<p>My topic is to write about how an event or experience helped me define one of my values or changed the way I view the world. </p>
<p>I talk about Africa and my experience there, what I have learned from it. Is that risky? Can someone please take a look at my essay? I also need help with cutting down. The word limit is 500 and I'm currently at 590.</p>
<p>Rant*</p>
<p>Where the Mother**** is “Africa”. Imagine the difference between New York and a little town somewhere in the middle of nowhere in Arkansas - let’s call it Little Rock. The difference there is NOTHING compared to the difference between Joburg and say Gweru - 2 places that are only about 1000km apart. I say only because Africa is a ************** large place.</p>
<p>Where in the country of ‘Africa’ were you, what were you doing, why were you doing it, then we can answer your question.</p>
<p>Of course I assume you were doing some charity work with children somewhere and the inequalities really opened your eyes to something and made you a better person and etc blah whatever. Realise that that is an awesome thing to have done - I did something like it in UGANDA (a country in Africa) - and this rant is not directed at that, rather at the continued use of ‘Africa’ as a homogeneous region of orphans and poor black people.</p>
<p>As an African (South Africa, another country in Africa) this annoys me no end…</p>
<p>end*</p>
<p>Why would it be risky? I - despite my apparent anger and ill will towards your experience (which I do not feel I assure you) - would be happy to read it for you… And apologies, but it needed to be said :)</p>
<p>Haha! I from the country Africa you say about!! lol! </p>
<p>But seriously if you believe your experience here had a profound effect on your values (and I mean a genuine effect, not an imaginary one that you think will score you points with admissions) then write away. I will caution you though that it is kind of a cliche topic… You can PM it to me if you want any specific critique. I’m Kenyan btw. </p>
<p>@ Idiosyncra3y I also get really irate when people actually reference the African stereotype of stick-thin aid orphans crying for food. 
Africa is not that one dimensional.</p>
<p>Idiosyncra3y, I have messaged it to you. Your rant made me laugh. Thanks for offering to take a look at it.</p>
<p>
I agree with this advice…and it doesn’t just apply to this topic, it can be any topic.
Quoted for truth</p>
<p>^^ Glad it did… To be honest I really enjoy writing that sort of thing, so thanks for the opportunity 
I saw your post, thought ‘grrrr’, then thought ‘ah ha!’</p>
<p>profit </p>
<p>I hope the edit helps</p>
<p>I’ve already submitted my app. I can take a look too if you want. I’m the editor-in-chief of a national magazine so I’m good with this.</p>
<p>Send it over, I’ll edit it if you require.</p>
<p>You may want to worry that people will read the essay and say “it took him a trip to Africa to realize people live in extreme poverty [or whatever profound thing you learned] when there are problems like this going on right here” Also watch your tone in these types of essays as certain things you may write could come off as offensive to people.</p>
<p>^ hahaha, you read my post :)</p>
<p>Nothing like that to worry about in the essay, though I did get the same first impressions.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for offering to help. I really really appreciate it. I have actually gottten the essay done and submitted thanks to the help of idiosyncra3y and newest newb (different post). Happy New Year!</p>