<p>That’s cool. Obviously that’s your perogative to judge people based on their dress, appearance, under whatever conditions seem appropriate to you.</p>
<p>I’ll continue to dress appropriately according to the social norms of my area and acknowldedge that people DO judge me based on my appearance and personally endeavor to not judge people based on their appearance.</p>
<p>When it comes to clothing it shouldn’t be a distraction. People shouldn’t remember you because you were inappropriately dressed - may it be over or under dressed. When I meet a client, I want my client to remember what I said not what I was wearing. That goes for any situation that I maybe at. This means not to wear PJs out in public, not to wear “a tube top and daisy dukes and stilettos” to a funeral (or any where) or to wear sweats to a PTA meeting. </p>
<p>The original thread was about college students wearing sweats. I think if it is a campus culture and you feel comfortable with it then go ahead. I was just at D2’s school, because of this thread I did pay a bit more attention to what people were wearing and I didn’t notice that many sweats, most kids had jeans and regular shirts. I think if someone were to wear sweats to classes every once in a while, no one would probably notice, but if someone were to wear sweats to classes everyday it would be noticeable.</p>
<p>cromette - why would someone “judge” you if you were dressed appropriately according to the social norms of your area? Did you move to where you lived because they dressed similar to you? Or did you change the way you dressed to fit the social norms?</p>
<p>“cromette - why would someone “judge” you if you were dressed appropriately according to the social norms of your area?”</p>
<p>Well, there were two separate statements there.</p>
<ol>
<li> I will continue to dress appropriately according to the social norms of my area.</li>
<li> I acknowledge that people judge me based on how I dress.</li>
</ol>
<p>To understand the context - you’d have to see the posts addressed to me that came just before. These posts basically said that everyone judges people based on appearance, at least sometimes.</p>
<p>I acknowledge that fact. It’s that simple. It was stated that anyone who doesn’t think so is naiive. True. I was just clarifying that I UNDERSTAND that people will be judged based on what they wear, myself included. It’s just my desire to NOT do that…me personally.</p>
<p>To answer your questions about the area - I’ve always lived in this general area.</p>
<p>If I visit another area - I try to “match” the social norms of that area for the length of my visit, as much as possible.</p>
<p>But you do conform to your area’s social norms, whatever that maybe. Did you just happen to dress like that, or did you decide not to stand out like a sore thumb and offend anyone (or be judged)?</p>
<p>
So you are no different than Pizzagirl in Japan. She is no more pretentious than you are. I guess we are all saying the same thing.</p>
<p>I try to keep my personal choice in dress separate from my judgment of others. That’s all. What I decide to do for myself is not necessarily what I expect out of others. They aren’t me. I don’t know them, I don’t know their personal situation, their life, or the reason for their choices.</p>
<p>That’s all I’m saying.</p>
<p>“But you do conform to your area’s social norms, whatever that maybe. Did you just happen to dress like that, or did you decide not to stand out like a sore thumb and offend anyone (or be judged)?”</p>
<p>No - of course I made dress decisions factoring in on how I KNOW and acknowledge I am likely to be judged. </p>
<p>I live in a very casual area. It’s difficult for me to imagine having to be (in my estimation) much more formal most of the time, since I’ve always lived here.</p>
<p>I REALLY enjoy visiting other areas, and have been to MANY other areas where the expectation is more formal. Honestly, after a lifetime of being comfortable, I don’t think I would be comfortable actually living in one of those places.</p>
<p>“And don’t pretend that none of us do this. If I showed up at a funeral wearing a tube top and daisy dukes and stilettos, you wouldn’t judge me?”</p>
<p>Okay, here’s a personal story to put this debate in a lighter note. When my late father in law died, one of the people that attended his service was a girl he had dated in high school decades ago and was rumored to have carried a torch for him over the years. Now, this was small town southeast Texas, and this very nice lady showed up in a TIGHT fitting white knit dress, lowcut to show ample cleavage, and a white feather boa. Yes, a feather boa. And 4 inch stilletto heels. I have never before or since attended a funeral service where the relatives were mournful, yet couldn’t stop giggling every time they looked over at this lady. To this day, when we recount the funeral, nobody can keep a straight face when the subject of “the stripper” comes up.</p>
<p>Tom,</p>
<p>That’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are! LOLROF</p>
<p>Had to look up feather boa.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>We aren’t talking about FORMALITY, though. There is nothing remotely “formal” about jeans with a cute top and flats compared to sweats. It’s still casual everyday errand-running wear, it’s just more polished. I am really getting tired of the mistaken notion that anything different from sweats is “dressed up” or “formal.”</p>
<p>I took a burlesque dance class earlier this year, for fun and exercise. Clothes definitely made the woman. LOL. That was actually part of the whole point - that in wearing certain pieces of clothing (which were never seen outside the exercise room), you felt a different way about yourself and carried yourself a different way.</p>
<p>“We aren’t talking about FORMALITY, though. There is nothing remotely “formal” about jeans with a cute top and flats compared to sweats. It’s still casual everyday errand-running wear, it’s just more polished. I am really getting tired of the mistaken notion that anything different from sweats is “dressed up” or “formal.””</p>
<p>Jeans, a cute top and flats is more “formal” than sweats. Where I live, nice sweats are normal “about town” attire - to the mall, to the grocery store, to the gas station, to a chain restaurant - no big deal. Very very casual. It’s nice. No one would judge you for wearing your jeans, nice top and cute flats - and no one would judge me for wearing a nice matching sweatsuit with sneakers.</p>
<p>I like it that way. The fact that YOU don’t consider it formal is subjective. Just like the fact that SOME PEOPLE consider sweat suits slobby is subjective. I didn’t say the outfit was “formal” - it’s more formal than sweats, or shorts and t-shirts and flip flops - which are also very common about town clothing where I live.</p>
<p>I obviously live in the most casual place on the planet, because everywhere I went all day, there were both men and women in different types of sweats. Some wore matching jackets, some wore tee shirts, some wore fitted cotton tops, most wore sneakers. I don’t know if they were all “cute” tops, but they were all nicely worn, not at all “sloppy”, and in at least one case, even polished. Yes, really. I think her dressy sandals made it so. </p>
<p>In the end, whatever works for anyone, works for me. I DO think sweats can look ok, even out and about, and clearly, many locals share that thought. I assume seeing such regular flaunting of the “cute sweater, cute flats” rule would make some here uncomfortable. That’s cool. We’d probably be uncomfortable around them.</p>
<p>I think maybe we’re channeling different things when we say sweats. There are undoubtedly casual sweat-type outfits that look polished and stylish, and then there are the kinds of sweats you wear to paint the house in!</p>
<p>I have a question for those that have a lot of people in town that are wearing sweats. Are the majority of your residents in good shape, or are they ranging from slightly overweight to obese? I live in a fat city in a fat state in a fat part of the country. I know that Pizzagirl also has seen her share of Chicago rolls on its residents. I am sure my aversion to super casual dressing has to do with the wearer.</p>
<p>There are people here of all shapes and sizes. All of them wear the same general type of clothing. This would probably be considered a “fat” area. But I just generally dislike the fascination and concern with what everyone looks like. I think most people in my area sort of feel the same way. It’s just not as important as getting the work done and being nice to people…at least for a lot of us.</p>
<p>Re: #878</p>
<p>College campuses do tend to be populated by younger and fitter people with less obesity.</p>