and if one have the means one should provide such experience to the children. This is the best gift one can provide to their children.
Send the children for a life long experience and not for the end goal of getting into a top schools.</p>
<p>In many ways this discussion mirrors the threads about top private colleges vs. good publics ones. If we all had money trees in the back yard, the question about the benefits of a prep school education would be one about individual fit.</p>
<p>I personally believe that enriching experiences are most impactful (i.e. for shaping abilities, instilling a lifelong love of learning, and fostering achievement motivation) during the earlier preschool/elementary years. This can be achieved with pricey schools & enrichments or with good parental resourcefulness.</p>
<p>Later on, it’s the child who chooses to make the most of his/her middle and high school (or not)…and much of this may be related to emotional and social adjustment. For sure, having friends and liking school are related to academic achievement.</p>
<p>CaliforniaDancer, who attended a really good private prep school, wrote:</p>
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<p>In my opinion, IF you have the money and desire to go to a private prep school, THIS is the reason to do so…for the experience, not the end result. </p>
<p>My kids went to public school and had great college admissions results. If we had private day prep schools in our region (we don’t) and IF I had the money (we didn’t), the only reason I would have sent them to private school would be for the experience, not for any college admissions “advantage.”</p>
<p>smile12157 wrote:
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<p>Likewise, private school is not an option in some locations such as ours. We don’t have 'em. Also, the concept of “private or public” is not an option to the vast majority who do not have the financial means to pay for private high school. Those considering these options have the means to send their kids to private school in the first place.</p>
<p>1012mom wrote:</p>
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<p>Completely agree.</p>
<p>2Chillaxin wrote:</p>
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<p>My kids’ only option was their rural public high school. It is not like a top prep school, but they had lots of opportunities and lots of initiative and did well, and went onto so called “prestigious” colleges or programs.</p>
<p>POIH wrote:</p>
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<p>I’ll be the first to say that my girls’ rural public HS was not as good as your D’s private prep school. However, it is interesting that SOME of the things you noted about her elite prep school were true at our lowly public…
such as:
*<em>individualized attention and small class size
*</em>can initiate and start an EC (my kids did)
**no fighting to get into classes or ECS; if eligible you can take the AP or if you have a passion, you are able to participate in the EC activity.</p>
<p>pathways wrote:</p>
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<p>I agree…the idea is to have enriching experiences and these can happen in a myriad of environments. Our kids had a lot of enriching experiences outside the school day. Their youth was a mix of influences from a small public school, extracurricular involvement, summer programs, and parental support/involvement.</p>
<p>soozievt: I won’t be able to make comments on the resources available to a students at your public HS.</p>
<p>But the question to ask are:
<p>POIH…I was not comparing our rural public to your elite prep school. I only commented that three points you made about your D’s school actually were true at my D’s school as well. I am POSITIVE there are many differences too.</p>
<p>As far as peer group, since you bring that up…your D’s entire school population is much stronger than my Ds’ public school. HOWEVER, our school had tracked classes and my kids took the hardest classes. I would say that the top 15% of kids at our HS were as strong as the general population at your prep school. My kids took their academic core subjects with the strongest students in the student body. Those kids were their academic peers. In other areas such as the cafeteria, gym class, and ECs, they mixed with a wider range of kids. </p>
<p>The activity my D2 started at her school received full support from the school and was very successful and had never been done at the school. I have noticed since she left, other students have continued with this endeavor in some fashion. She really started something there that was ambitious and in fact, I think her initiatives were noticed by adcoms (which is not why she did it at all). My D is now doing the same sort of thing on a professional level for pay in NYC. I am so glad my kid had the opportunity to do this while in HS. She created this opportunity and many kids benefitted from her initiative in starting it. In fact, I can trace this back to our wonderful rural elementary school that set my D up to do independent studies supervised one to one by her principal in doing the very thing she is now paid to do as a young adult in NYC.</p>
<p>Worth it? Depends - - on how much the pvt school costs, available public school options and, if your talking about boarding school (as opposed to pvt “day” school), it depends very much on the child. </p>
<p>For my family it was a no-brainer. D was admitted to tip-top day school w/very generous finaid. The school had far more resources than the best of the public options - - not to mention a welcoming environ unknown in NYC public schools (A friend once said, “It’s easier to get a tour of Riker’s Island [a prison] as a tax payer than it is to get a your of a NYC public school as a prospective parent.”). And b/c the day sch was serious about its commit to diversity, the school was far more racially diverse than public “gifted” programs (we were particularly concerned abour AA enrollment; D was one of four black girls in her day sch class and would have been the only black student - - male or female - - in any of the available “gifted” classes).</p>
<p>In 8th grade, about 20% of the day sch class, including D, applied to prep (boarding) school. D probably should have waited to enter in 10th grade (maturity), and in general, prep sch not experience (weaker academics and less stellar teaching staff) paled in comparison her experience at the day sch, but she survived - - and is not a senior at top LAC. </p>
<p>(If fact, she may have fared better in college admissions b/c at prep school she bigger/stronger fish in a weaker, if larger, pond.)</p>
<p>Prep school has been worth it for our family. </p>
<p>We are in a public school district that does not know how to handle “gifted” students. We considered moving, day prep schools and boarding schools. My kids go to a non-competitive, no-name prep school. It has provided challenges academically and has provided a very grounded foundation. </p>
<p>Our public school has kids who are treated like superstars, but so-so SAT scores. They get to college and cannot stay competitive. They lived in a HS bubble that didn’t prepare them for so many other students who are academically inclined.</p>
<p>I don’t expect Prep school to get my kids into Ivys, but I do expect that my kids will be solidly prepared for the level of work. That is worth it all to me.</p>
<p>I agree that small class size is usually a benefit of private schools, though amusingly my older son’s had three tiny classes his senior year. Linear Equations had 5 students, AP Latin had 7 and AP Chemistry had 5. (Though the other section of AP Chem had about 30.)</p>
<p>Our class sizes in the rural school system typically are under 18 (and can be smaller than that). As well, my kids each did several independent studies with faculty and department heads where it was one on one or two on one.</p>
<p>Apologize for horrible memory–but a study several years ago found that teens are more influenced by peers than by any other influence (parents, pastors, teachers, television, whatever). Something to consider in this discussion. Publics and private preps (depending on your local area’s options) will offer different peer groups from which our kids are finding their friends/prime influences. I think this is another issue that makes the decision a hard one to call. And if you are concerned your student may not be an easy fit for the local public’s population (due to interests, or nature) that’s another decision point.</p>