Is this Ec Elaboration concise enough?

Colleges and Universities A-Z Columbia University
1

<p>My most meaningful activity...</p>

<p>Track: It has become such a strong part of who I am that when I asked to talk about myself, it is the first thing I mention. I devote most of my time to it because I know that I have the potential to be a great runner and because I love pushing myself against its psychological and mental challenges.</p>

<p>*My school requires a resume sheet in the application so my times and awards (ie. 2nd team all county 4x400, 5th at county's in 400m hurdles) are on there.</p>

<p>*Will Columbia, or other colleges for that matter, hold it against me that my school makes me include a resume? I know that many schools don't want superfluous supplements.</p>

2

<p>Suggested changes are made in caps.</p>

<p>[TRACK HAS] become such a strong part of who I am that when [I’M] asked to talk about myself, it is the first thing I mention. I devote most of my time to it because I know that I have the potential to be a great runner and [THAT] I love pushing myself against [DELETE ‘its’] psychological and mental challenges.</p>

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<p>I may be wrong, but if it’s a school policy to include the resume (i.e. the counselor includes it), I can’t imagine Columbia holding it against you.</p>