Is/was anyone else disillusioned by their first taste of college?

Student Lounge College Life
61

<p>@Hitman, talk to students who go there if you can. The tour guides are there to sell a product. It’s not that they lie; it’s that they don’t tell you the truth. They just avoid the subjects that would make it look bad. It’s kinda like an Army recruiter. They’re knowledgeable, and they’re not bad people, but they’re not going to outright say “you could get killed.” Their job is to make you want to apply. The best would be to talk to friends who go to a school you’re interested.</p>

<p>And yeah, definitely visit the schools you’re interested in if you can. Although like I said, take the tour guide’s info with a grain of salt. At my old college, they never mentioned anything about how parties are a big part of campus life and that there isn’t much to do outside of party. I took that to mean that they weren’t; instead it meant that it was.</p>

62

<p>Now going for 4.5 years I can say that I haven’t really liked or disliked College. It is somewhere in-between.</p>

<p>Academic-</p>

<p>Freshman Year: Classes are the easiest for most majors. The overabundance of free time is why the students do so many things that are counter-productive to academic learning. I had a video game addiction Freshman Year but it didn’t affect my GPA.</p>

<p>Sophomore Year: Class got harder. Started to realize I could study.</p>

<p>Junior Year: Started to realize that I was good at studying.</p>

<p>Senior Year: Was studying every night. Enjoyed studying(Could never say this in high school).</p>

<p>Social-</p>

<p>Freshman year- A lot of people are either:</p>

<p>A) Drinking, partying, and such. I have an aversion to both alcohol and partying; never got involved.</p>

<p>B) Watching Television, playing video games, and such. Yup; got me.</p>

<p>C) Studying and/or working. Small percentage of students if the student body doesn’t pay for your own education(Over 90% of the members in this forum don’t understand how lucky they actually are).</p>

<p>Sophomore Year-Started working and playing Tennis</p>

<p>Junior Year- Worked and played Tennis.</p>

<p>Senior Year- Worked so much I didn’t really have time for much else.</p>

<p>Going to school full time and working at the same time can be extremely stressful and difficult; but somehow I managed to pull through with still staying sane.</p>

<p>I’m going to study abroad next semester and will try and have “fun.” Don’t know what this “fun” means but at least I won’t be working while on study abroad.</p>

63

<p>@DCHurricane
Why would I go to a four year college, rack up debt like an idiot, just to go into graphic design. Hell, you don’t even need a degree to get into GD.</p>

64

<p>@BillyMays ok then. Good luck.</p>

65

<p>“@ ZFanatic: It is interesting that you note that students at Cornell act very immature and that you hate it there. I knew when I was applying to colleges that I would hate Cornell because I hate cold weather, but I didn’t know a lot of people were unhappy there. But I’m just surprised at your comment on how “anti-intellectual” Cornell seems because it is an Ivy League. It just comes to show that the Ivy League schools are not intellectual gardens of paradise. Anyway, I hope you start to feel happier next semester.”</p>

<p>I wouldn’t call it anti-intellectual, as I’m quite certain that the average “intellectualness,” for lack of a better term, is higher than at many other schools, but there’s something about it that wasn’t what I had expected from an Ivy League school. I’m certainly not one to think a social life consists of political debates that go from midnight to the break of dawn, as I certainly do enjoy a good frat party or two every weekend, but I feel like we have much more of a party school mentality than I had expected. </p>

<p>It’s certainly a unique school; If any of y’all are considering applying, feel free to ask me any questions and I’d be more than happy to give you an unbiased opinion, as I’m kind of indifferent to the school as of right now, lol.</p>

66

<p>Well, Ill try to speak with a hint of wisdom here. I think in anything, when you set the bar high, you will always be let down. always. I am somewhat in the same situation as you. I socially do not fit in, I feel lonely some of the times, I havent made a great group of friends, in fact the kid from high school I got along with well is pushing me away more and more everyday of college., and I wish for something better. But at the same time, I think anyone who is slightly analyzing life at this age, it becomes overwhelming. </p>

<p>I think maybe moving back home will be a good change for you, Im not certain. Ive come to realize its hard to rely on others, or hope to find a great group of friends. In lifes own strange way, it comes to you. When I got to college I really wanted to meet people and find friends. The problem is there are very few people like me. I do not drink, yet im not an overly studious person. My ideal weekend would be going out to the cities, and just having dumb, sober fun. But how many people like going out a lot without getting hammered?? From what I see, not many. </p>

<p>Like you, I do feel a change may help. Im looking out of state. Ive lived in Minnesota all my life, but I want to try something different hopefully for my sophomore year. I understand that going out of state wont work magic, but what the heck, it cant hurt. I cant stand my hometown, Ive lost all my good high school friendships, they are broken in one way or another. And I havent met completely uplifting friends here. What the hell? Im not a chancetaker usually but finding a better program and getting out of state, what could it hurt? </p>

<p>So, I do understand it may be disappointing, but its natural to be let down. I completely understand. I wish college would of been the answer to everything I felt I was missing when I was younger. It trul hasnt been that, but its alright. I try to sta positive and think the day is coming.</p>

67

<p>“The way I see it, I’m paying a lot of money to come to this school. I’m not paying for misery, I’m paying for an education. An education is my top priority and everything else takes a back seat. Friends are nice, but a lack of them isn’t going to bring me down. Who pays tens of thousands of dollars a year to feel lonely, miserable, stressed, and depressed?”</p>

<p>Kind of jealous of your attitude. I can see where you’re coming from, sometimes you just get lucky with making friends unexpectedly. But depression isn’t exactly a choice.</p>

<p>I get how some of you guys feel. I’m kind of not looking forward to winter break (though no homework nagging me, yay!) because my high school buddies will be eager to talk about their first semesters and I get the impression that all of them enjoyed it more than I did. Plus the fact that I attend a more selective and competitive school than pretty much all of them…I feel pressured to say I’m doing just fine too.</p>

<p>Nobody wants to hear complaints, and I feel like I’m just whining when I try to explain that I’m feeling depressed here. Academically I’m doing very well and I’m happy about the increased challenge (hs was bs for me), but haven’t found a passion for a subject yet. Socially I’m super bored. Think I’m missing out in life – hate my roomie, hallmates don’t even say hi anymore, made just one good new friend so far. So blah. At least my grades might allow me a transfer, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s ME and my not-so-perky personality that’s the problem and not my school.</p>

68

<p>My college experience was mixed (I went to Penn/Wharton).</p>

<p>I basically grew up around the same people for most of my life, and so by the time I was a senior in high school, I had amassed a fairly large group of friends. My grades were perfect, I had a bunch of college acceptances to choose between, and I knew what I was doing because I had a plan. No matter how my last semester went down, I’d still be able to attend an Ivy the following year. That kind of guarantee was amazing to me, and I had a lot of fun kicking back with friends.</p>

<p>However, when I actually got to college, things changed. I was not used to making new friends. In high school, the same people were in all my IB classes. This couldn’t be said for my college courses, and so it was hard to keep in consistent contact with people. I went through my freshman year with decent grades, but virtually no friends. It was extremely lonely – I also had to work a lot during the academic year, and so I spent a lot of time by myself.</p>

<p>Things improved socially sophomore year. I moved to a different dorm and managed to meet more people there naturally as a result of being an ITA – I met other ITA’s and quickly found people with shared interests and through them met more people. In the end, I gained a moderate circle of friends, although it didn’t become super tight-knit until maybe junior year. Out of that circle, there are maybe three or four I still talk to almost everyday.</p>

<p>Academically, I did not do nearly as well as I wanted overall. I felt like I never quite adjusted to college life until the very end, and I found it so much harder to focus/study. It was so much different from high school, where I was able to proactively get things done. College was just a big haze for me and I have no idea why my focus went down the drain the way that it did.</p>

<p>It was hard sometimes during holidays back home, because it seemed like all my friends were having a blast, all claiming that college was so much better than high school. And here I was, not really agreeing. Don’t get me wrong: I loved the freedom of college and being able to call your own shots, but the stress of work in addition to class, coupled with the lack of social familiarity, made me unhappy. I also felt like I didn’t fit in financially. In high school, everyone was of a similar class, more or less. But at Penn, I felt like money got in the way sometimes. Friends might want to go on a trip to a beach somewhere for Spring Break, and I would be totally unable to afford such a thing and would be unable to tag along. There was definitely a sort of culture shock for me.</p>

<p>Overall, though, my experience felt a bit isolated, but I can’t say it was necessarily bad. There are a lot of perks to college that I love, and I miss my college friends dearly. I just had different expectations of what college life would be like, and was disappointed when the reality was different. Maybe things would have been more like my vision at a different school – I don’t know. But I’m grateful for the good memories I had regardless.</p>

69

<p>Good for you folks for speaking the truth! Parent here. </p>

<p>One of the things we impressed upon our kids is college is school. It’s not the promised land. The learning comes from living away from home, meeting new ppl (jerks and all, get used to it lol). Some prof’s will be great, some will be awful. Friends take time to make. College will not be perfect!</p>

<p>We actually never pressured our kids to “perform” in high school tho they did well enough, because we knew the dirty little secret - in life, going to a top school has no real correlation with your success or happiness in life afterwards. </p>

<p>Some of the happiest folks I know went to the local state school and got professional degrees that gave them a solid ability to provide for the family. Once you reach your late 20’s and into your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, 70’s etc. (get it? that’s alot more than 4 years) ppl sorta stopped even asking you about your school. It becomes about your family and that comes from your outlook on life. </p>

<p>So many kids are just plain homesick. Sometimes I think they party so hard to cover the homesickness. Some of the kids will tell you they are so happy when oh perhaps half or more of the time they’re in the soup just like you, but maybe they recognize some of the weirdness as positive and interesting - not perfect, but shaking it up can be different from what you expect but ok. Even a not so great experience can be interesting in its own way… a learning.</p>

<p>So…look for the good in whatever you find. Focus on the good. Find the sweet moments - they may be few and far between but they’re there. Smile at someone randomly. It’ll come back to you. Be patient and kind. Try every day to think of someone else instead of yourself and to do something nice for someone else first. It’s no wonder folks snap up the self help books like crazy the moment they leave school … wherever you go, there you are.</p>

<p>And - recognize these things about college:</p>

<p>1) Every term at college is very different - new classes, new teachers, new people, new places. Very different from H.S. where you went to the same building through the same doors for 4 years. You WILL find wonderful ppl and teachers and classes wherever you go if you seek them out. And you’ll find the opposite, guaranteed, also wherever you go.</p>

<p>2) Four years is a very very short time. And yet - think of how much you grew physically and emotionally in H.S. You are still growing and changing just as much. </p>

<p>3) You likely can bloom wherever you’re planted. Even if conditions are not perfect.</p>

<p>4) It’s ok for it not to be perfect even though it’s hella expensive. That’s life! Expensive and not perfect. So. Can you find some good? Biggest lesson of all!!!</p>

70

<p>^Great post. haha I didn’t know parents used “hella”.</p>

71

<p>Relevant or not: University of Maryland @ College Park is so much better a school than Univ. of Santa Clara. I am a Bay area-er, and USC’s reputation, in these parts, is one of provincialism and admissions’ being tuition driven. Why would you have a good time there? </p>

<p>Univ. of Maryland (College Park) has a fine academic reputation, and students seem to like the school.</p>

<p>Just my two cents!</p>

72

<p>I have two kids in college. Both of them didn’t like first semester Freshman year. Hard to meet people and it was all so new and foreign. However, both got used to it mid-second semester, and started to feel more comfortable. My daughter wanted to transfer so she tried, but didn’t get it in. That’s actually for the best, because now she is a sophomore and her school is a great fit. But she panicked Freshman year. Lots of kids do that. </p>

<p>It’s so hard to get into good colleges, as you all know, that many of the fellow students haven’t had much life experience, and aren’t real mature or social. Of course, if they had enjoyed themselves in high school, their grades would have suffered and they wouldn’t have gotten in the good schools! So lots of kids are immature, shy, lack confidence, and it really does take time before that changes—usually within the four years of college. </p>

<p>Remember that there is usually good and bad in every experience. No school is perfect. Young kids are usually pretty adaptable and will after a few months, begin to see the good in where they are. Usually the kids adapt, and end up getting a degree and then deciding what to do next. Usually the undergraduate degree school isn’t as important as choosing your graduate school. </p>

<p>Remember there are really no “good” or “bad” experiences—all experiences change you and you learn to adapt wherever you are. Of course, if you want to transfer, they will still look at your high school grades after only the one year. Sometimes it’s better to put two years in and then you’ll know yourself better, and perhaps really know where you want to transfer, and for the right reasons (like you’ve discovered you want to major in Poli Sci and the school you’re in doesn’t have a great department). Transferring just because it feels strange, and the kids aren’t friendly, isn’t a great reason just because the longer you’re there, the easier it will be to meet people. </p>

<p>As for getting the classes you want…that’s what a lot of schools do to Freshmen—lowest on the totem pole. But the later years, you’ve “earned” the right to take classes, and it gets easier.</p>

73

<p>Sophmore engr major. I personally really like college. My HS exp was crap when I entered sr year. I really liked the people I met when I entered into a pre-frosh summer program. It was AWESOME!! I enetered college with little/no expectations so I’m not too surprised that I was able to make a good time out of it. I do work hard and at times (not gonna lie here) I feel trapped, stressed, and lonely. Being an engr meant I had to work harder then most majors. I’m not big on parties (drinking), body doesn’t take alcohol well, nor do I like being around people who can’t stand up straight. I do like flirting with girls, although with so much school work and my part time job, its sometimes hard to find time to relax with friends and just talk. I’d like to find a better balance next quarter and hopefully enjoy myself for the remainder of my sophmore year.</p>

74

<p>

</p>

<p>I like this quote. People need to stop judging themselves and their experiences so harshly. It’s not a contest to see who can have the “best experience,” whatever that is. Just do what you need to do. Everyone can succeed in at least one category, be it academics, social lives, or whatever, but rarely can anyone have the best of everything. Somethings gotta give, and just think, someone out there is jealous of what you have that they don’t.</p>

75

<p>Don’t let the fact that you are struggling a bit in a the new social and academic situations faze you…it’s part of the college experience. See is as a positive thing, not a negative.</p>

<p>As far as school being harder than high school…well, it’s supposed to be harder than high school. You’re not in 13th grade, you’re in college. </p>

<p>Something to think about: academical-environmentally speaking, college is a lot more homogeneous than a lot of high schools. What I mean is that the students on a campus are more likely to be of a similar level of academic accmplishment and ability than in most high schools. For example, if at a given college, 90% of the matriculants were in the top 10% of their high school class, it has to be understood that 90% of the matriculants cannot be in the top 10% of the college class.</p>

<p>so you may struggle some to keep up in the more competitive environment. But isn’t that why you selected your school in the first place?</p>

<p>As far as the social thing goes, remember just about every first year student is in the same situation. Some students just manage to camoflage their insecurity more successfully. They don’t immediately have a posse of new best friends the minute they land on campus…they just have the ability to make it look like they have a posse of new best friends.</p>

<p>And you know how perception=reality!!! Eventually these kids do become good friends, because they eventually convince themselves that they are…that they are enjoying each other and having a good time. And so a friendship grows.</p>

76

<p>My freshman year was nothing like I hoped for I took this semester off and took courses locally and am transfering to another college in the spring which I hope will provide a better college experience for me. I especially looking forward to college as a fresh start since my hs experience wasnt the greatest because I was sick a lot and needed surgeries and this isolated me from other kids. My college was a selective private school and I was excited to get into it…things were pretty bad when I was randomly put in a study floor I did not ask to be in and none of the kids wanted to go out or even socialize. I couldn’t relate to anyone on my dorm even though I felt like I fit with my college but my school wouldnt let me switch dorms. I was also a recruited athlete and my roommate was on my team and she was an extreme christian who put me down for not having the same morals as her…we did not get a long and then one of my family members died and I had to leave school for a while and then I came back to practice and our mutual friends were being incredibly mean to me especially on our spring training trip. I was eventually allowed to switch dorms and my new roommate never left the room(she was transfering) so I had a hard time meeting the new kids in the dorm through her because they all kept their doors close since the year was over. I felt like I needed a fresh start because all that I went through there was too much but it was not the freshman year I anticipated at all! I am hoping my new college can provide me a better college experience</p>

77

<p>I loved it.</p>

<p>Met AWESOME people and we have a lot of fun together. Academics were challenging but rewarding. Pretty much everything I expected + more.</p>

78

<p>these posts are really great. but, would if you post in the future, would you mind posting where you go to school and your experience?</p>

<p>thanks</p>

79

<p>Overall, I’ve been happy with my first semester of college (for the record, I’m a first year student at Brown.)
Just to be clear, I had a miserable high school experience. The core of the "honors "community was very small- you’d see a mix of the same 30 or 40 people in all of your classes, and because we lived in an area that was semi rural and next to an older neighborhood where 90% of the students had grown up; they were all very similar and knew each other extremely well. I didn’t fit in at all.
I was really desperate to see something different- get out of the bible belt, meet other people who were quirky and interesting. In that way, Brown has been <em>amazing.</em> I’ve kind of succumbed to “hipsterism” and artsiness so it’s a very good fit. People are incredibly talented and kind; It‘s really inspiring. Queers are accepted. I’ve actually found a place where I fit in. I’ve found great, tight friends. For the first time in years, I’m really, really happy. My only problem with Brown has been how surprisingly unintellectual it is, considering the fact that it’s an Ivy (although I do think that could be determined by dorm, and mine is small, with a very “bro” culture that was similar to high school) You can definitely find people to have those 2 am coffee fueled discussions with, but it’s less prevalent than I expected.
Academically, I think your happiness is driven by how well you use shopping period, so that some classes were incredible for me, while others flat out sucked. My grades are generally terrible because of how much socializing I’m doing now in comparison to high school, but I’m beginning to find a balance.</p>

80

<p>Great post on the Tarheel blog about making the most of college, without necessarily drinking… [Tar</a> Heel Blog: A Postscript on Fun](<a href=“http://tarheel-blog.blogspot.com/2009/11/postscript-on-fun.html]Tar”>Tar Heel Blog: A Postscript on Fun)</p>