<p>absweetmarie,
I am exactly like you, substituting husband for BF :). My point is not that Bay doesn’t have a right to be hurt and offended when seeing people wearing sweats, but that it surprised me to know that she would feel that way. I’m not being snarky. I obviously realize that people have opinions and make judgements when looking at others, but it never occurred to me that the style (or lack of style) would actually hurt someone’s feelings (short of a swastika, kkk hood, etc).</p>
<p>Bay, I don’t think you’re that different from anyone else whose voiced an opinion here. I think what’s different MIGHT be the actual standard of what each individual considers “offensive”.</p>
<p>I concede - I absolutely don’t want to see anyone’s underwear or private areas, and I don’t like swear words on clothing either. I also believe that pajamas are for bedtime! So I don’t really think we’re that far apart. :)</p>
<p>I admire your sensitivity to those around you and believe you when you say that you believe it’s important for you to look nice when you go out, partially out of it just being the right thing to do, and also because you want to show respect to those you encounter.</p>
<p>Clothing should not be a distraction.</p>
<p>Oldfort,</p>
<p>I think it is surprising to some of us who have lived in an area for most or all of our lives where sweats and work clothes are common and accepted in public areas to hear that our everyday clothes are actually considered offensive by some, and yes, that WE are the weird ones, and the others are normal. Yes, I believe most people would recoil at such. If you think about it, you might see where I’m coming from. But you’re right - there’s no problem. What’s normal in one area, is not necessarily in another.</p>
<p>“Is it because people feel insecure unless they think they are in the mainstream, anyone who is different must be bad and strange.”</p>
<p>Some of the words that have been used here and there have definitely been take personally, rightly or wrongly - “raised in a barn”, “slobby”, etc. But again - you’re right, if you’re dressing according to the norm of where you live, these words don’t really apply.</p>
<p>Bay, I am also your fan and supporter. I was raised to believe that how I present myself to the world is how I want to be seen. I was raised to believe that what I am putting on my body matters because it shows the world the choices that I am making. Because I am a larger, beautiful woman I learned long ago that sweats and most jeans do me no favors. I am around teenagers too often to be offended by cleavage, or muffin-tops, but I hope that I have been successful in counseling people that clothing can affect your mood, your posture, your outlook.
My parents were older (pre-Baby Boom) and had been raised poor during the Depression. The care in what they wore was more important because they were terrified of the stigma of poor, dirty trash. Oh how my mom lamented when I purposely put a hole in my jeans! But she understood fashion, particularly that everything that you own should flatter your body. She also taught me that looking good required no more money than looking bad. Bay obviously also believes that what is on the outside is a choice, so I can understand why she is offended when someone chooses to disregard another person’s concerns. It is how I feel when someone lights a cigarette and blows it in my face.</p>
<p>“it never occurred to me that the style (or lack of style) would actually hurt someone’s feelings”</p>
<p>EXACTLY. This is what I’ve been thinking all along. I get that different standards exist in different places, but hurt feelings, or wishing to avoid such, never crossed my mind in 54 years. Along those lines, how a total stranger could hurt feelings via an outfit just isn’t something I can process.</p>
<p>And again, I’m with cromette–“I think it is surprising to some of us who have lived in an area for most or all of our lives where sweats and work clothes are common and accepted in public areas to hear that our everyday clothes are actually considered offensive by some, and yes, that WE are the weird ones, and the others are normal. Yes, I believe most people would recoil at such.”</p>
<p>If it’s normal to be offended by casual sweats, by all means, do not come to Seattle. I will save you the trouble of being offended by people like me, who has worn jeans out to dinner more often than not, and will avoid places where that’s offensive. I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.</p>
<p>Posted by MizzBee: “Bay obviously also believes that what is on the outside is a choice, so I can understand why she is offended when someone chooses to disregard another person’s concerns. It is how I feel when someone lights a cigarette and blows it in my face.”</p>
<p>Many people don’t think of sweats as offensive and so they are not disregarding another person’s concerns. I think it is entirely different than blowing smoke in someone’s face which is clearly rude and a danger to their health.</p>
<p>I live in an area in which I often see people out in sweats. However, the vast majority of my friends and acquaintances do not. I’ve never thought to wonder why. I assume they consider sweats a specialty piece of clothing designed for a particular activity so wearing them as street clothes would be like wearing a swimsuit out to the mall. If I’m working around the house in sweats, I do take the time to change before going out. I’ve never analyzed why. I, personally, do not like to see doctors and nurses out in their scrubs. It is also my opinion that no one looks good in velour, Juicy or otherwise.</p>
<p>mompop-yes, I understand. That’s why I save being offended for concerns like health, safety, meanness, racism, sexism, etc. Clothes? Whatever.</p>
<p>“Many people don’t think of sweats as offensive”. But excessive cleavage, underwear showing etc is offensive to many. And I won’t die if someone smokes in front of me once, but I can question their manners, just as I do when I practically see someone’s hoo-haw when they sit next to me.</p>
<p>I think MOST people are offended by public showing of one’s HOO-HAW.</p>
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<p>I’m with you on the “surprise” part, mompop. I was surprised, too. After surprise came curiosity and contemplation. I don’t think surprise has to come with outrage, defensiveness or indignation. </p>
<p>Mind you, I’m really not pointing to any particular person’s post, just to a general tone in several posts.</p>
<p>Sorry, I see a huge difference between something that can physically harm me (and yes, cigarette smoke causes fairly severe physical symptoms for me) and something that I might find distasteful. Sweats never physically hurt anyone else.</p>
<p>I stand by my comparison FOR ME, as cigarette smoke is just an irritant to me. Bless your heart is on the tip of my tongue whether you are smoking in front of me, picking your nose in public or trying to stuff 200 lbs of juggle into clothing made for someone half that size. </p>
<p>I am just too polite to say anything out loud.</p>
<p>Sorry, but can someone explain to me what a “HOO-HAW” might be???</p>
<p>I agree that this thread has made me think about my clothing choices. I try to look neat and attractive when I go out, but I have not always hit the mark for various reasons. I never thought I actually offended others. I am not defensive, or outraged. I don’t think anyone is outraged, but a little mystified that people are offended by sweats, which are considered a typical outfit in our parts. I can say that I have been shocked by certain outfits: too skimpy, extremely shabby or too over or underdressed for the occasion. Shocked not hurt.
I think this discussion is no different than talking about the election. It may provide food for thought, but most likely, everyone will leave with the same opinion they had at the beginning.</p>
<p>Hoo-haw= vajayjay, ladie or boy parts. Often seen in lose sweats, short skirts or tight leggings a la camel toe.</p>
<p>HarvestMoon: LOL</p>
<p>Got the “ladie or boy parts”, but the rest…?</p>
<p>mompop - I agree. Although I don’t UNDERSTAND why someone would be offended by clothing that covers all the parts, doesn’t have bad words on it and and is clean - I now know that there are some, maybe many who ARE offended by some clothing…so I’ll try to be sensitive to that.</p>