<p>Okay, I'm not sure what this means....it's just weird to me.</p>
<p>There was this male who served as a sub for our physics class for a week last school year. While he was here, he was really annoying. He'd always come sit at our table and make weird jokes and make me share my lunch with him and whatnot....then his time as sub for our class was up...but the a few days later he was at my locker like heyyy you got cookies? blahblah....then a month or so later I was walking down the hall and he was all HEYYY blahbnlah watch out for guys blahblah......at the end of the year breakfast he came over and sat with our group again...it was just so odd and uncomfortable</p>
<p>Yesterday, I was sitting with a study group at Barnes, and he had the nerve to ask me what I drove....and babble off all these compliments and ask me if i felt safe at school or needed someone to keep me safe</p>
<p>Idk why it just feels like he's stepping over his boundaries....I have teachers that I'm close to,but this sub's behavior just seemed unorthodox</p>
<p>Anyway, my friend found it really odd also...and she called the police. However, half the school is ticked at me now because they think I just didn't like him and wanted him out of a job. I didn't want to get rid of anyone's job...</p>
<p>What would you have done in this situation?</p>
<p>I'm a parent, and his behavior was inappropriate. You friend was kind to try to help you. What your friend didn't realize, however, was who needed to know was the principal because from what you describe, the person was sexually harassing you, which doesn't count as a crime, but could result in a lawsuit or his being fired for inappropriate behavior. If he loses his job, do NOT blame yourself. He should have known better. If people blame you, those peopel are wrong.</p>
<p>A former employee of mine lost his job for sexually harassing a college freshman who was chaperoning a high school students' trip along with this man, who was in a teaching capacity. They were staying in a hotel, and the man invited her to his room to allegedly tell her something and then asked her to watch TV with him while he was laying on the bed. While there, he started talking about how much he liked her and wanted to touch her.</p>
<p>She was embarassed and left, and then told his boss, who removed the man from his position supervising students.</p>
<p>In case anyone here thinks the girl had been doing something to try to attract that man: No way. The man was old enough to be her father, and was grossly overweight. The girl had a longtime boyfriend. She thought of the man like a father figure. </p>
<p>Believe it or not, however, some adults -- including females -- blamed that girl instead of blaming the man!</p>
<p>A piece of advice: Never go to anyone of the opposite sex's hotel room unless you plan to have sex with them. Even on business trips, there's no reason to do something like that. I knew a dumpy, 50something grandmother who was almost raped by her minister. She was his secretary and was at a church conference when he asked her to come to his room to pick up some church paperwork. When she got there, he threw her on the bed and tried to rape her.</p>
<p>be smart about whatever you do about this substitute. you never know what will happen if it comes down to his word against yours. it's definitely smart to let the school know about this, but talk to your parents too and make sure there are other people who know about the substitute who believe what you say. it's always good to have people on your side in these situations</p>
<p>As a teacher, I would say that he has definately acted inappropriately. Trust your gut feelings. If he has made you feel uncomfortable, then something is not right. Tell your parents and then tell a school official--if not the principal, then a school counselor or a teacher. He should not be working for the schools.</p>
<p>
[quote]
A former employee of mine lost his job for sexually harassing a college freshman who was chaperoning a high school students' trip along with this man, who was in a teaching capacity. They were staying in a hotel, and the man invited her to his room to allegedly tell her something and then asked her to watch TV with him while he was laying on the bed. While there, he started talking about how much he liked her and wanted to touch her.
[/quote]
I'm not sure about american culture, but in my eyes, putting man out of job for doing absolutely nothing is strange. I mean, going this way, we'll soon fire people for staring too long at representatives of opposite sex.
This is crazy but what ever.</p>
<p>Well, I reported him to the admin already...and the police questioned my class....and the others at the study group and him....apparently he DOES have a sketchy background (why didn't the school admin know this?!!)....and my parents are really angry about it...so i'm hoping this incident doesn't occur again and that nobody else has had such an experience with him</p>
<p>Yeah, I'm a girl...but what difference does it make. A teacher should be a teacher, and that's all. I'm a student and he's a teacher for a reason. He needs to find a wife to go home to...I mena it's different when it's a cultural misunderstanding but this was no misunderstanding.....</p>
<p>Mr. Chipset....i know what you're trying to say and I guess it came out wrong? I hope that's what it was...but I don't think he has a right to be doing that. Even if he's just looking too long...is he there to teach or look?</p>
<p>Lol Mr. Pathetic (he asks the kids to call him "Mr. P") is such a loser he's like "do you need someone to protect you?" Yea the guy is clearly some pervert- well, hell HS girls... yeah understandable, not children really, but DAM! He's too stupid to keep his fantasy to himself, so punishment will only help this man.</p>
<p>The majority of people in this country have the false impression that this country is undergoing a "litigation explosion": people are suing left and right, plaintiffs are getting obscene amounts of money, women (like Kobe's gf) are crying rape... and also many people think that sexual harrassment claims are way overblown. First: think of how dumb the average man is, then realize that half of them are DUMBER than that. It's bs, there's such a thing as having a legitimate claim. Unless you've embellished your story here on this forum, i won't lose a wink over this guy's fate.</p>
<p>BTW its not like you got disbarred or something... wow 'horny sub gets fired' isn't headline news. he's a sub. A sub i had played in a rock band as his main job, and did subbing rather than being valet / waiter b/c the pay was better. This guy subbed for calc classes... couldnt' tell ya wat 6 x 8 was...</p>
<p>
[quote]
Mr. Chipset....i know what you're trying to say and I guess it came out wrong? I hope that's what it was...but I don't think he has a right to be doing that. Even if he's just looking too long...is he there to teach or look?
[/quote]
The problem is that any look even if it mistaked can be used against teacher.
You do understand what kind of opportunities are opening for blackmail?</p>
<p>
[quote]
mr_chipset you think that is absolutely nothing?! You're crazy.
[/quote]
As long as teacher wasn't trying to physically harass her, it was absolutely nothing.</p>
<p>lol. you should have ignored his presence from the beginning. some nice people are not good at showing that they do not like your presence. i'm sure calmly saying "Sir. Could you please leave me alone or I will have to report you for sexual harassment?" might done the trick. Well then again, I'm a guy and i dun really know what girls go through. but wow, I got to watch out for my little sister then.</p>
<p>The thing is...he didn't do it to anyone else at our school which is odd....but the school found out that he once lived in the UK and couldn't teach their any longer due to sexual harassment charges...when he came to the US for some reason they didn't record that on his record....</p>
<p>He didn't do anything physically but let's consider something....it was in a LARGE PUBLIC place each time...in a school, in a bookshop...in a parking lot full of people......that'd be stupid on his part</p>
<p>Edit: and the saying something politely thing. I wasn't even sure what it was at first....I also don't wnat to offend people which yes sounds lame and whatnot but since I truly wasn't sure...and idk it's different with adults than it is with just a guy</p>
<p>You don't know that he didn't do anything to anyone else. Others may have either succumbed to his "charms" or are doubting their feelings that there ws something creepy about what he was doing.</p>
<p>Just because he did it in a public place doesn't mean it was appropriate.</p>
<p>" While he was here, he was really annoying. He'd always come sit at our table and make weird jokes and make me share my lunch with him and whatnot."</p>
<p>Very inappropriate for him to be getting you to share your lunch with him.</p>
<p>....then a month or so later I was walking down the hall and he was all HEYYY blahbnlah watch out for guys blahblah"</p>
<p>Inappropriate comment to you that indicated he thought you are attractive, which is not an appropriate thing for a teacher to indicate.</p>
<p>"Yesterday, I was sitting with a study group at Barnes, and he had the nerve to ask me what I drove....and babble off all these compliments and ask me if i felt safe at school or needed someone to keep me safe."</p>
<p>If he were your age, all of this would come under "flirting," which would be appropriate. However, since he is an adult -- a former teacher of yours at that -- what he is doing is not appropriate.</p>
<p>Trust your gut, too. You feel uncomfortable for a reason. </p>
<p>Also imagine some trusted adult male such as your grandfather, dad or minister. Would such a person treat, for instance, one of your female friends the way that ex teacher has been treating you?</p>
<p>In addition, your ex teacher's remarks and behavior are the type of things that cause people to get fired on their jobs even if they are treating same aged peers like that. Showering people with the type of appearance-based compliments that you describe would be considered sexual harassment if the object of the person's attention were made uncomfortable -- something that many people would feel. Don't think that something is wrong with you for not liking what he's doing.</p>
<p>You might also want to get opinions from other adults by posting in Parents Cafe.</p>