<p>I have no read much of this so I won’t comment or not comment on what is appropriate to go to dinner in. I live in a rural, poor area of the country and it amazes me what people wear these days. </p>
<p>D and boyfriend came to visit us a couple of weeks ago. Her uncle arranged a foursome at his country club for the boyfriend to play golf. I texted D and told her of the tee time and then almost as an aside I told her that he had to wear appropriate clothing. No jeans, collar shirts to play golf. The boyfriend always looks nice so I didn’t think much of it. They had to go shopping. The boyfriend only had board shorts and needed a collared golf shirt.</p>
<p>“We don’t like to go out to eat for the sake of going out to eat. H happens to be an excellent cook, so a restaurant would need to be pretty good for us to go. More often than not those restaurants are upscale because it costs money to make good food (time and ingredients), but we’ll go to Bareburger for good hambergers or various ethnic restaurants, and those places are fairly casual. For our family, eating is an experience. The girls will ask H to recreate some dishes we’ve tried. Very much of bonding experience for us.”</p>
<p>When you go to the more casual places, are jeans okay? I’m just saying…our experience with eating out is quite a bit different than yours - so I’m just trying to get the picture here. USUALLY when we eat out it’s casual. It’s usually a local Mexican, Chinese, or a local chain. Every once in a while we’ll go somewhere really nice. That’s different - then we dress up - it’s meant to be a dressy, special occassion. My husband is a wonderful cook too, he used to own his own restaurant, but he cooks for the family all the time, so on the weekend, we give him a break. We eat out for at least one meal, and I cook the rest of the weekend.</p>
<p>“Our kids’ school didn’t have uniform, but they did have a dress code - no jeans, collar shirt (tucked in), straps must be 3 fingers wide, skirt needed to be few inches below one’s finger, no shorts until it is very hot.”</p>
<p>Funny that SHORTS, sleeveless shirts, and relatively short skirts are okay, but jeans are not! Very different than where I live. The focus here is more on simple modesty, cleanliness and good repair. No holes, we have the same rule about straps, shorts and skirts can be no more than a dollar bill width from the knee. No rule on collars, shirts once were required to be tucked in, but they have relaxed that on a trial basis. What are the requirements in terms of shoes?</p>
<p>Another takeaway I have from this thread, is that I have a renewed appreciation for grocery store checkers. Now that I am aware that some do not respect grocery stores (where checkers work every day), and assume that checkers do not matter in one’s decision about what is appropriate attire, because according to some, they know that NO ONE cares what people wear to the grocery store. I think we should assume that everyone cares, including checkers, about whether people make an effort to look presentable when doing business with them. The checkers I deal with are always well-groomed and courteous with me; why shouldn’t I give them the same treatment? I do.</p>
<p>“Another takeaway I have from this thread, is that I have a renewed appreciation for grocery store checkers. Now that I am aware that some do not respect grocery stores (where checkers work every day), and assume that checkers do not matter in one’s decision about what is appropriate attire, because according to some, they know that NO ONE cares what people wear to the grocery store. I think we should assume that everyone cares, including checkers, about whether people make an effort to look presentable when doing business with them. The checkers I deal with are always well-groomed and courteous with me; why shouldn’t I give them the same treatment? I do.”</p>
<p>Perhaps you should.</p>
<p>The checkers in my particular community may be in black stretch pants and an untucked store T-shirt and an old pair of Walmart tennis shoes, or they may be in khaki cargo shorts with an untucked polo…pretty common. So, a nice set of sweats is pretty socially in line with what they wear in my area. I agree, if in your area checkers are wearing nice jeans, a tucked in shirt with a collar, and loafers - you should probably consider “matching” or exceeding the level of dress whenever possible.</p>
<p>I would try to “match” the level of dress typical for the setting wherever possible. However, just a side note - I don’t typically hold my CLIENT to my company’s dress code. If he comes to a meeting and isn’t wearing a jacket and tie - I figure that’s his prerogative. He’s the client.</p>
<p>Walmart tennis shoes? Why would the brand be notable when determining an equivalent attire? </p>
<p>Meaning, not name-brand or what some people would consider up-scale athletic shoes, but just plain tennis shoes. Could be from anywhere - just not a big name, up-scale shoe. Doesn’t matter to me (since I’m wearing my nice straight leg sweats, a pressed T-shirt, matching jacket for the sweats and Walmart tennis shoes myself), but it might matter to some in determining how appropriate the clerk’s dress is.</p>
<p>People in physical labor jobs get exercise on the job, so there is no additional time and money needed. For whatever reason, physical labor jobs are still seen as lower status, even though some of them may be highly skilled and/or well paid in some cases.</p>
<p>Also, doing exercise need not be expensive in time and money even if your job does not involve physical labor. Commuting under your own power (walk, run, bicycle) doubles up your cardio time on your commuting time, and resistance exercises can be done with your own body weight and minimal equipment. You do not need a $100 per month (or more) gym to exercise.</p>
<p>Quote:
Originally Posted by oldfort
It is people in higher social status who has time and money to exercise. My daughter, a lowly analyst, is working 14-16 hours a day. She wouldn’t have time to exercise. </p>
<p>"People in physical labor jobs get exercise on the job, so there is no additional time and money needed. For whatever reason, physical labor jobs are still seen as lower status, even though some of them may be highly skilled and/or well paid in some cases.</p>
<p>Also, doing exercise need not be expensive in time and money even if your job does not involve physical labor. Commuting under your own power (walk, run, bicycle) doubles up your cardio time on your commuting time, and resistance exercises can be done with your own body weight and minimal equipment. You do not need a $100 per month (or more) gym to exercise."</p>
<p>An analyst is not a person in a physical labor job. There are many people working 16 hour days for relatively low wage AT A DESK! My particular commute to work is 65 miles one way. I don’t think I’ll be walking, running or biking to work.</p>
<p>It’s not that checkers don’t matter, for god’s sake. It’s the checkers would prefer to be treated kindly, and they don’t worry about having to view an eyesore of a person in-gasp-sweatpants. I know. I used to be a checker. I would prefer someone come through my line in a crazy cat lady sweatshirt and be NICE to me, rather than dressed in a neat, clean, cute sweater and treat me like I’m someone she wouldn’t talk to otherwise. I shop at the same three grocery stores and I have checkers who know me by sight now. They ask about my D, we talk about the football game yesterday, or we discuss the weather. I’ve had to run in wearing sweats, I’ve shopped on the way home from work on a day I’ve had to dress up. That doesn’t matter. They are nice to me either way, and I treat them politely.</p>
<p>That has been the whole point of this entire thread-it’s not what you wear, it’s how you ARE. Trust me, checkers don’t get offended by off-brand tee shirts and sloppy sweats. They’re just happy you’re not yelling at them about an increased price or why a coupon can’t be accepted.</p>
<p>Oldfort-wearing slacks to most restaurants here would be unusual. They’d be more likely at upscale places, but even THERE I’ve seen jeans. I’m certain location plays into it.</p>
<p>Also, if you showed up at any one of my family or friends’ homes in slacks instead of jeans, they’d ask where you were headed after the visit, as you, and especially your kids, would be seriously overdressed. Again, I think location plays into it.</p>
<p>And when I said “clients” I guess I should have said, “office meetings with clients”. My S works with clients in his jeans or coveralls because he is in a construction-related industry and clients are meeting him at whatever building site he is at. He needs to wear clunky-steel-toed boots and a hardhat too. Slacks and a sweater or polo shirt wouldn’t last 10 minutes looking nice. IF, on a rare occasion, he has to meet at the home office, he dresses appropriately, but that’s once every few months. THOSE are the people I was referring to. And I’ll make sure to tell him to never approach you if he sees you out on the street in the dirty clothes he has on. Just rest assured that people like him have made sure your building is safe to live in.</p>
<p>Again, what is with the mutual exclusivity being set forth about kind people versus those who look good (and are used as the example of not kind). I have come across plenty of people whose lack of courtesy and kindness match their lack of consideration in choosing attire, to a T.</p>
<p>Bay, I don’t think anyone said they are mutually exclusive. I think the point is, and continues to be that a lot of people focus more on how a person treats others than how a person looks. And they don’t agree so much that how a person looks is a major factor in treating others well. So for these people, at least where they live, wearing sweatpants is just not a big deal. It’s not considered, in their circles to be disrespectful or offensive. It’s different for you, or where you live.</p>
<p>I worked as a store clerk at an upscale store and can honestly say that I did not care what the shoppers wore and I never noticed. I still wouldn’t. </p>
<p>I made a point of checking out the outfits at a morning meeting at school today- out of about 15 moms, 2 had on skirts, a handful had on jeans and the rest wore either workout pants or exercise shorts. The women in skirts work outside the home. The rest of us are stay at home moms. I normally wouldn’t have noticed what anyone wore. The level of dress was not a reflection of fitness (wide variety of sizes) or socio economic status. </p>
<p>Before I read this thread, I was unaware that some people find it offensive when they see others not dressed to their standards. I assume that there are a lot of people like me who are also unaware.</p>
<p>I find it hard to believe that some people are unaware that others may be offended by clothing. This has to be an underbelly of mainstream life.</p>
<p>“I find it hard to believe that some people are unaware that others may be offended by clothing. This has to be an underbelly of mainstream life.”</p>
<p>First of all - many of us have stated that clothing that may be too revealing MIGHT be offensive.</p>
<p>Second, please explain what you mean by “This has to be an underbelly of mainstream life.” I’m not sure I understood what you meant. Can you expand?</p>