is there anyone can evaluate my SAT essay?

<p>I am a international student who have spent two years in U.S(But I am in senior year now...)</p>

<p>I got 600 for the May test, because I got 7 on my essay.......
I practiced a lot in these days, but not sure about my score.... I am aiming for 10 for essay</p>

<p>This is the essay what I just wrote(took extra 2 minutes in fact...)</p>

<p>question
Can the daily actions of averagy people have a sinificant impact on the course of history?</p>

<p>The daily actions of average people definitely have significant impact on the course of history. Throughout history, magnificant events always have had its starting point on small actions of ordinary people. There is a story about the French Revolution which support the above thesis.</p>

<p>In the 18th centuy, France was comprised of two previleged classes and the class of commonors. The previleged classes, clergymen and aristocrats comprised of about 400,000 people. This minority ruled over 2,700,000 French citizens and owned more than one third of the estates. Under the reign of Louis XVI, the common people;s right were largely disregared while the aristocrats and clergymen exploited the commoners to create a lot of fortune. The lives of common people were full of misery caused by harsh treatment.</p>

<p>The third estate, representing general public, made it's own assembly when it's oppinions were dissmissed in the Estates General, the assembly made up with representatives of each class. The assembly representing general public became suppressed by the King harshely, and this made Parisians be enraged and start the revolutions by raiding Bastile prison. At the same time, outside the city, peasant farmers attackedlandlord also. </p>

<p>The outcome of revolution was great. The king Louis XVI and his queen Mary Antoniotte were executed. The monarch system became broken down. Later on the age of modern France drew on, which ruled by the common people's need. not by the greed of privileged class. </p>

<p>At the time of the French monarch, the daily life of average peoplewere harsh. They were heavily taxed and exploited greatly by land lords and aristocrats. They became more and more discontent toward the system of France at the time. They started to express their discontentments and thi resulted the coming of modern democratic society, which is a significant change from the fomal society.</p>

<p>The same logic of the power of average people canbe applied to every aspects of history. Throughout the history humanbeings have made great advances by the actions of average people. Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher and pedagonic, once said the following: "when dusts were summed up, a great mountain becomes built" As implied in the quote, small actions made big differences. No great man can achieve feats alone. when common people's actions were summed up greatly, they always make significant impact.</p>