<p>Keep in mind that this isn't my essay at all - just a hodgepodge of my thoughts. Excuse the poor grammar/flow/Ect. </p>
<p>I'm thinking of writing my essay on my experience at the Christian church and missionary services as an existential agnostic. I accept that there may perhaps be something metaphysical that dictates and establishes our existence, but it seems futile to try and understand and prove its existence with concrete pedagogy. </p>
<p>.... Yet I love religion. Any religion. More than anything in the world. I love the idea of providing hope to others in an absurd world of hopelessness. My experience at Guatemala made me realize the happiness, sincerity, and passion that is formulated and created through religion. Shed tears, bright faces, its really a beauty. It allows people to escape this putrid and and absurd world and run into a constant sense of protection, humbleness, love, and hope. Religion can truly bring the best out of people. It's come to a point where I choose to help people with their faiths - at the church or out of the country - reaping the rewards of seeing them as happy, content, and ultimately good people. I saw the children from the Guatemala slums mysteriously light up at the mention of a God. Despite the dire circumstances, despite their hunger - they were happy and compassionate So consequently I became happy and compassionate. Helping others with their faith and seeing their transformations really grew me as a person - despite my lack of faith, I no longer saw emotions of compassion and love as a simple human trait, but rather an intricate and beautiful concoction that makes me glad to live in this earth. Whether or not there is a God, I don't really know. Even though I like to call myself an existentialist, It's a question that I am troubled with every single day. </p>
<p>Those were just a few messy ideas.
I don't know... It seems a bit risky, and I know a lot of people will view my ideas as slightly contradictory. I mean, if I don't believe in it, aren't I just telling them "what they want to hear"? If I just write about my experience at Guatemala it'll seem to me like the most cliche essay ever.</p>
<p>While I will say that I have zero experience writing college essays, I think this is a good subject. You sound very passionate about this and I believe that is what colleges are/should be looking for. About the essay sounding contradictory, I am sure you can clear your thoughts through writing if you just organize the essay well.</p>
<p>Focus on what you learned from experience in Guatemala. It won’t be cliche if it’s important to you. Just try to AVOID preaching your religious beliefs. Saying things like “existential agnosticism,” “metaphysical” and “concrete pedagogy” comes off as too preachy and wordy. Not everyone will understand what you’re saying, and you don’t want to spend the rest of your essay trying to define your beliefs.</p>
<p>All I get from that essay is instead of helping people through their problems and improving their lives you are hypnotizing them into believing everything is fine through religion. </p>
<p>At the end of the day you’re saying you think it’s good for people to believe certain things regardless of whether they’re true or not—that is, even if they’re not true—and in my mind that’s a pretty anti-intellectual position to take in a college application essay. It’s an interesting position and you could probably make a decent argument in favor of it if you wanted to, but the Common App doesn’t seem to be a good forum for it. </p>
<p>(I know we’re not really supposed to discuss religion on here, but I want to mention this so you can understand better why this essay might be received badly. On a more personal level this bothers me a lot because I know that the effect of religious teachings can vary a lot depending on the person. At times the idea of hell, along with the idea that I’m being watched all the time, frightens me so much that my life doesn’t seem worth living anymore. It would be sadistic for someone to tell me those things were true if they didn’t actually believe it themselves.)</p>
<p>Although this could possibly work out okay here is why I don’t like it–you are focusing on belief systems rather than things about you. I think there is too much navel gazing in it. These sorts of musings from teenagers aren’t really very interesting. It’s actually not very interesting to hear adults talk about whether god exists or not unless you are Christopher Hitchens. I don’t feel it really indicates what kind of person you are even though I see you are trying to make that a point, it fails for me. It is unconvincing. I find the actual concept you are trying to express condescending and that is very risky to chance coming off as such. I suggest you write an essay that is more down to earth.</p>