Is/was anyone else disillusioned by their first taste of college?

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>For anyone who is not finding their first semester to be all that they expected: I highly suggest getting involved in a student organization. I don’t mean just writing your name on some roster of the random save the world club, but picking something you are truly interested in and being involved. </p>

<p>I was not involved in anything my freshman year and like most posts on this thread, I debated going to a school closer to home. At the end of freshman year, I decided to stick it out for another year, mainly because there weren’t any closer schools with my same major. I decided to get involved sophomore year and joined a professional fraternity. Best choice I could have possibly made. Not only have I had leadership experiences to add to my resume, but I have also gained better friendships than anything I ever had in high school. I am now a senior and the last 2.5 years have gone by so quickly compared to freshman year.</p>

<p>In short, reconsider what you are doing. Are you just going to class everyday and nothing else? Four years of college is not just going to classes. It’s about gaining experiences through other avenues: a student organization, a job, research, etc.</p>

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<p>Oh my gosh. Thanks for starting this thread. I honestly haven’t been able to talk about it because I feel like I’m the only one not having a good time at Rice. </p>

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<li><p>Academics. My grades are simply HORRIBLE. If I continue the current trend I will lose the merit scholarship that I got. Not only that, I’ve dropped from 19 to 12 credits. </p></li>
<li><p>Socially. I don’t want to elaborate too much because there are people at Rice/back home who know my username. Anyway, I guess I feel a little constrained by my residential college and group of friends. First of all, I don’t connect very well with my residential college as I had hoped. Recently the thought of transferring has occurred to me, but doing so is social suicide. Secondly, I think I overestimated how “social” I would be. There would be times when I just want to watch TV/chill/study on a Friday/Saturday night and not drink and I would be made to feel (either by myself or others) like such a loser. I love to get irresponsibly drunk and make bade decisions (believe me, I have), but I value grades much more. </p></li>
<li><p>I hate to say this, but I wish I had gone to a school with more prestige. Sometimes I wish I had gotten off the Stanford waitlist, applied to Brown or gone to Cornell instead. I wish people back home respected me for going a school that’s just as good as most Ivies. </p></li>
<li><p>Financially, I’m broke. Long story short, I spent over $2000 first semester. It’s not that my parents won’t be able to financially provide for me, but I hate the fact that I’ve been so irresponsible. I like to have spare cash, too. </p></li>
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<p>Even though I’m not too happy about first semester, I’m determined to get back on track, especially academically, then socially. I need to work on time management. I think if I lock myself in the library weekdays, I’d be able to party hardcore on weekends.</p>

<p>[Note to Rice/back home kids: If you’re reading this and know who I am, please just keep it to yourself. What happens on CC stays on CC. ;)]</p>

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<p>I am not in college yet, but I think I want to adopt a policy similar to this. I feel like if I commit weekdays, and especially time in between classes, to studying, I will be able to justify going out on the weekends. And if I study during free time (and work on my procrastination), hopefully I will be able to have weeknights free for relaxing/reading/working ahead. I don’t want all of my social life to be drinking, but I don’t want to exclude it entirely, either.</p>

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<p>^Yeah, it’s hard to do. Especially when your classes start off slow earlier in the semester and you get into a bad habit of doing nothing.</p>

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<p>And everyone else is probably goofing off, too. I feel like the work ethic of my peers will have some measurable effect on me; it’s only natural.</p>

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<p>@Smart&Blonde my student organization was going to be ROTC. The guys at the ROTC table seemed really cool, and right off the bat we got along well. But oh no, I had too many credits to add Air Science to my schedule.</p>

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<p>That is so true. If you have a choice of dorms, try to find an intermediate between academic-oriented dorms and constant party dorms (unless you really want one over the other). I have definitely seen good students that I met during the first few days turn into complete slackers because their dorm just decides to constantly party and “waste time.” So if you want a dorm like this, know that it comes with some costs. From what I hear, it’s not that easy to just buckle down and go to the library (my dorm is quiet enough during the weekdays that I and most of my dormmates have never needed to, which has definitely been key to my academic success so far). Luckily there are enough people in my dorm that like to go out and party on the weekends or occasionally have things in our dorm. It’s easy a couple nights a week to go to frat houses or the more party dorms. A lot easier than constantly having to go to the library.</p>

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<p>Pretty disappointing. I didn’t feel challenged and the people did not seem mature or smart.</p>

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<p>Hey everyone. I am a high school senior from Southern California. I was very shy in my youth and over the years have become very outgoing. I talk to almost everyone and anyone. I make friends everywhere. At times, I do find my self being a little insecure or outcasted whether due to socioeconomic reasons or race, I definitely am not entirely 100% comfortable with myself, although I appear that way.</p>

<p>My dilemma after reading this thread is how do you choose a school that is right for you? My parents are urging me to apply to Ivy’s which I don’t even think I’ll get into, but even if I do, they just don’t seem like a good fit for me. I want a fun school with decent academics. The only ivy that I can somewhat see my self at is Brown. Not to mention, I’m somewhat afraid to leave home. I think I could handle it, but everyone who I have spoken to thinks moving far away is not the best choice after being so acclimated to Southern California weather. Moreover, I’m afraid of racism if I choose to go to a school outside of California. I’ve never really had to face racism in my life, but on the same note most of my friends are white and I haven’t necessarily been exposed to a wide variety of races. I know its the 21 century, but is racism on college campuses prevalent? I know here even in California I have somewhat been out-casted in some situations for not being white. Most people expect me to be one way and are shocked when I am not the stereotypical black girl they expected me to be. I come from a biracial family (Cuban/ American on the surface), but I appear black. I have become Americanized over the years, but many people just based off appearances judge me. To be honest, race has never been a large problem for me. Very rarely do I think it has ever been an obstacle for me because I choose not to pay attention it, but now as I get older I begin to realize some people are still racist. I feel if I have that much trouble in such an accepting area in California, how exactly will college be? </p>

<p>If all went well, I would end up going well (finances as well as acceptances) I’d end up going to UCLA, USC, Stanford, or Berkley. But I’m afraid if it doesn’t work out, I’ll end up going someplace back East and be an outcast or something due to race, socioeconomic factors etc.</p>

<p>Could anybody help out my dilemma is ultimately choosing a school and understanding college environments? I want a HAPPY college-experience and have always idolized going to college.</p>

<p>(I come from a biracial family in short black/white)</p>

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<p>The east coast is pretty open to minorities actually. </p>

<p>You’re always going to have racists, but frankly if you go to a college that is academically exigent you’ll be fine. Racism is bred from ignorance, and people who to go good schools generally aren’t that ignorant.</p>

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<p>I’m a senior in high school but I thought that being out on your own and away from home for the first time is a large expectation that will at least make your experience good if not great.</p>

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<p>Academically: A lot more challenging than I expected it to be but I welcome it. And the fact that I’m an engineer makes sense too I guess. I’ve enjoyed some of my classes and I’ve loathed others. After my first year, I definitely realized my strengths and weaknesses and what I need to work on.</p>

<p>Socially: It was okay but not the best. My dorm got really cliquey within the first day and I moved in the second day so I didn’t really get to bond with them. They either stayed in their dorms or did their own thing and I did the same. I found my niche through clubs and organizations, and I’ve been happier ever since.</p>

<p>Financially: Oh let’s not even go there. Especially with the UC tuition increases… -_-</p>

<p>Overall: I’ve enjoyed it so far all-around. I just gotta whip myself into shape academically and change some of my study habits and possibly spend more nights at the library. But I’m ready for the next few years.</p>

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<p>I hate the fact that cliques still exist in college. -_- Some people just need to grow up. Thank god it’s not as bad as high schol though.</p>

<p>And I completely agree with you about the financial situation of the UC’s. It seems we’re all financially on the brink.</p>

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<p>@Wowie,</p>

<p>Colleges tend to not be racist places. But, some groups self-segregate. Don’t get discouraged if this happens… although I’m still a high school senior, I’ve found that self-segregation by some doesn’t mean you aren’t welcome elsewhere! Some schools are known for a relative lack of self-segregation - Stanford and Rice come to mind. Similarly, the most common racism in top school is in reaction to Affirmative Action. That is, some students will believe that you only got in because you were a minority, or that you must have been less qualified because you are a minority and were therefore a hooked applicant. I find that’s an awesome opportunity to scope out people you need not hang out with.</p>

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<p>I enjoyed my first semester of college. As someone who didn’t have much parental supervision in high school, and had to take care of himself, it was easy. I didn’t work at all, as it was impossible to find a job the first semester because of the economy at the time, so I had a lot of free time. I didn’t know anyone going in, but talked to some people on my floor, and then talked to some people in class, hung out with those people, met more people, and started making friends. It was a relatively enjoyable semester, with 16 credit hours. Was getting good grades and had plenty of time to hang out with friends.</p>

<p>But I must say that I enjoyed the first semester of my sophomore year much more than my freshman year. I have a 30 hour job, and am taking more credits, but that’s okay, I know how to manage my time, and take care of business. The biggest difference is living in an apartment versus the dorms. I find the apartment much more enjoyable, because while you have roommates, they don’t live in the same room as you, which helps your sleeping immensely imo. In addition, having a living room is great for socialization. Much more fun to hang out in an apartment than in a dorm room. </p>

<p>And of course with the apartment comes more freedom, as you’re not under the eye of the RA’s anymore.</p>

<p>Here is some advice I would say to the freshies and soon to be freshies.</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If someone invites you to do something, go do something. The more friends the better, and you’re not going to make friends by turning down their offers to do something. If you legitimately can’t make it (test the next day, have to work) when saying you can’t go, begin trying to plan something else with said person.</p></li>
<li><p>Get involved in something. That doesn’t mean a club or anything like that. I for example, joined a club my freshman year first semester (too much time…tried to fill it) and didn’t enjoy it at all, and didn’t make any friends from that. But something else I was highly involved in was playing pickup basketball. You end up seeing the same people quite often when you do that, so just talk to those people when you’re done playing, joke with them, whatever, and you’ll start making friends. If you have something good going on like a party, invite them when you see them. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t do homework on Fridays or Saturdays. Just use this as a general rule. Use those two nights/ Saturday day to just enjoy yourself. Be social. You’ll have plenty of time on Sunday to get your homework done. If you say otherwise, you’re just ********ting yourself, taking 30 credit hours, or working 40 hours a week.</p></li>
<li><p>Be open to new experiences. Drugs are one of the common ones in college. So many people on this site, you see saying that they don’t like drinking. I would bet the majority of them have never drinked (or have some story about how they were six and tasted their parent’s alcohol and found it disgusting…). Or they will say, “I just don’t see the appeal in it”. Just try it. Trying something like that once won’t hurt you. If you don’t like it, don’t continue doing it. But you might find that you do like it and continue doing it. You won’t know though if you don’t experience it.</p></li>
<li><p>Always try to have dinner with a group. I no that isn’t always possible. When I have to go into work at a specific time, I might grab dinner at like 4 and not bother anyone. And I left out breakfast (as that’s dependent on other’s sleep times, etc.) and lunch (classes). But pretty much everyone is done with classes by dinner time, so make dinner a good 30-60 minute social time…and even try to hang out after dinner. If you don’t have to like go to work or anything, having dinner at 5:30, and then hanging out from 6-7:30 isn’t going to derail your homework. You still have plenty of time to get your homework done after 8 PM…</p></li>
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<p>Agreed completely with akhman above.</p>

<p>Also, not sure how useful it would be in other colleges but here at Case (or at least on my floor), hanging out in the common room helped a lot.</p>

<p>I’d imagine/hope that whether or not you do this, you’ll get to know the people on your floor better. But if you hang out in the common room, chances are more people will join you and you can get to know them better (this was especially true in the beginning of the year - got to know people quicker and better).</p>

<p>Long story short, those of us who chilled in the common room know eachother quite well and are friends whereas we don’t really know the people from the floor who rarely hung out in the common room.</p>

<p>At the beginning of the year we’d play cards or some **** in the common room but now we mainly just bring our laptops out and just chill in the sofa. We basically do what we could do in our rooms out in the common room. Might sound funny that you’d be on the computer “together” in the common room but honestly it’s not that bad. I suppose by now we already know eachother so we’re not trying to bond or anything like that. But we do it anyways. Someone might be playing music from their laptop while everyone else just surfs the web.</p>

<p>Some people also do easier homework in the common room in the middle of all this. Of course not all homework can be done in that environment - but some of it can.</p>

<p>Point is, make an effort to be around people as much as you can. </p>

<p>I’m not sure if any of that made any sense. I’m a little out of it right now and just sort of rambling on… lol</p>

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<p>^That was how it was in my freshman dorm. Everyone who hung out in the common room knew each other, and didn’t know the other people on the floor, who were never in the common room/lounge.</p>

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<p>I pretty much expect college to be a drasticly worse experience than HS. My highschool experience has been par with Animal House and from what I’ve heard, college is NOT what its portrayed as at all. My brother at UNC has told me all about the truth of alcohol, partying, girls… its all so very different than movies and stuff they show. Though highschool, what more could I ask for. Partying is fun for me because the people I do it with were the same people I went to kindergarten with, everyone has known eachother their wholes lives at my HS. Quite theatricaly, peoples parents go out of town and massive ridiculous parties occur, cops bust them, people run for their lives, whole neighborhoods turn into drunken anarchy, all the girls are goodlooking, getting good grades takes no effort. Its so much fun, and the truth about college is that I’m scared. Losing my car, room, friends, family, so much will become worthless, meaningless, and forgotten. No more sneaking out on warm Carolina summer nights, getting girls just because you can drive, no more lifelong friends that you have deep, meaning conversations with, it will all be lost and I think I speak for a lot to say I’m gonna miss this wild ride called Highschool. At my HS, many people have friends all over ranges of social groups, there aren’t clicks or whatever they’re called, its all so fun. For me, I’ve now been going to school for 13 years with the same 340 people and many I like and am friends with, but even the ones I don’t like, they’re all I know, I don’t feel ready to lose all that.</p>

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<p>To answer the original question, I am “disillusioned,” but i’ve become content.</p>

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<p>Completely agreed with akhman and case13. I basically did those things when I was in college and it helped my experience quite a bit.</p>

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<li>If you have common rooms, use them often if you can. They can be social places – I liked to do my work out in the common room with my laptop because I could both chat with people as well as discuss whatever I was working on with other people who either already took the class or were currently taking it. It was a great way to meet people, and eventually we all just started hanging out in the common room as a sort of routine and from there we were able to plan things together/work/etc. It was so much better than just slaving away in my room. There were kids in my dorm who none of us ever saw or really even knew about until moveout day. I think you miss out on a lot if you’re like that. Find a busy common room (good location/maybe has things to do in the room itself/etc). Usually common rooms with TV’s and/or kitchens are popular spots.</li>
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<p>God I miss college already just thinking about all that. :frowning: I could just walk into my usual common room and there would be people watching TV, playing, talking, working, and cooking. It was great. :P</p>

<ol>
<li>I definitely agree that you should try new things. “Don’t knock it till you try it.” I was never the type to drink or anything in high school, but I saw how it was a lot of fun in college. That being said, be responsible. Don’t be that person that gets so blasted that it leads to really negative consequences. I know of female friends who got so drunk that they wound up having sex with people they didn’t want to have sex with beforehand. I would advise people to learn what their tolerance is in a safe environment early on. Always know what you’re putting into your body and be responsible enough to stop if you need to. It’s fun to let yourself go sometimes, but you need to make sure you aren’t taking it too far.</li>
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<p>Regardless, my point is that college is a short, unique time in your life where you can do things that will be much harder to do later on in life once things settle a bit. If someone invites you to go do something new, do it. If there’s a fun event going on, check it out sometime. Go explore the campus/any nearby cities a bit. The school subsidizes all sorts of things usually, so take advantage of that.</p>

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<li>One thing I realized real quickly is that time management is everything. If you can manage your time correctly, you can do everything. As a procrastinator, I usually found that the stress brought on by last-minute rushing was not worth it. Get your work done early when you can, schedule things out and stick to it. Allocate yourself a study time, and allocate yourself some social time. You’ll typically find that you’ll get things done fairly quickly and will have more free time to allocate. I was amazed at myself when I just sucked it up and got my **** done as soon as I could. If you’re confused about a topic, email the teacher or TA and don’t just sit there idly. Go to office hours. Be proactive.</li>
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