Hi all!
I have been torturing myself with the writing section recently, and I was wondering if you could help.
If you can, please grade this essay below with the prompt provided. Thanks!!
Sat Prompt:
Can the daily actions of everyday people have a significant impact on the course of history? Plan and write an essay……
Response:
There are many factors that can influence the course of history. While there are a myriad of examples of rich men and women influencing history, the daily actions of average people can also affect it. This is true when the basic actions that occur daily to meet the needs for means of subsistence are hindered as seen in the failure of the French monarchy to provide bread for its people and the British crown taxing food products to raise money to repay the scourges of the French and Indian War. Both resulted in the dissatisfaction of the common citizens, and they resulted in revolution.
Towards the end of the 18th century, France found itself in debt. Wars have bankrupted the state, leaving masses hungry. The first and second estate [composed of the nobility and clergy] were able to live comfortably while peasants that composed the third estate were dying of hunger. The French Monarchy was so shamefully ignorant of this that when approached, Marie Antoinette, the French Queen, said, “Let them [the peasants] eat cake!” Thus, the daily action of eating whatever the peasants and common citizenry could procure for food turned into a flame of hatred at the French Monarchy. As known, the common people rebelled against the French Monarchy and overthrew it, making France a republic, and changing the course of history.
Another daily act that allowed ordinary people to transform history was that of the American colonists paying taxes after the French and Indian War. The war was essentially a North-American front for the more extensive Seven Years War in a struggle for colonial power. The British won the war, but paid a heavy price. The country faced bankruptcy. Because it was fought for the “defense of the American colonies,” the British Parliament decided that it was fitting that the colonies should pay. By order of the crown, taxes of various kinds were levied on the colonists. The colonists were forced to start paying taxes on luxury items and food daily. This unprecedented act of taxation without representation of the colonies in parliament fueled anger at the British, and the colonists rebelled, forming the “United States of America.” The simple daily act of paying taxes by the common citizens changed history forever.
The daily acts of eating poorly for survival and paying taxes in luxury goods sowed dissent among French citizens and American colonists. Believing that they deserved better, they rose up in revolution, and changed the course of history forever. The Republic of France and the United States stand as living testimony that daily actions by ordinary citizens can impact history significantly.
however I have a few notes and suggestions if you really want to improve that already stellar score!