Is Stanford really worth the money?

Not all, @hebegebe. There are countries that provide a post-secondary education to all. It may not be to the most prestigious colleges (but neither do we) or a 4 year college, but it might include a trade school approach which incorporates a post-secondary education beyond what most American trade schools offer, in other words preparing educated young, employable people.

After my own experience, the best answer to OP’s question is it depends on how much the money is worth to you and your family. Therefore, the answer really depends on your individual circumstances. Based on my own experience, I would never “persuade” my kid to attend Stanford over a decent Honors College with a near full-ride merit scholarship though. It’s a different story if your kid really wants to attend Stanford and you have financial means to pay for that opportunity.

$200K salary in Southern CA is equivalent to $70K ~ $100K salary in West VA imo.

I think the best answer to OPs question is absolutely beyond a doubt. My kid got offered a full ride at USC and a few other colleges. They turned it down for the full pay option. The people you meet at Stanford, the Ivies, etc are a once in a life time experience that is not repeatable no matter how much money you make later on in life. Stanford is not a trade school that should be judged by how much money you will make in your future profession. It is an incredible surrealistic experience and if you get in you should go if at all possible