<p>Do many kids really smoke in their rooms? I hate smoking indoors (pot smoke lingers a lot less than cigarette smoke, but it still hangs around a bit) so I always go outside. I have been known to smoke indoors at friends’ houses, but that’s usually in their living rooms or whatever and only with them when I know they usually smoke inside. I was just wondering if many parents knew if their kids smoked inside - that seems kind of trashy to me.</p>
<p>On the not-getting-caught factor, I would think the small noise one might make slipping outside for a few minutes would be less noticeable than the smell of smoke (even sploofs can only do so much) right outside the door.</p>
<p>I personally think that smoking inside is obnoxious (esp pot) because of the smell. When my friends light up (the courteous ones), they just go for a walk on the street like they would if they were smoking a cigarette. Of course, it’s decriminalised in the state where I go to college.</p>
<p>If your son starts exhibiting behaviours of binge drinking or using harder drugs, I’d be more concerned, and I think you’d be more justified in actively confronting it.</p>
<p>Smoking inside without leaving a smell can be accomplished quite easily by using a handy invention called a window :P. I’ve never felt any smell lingers past a few minutes, and when at home, my parents don’t seem to either. I honestly don’t see what the big deal about having weed in ones parents home is as long as you aren’t stinking up the place.</p>
<p>This thread is really misnamed. The OP’s son would seem to be struggling, and it may have nothing to do with marijuana whatsoever. Unless he has extremely poor luck, the three times he has gotten in trouble with his college’s administration likely reflects 10-20x that in actual incidences that could have resulted in the same. And what looks like a very cavalier attitude toward his job would seem to reflect more of the same. </p>
<p>By focusing on the marijuana, (if it pushes him toward increased alcohol use, would that be a desirable result?), some larger issues may not be receiving the attention they deserve. </p>
<p>I would never home-test my own kid unless it was the result of a three-way agreement between my son/daughter, me, and a therapeutic professional who recommended it. And some therapeutic help might be precisely what is needed.</p>
<p>I have seen people perform at the highest abilities while smoking every day. However, I’ve seen just as many let getting (and staying) high be their goal for the day.</p>
<p>Smoking pot has one big disadvantage, it can be hard to stop (but can be done) and its ILLEGAL. Don’t know what field your son wants to work in, but in some all the employers will ask for a drug test. And some will require you submit to random drug testing on the job. So, the path he is heading down isn’t a good one.</p>
<p>I would agree on the drug testing issue if he KNOWS he’s getting tested. That’s silly. If he wants to smoke, he needs a job that will not test him. There are plenty of them out there. If he’s looking for jobs he should be limiting himself to those who do not test. If he needs this job, he shouldn’t be smoking. If he has had this job and it is good and secure, it’s silly to jeopardize that - and this is coming from a heavy drug user. </p>
<p>One should only use drugs if one can use them safely and responsibly (which involves not using them when one would be tested). It is totally possible to use marijuana and many other drugs responsibly, using a similar code that we use with alcohol. There’s a slight added risk because it is illegal (though in my entire life I have never heard of any dealer giving the name of some random person he sold an eighth of weed to up to the police) but part of responsible use would dictate or at least heavily suggest not using drugs in places where enforcement is tough. (In Madison, WI, smoking pot in a private residence has been decriminalized since the 70s :), cops use the same nonenforcement rule they do for underage drinking.)</p>
<p>KMPete, I’ll echo what others have suggested–talk to a professional. You live in Minnesota, where you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting a chem dep counselor. You might try googling “Hazelden” or asking around for a recommendation from a trusted mental health professional.</p>
<p>I’d guess you could talk face to face or on the phone without your son being present initially. You should gain some clarity about what, if anything, to do next. The counselor may want to suggest a chem dep evaluation. Even if the evaluation doesn’t result in a recommendation for treatment, your son may gain some insight that might help him moderate his behavior. I’d hold off on being a cop (ie urine testing etc.) until you talk to a pro. I think that at this point at least, it is best to be an ally, not enforcer.</p>
<p>I’m concerned that your son has had four instances of consequences from using chemicals in the last year–including when you found his weed. I think that is concerning, even for a college student at a party school. </p>
<p>"Finally, even if someone nice acts as cut-out for you, by using pot you are supporting a vast, vastly destructive criminal/terrorist system, one that takes lives and destroys lives daily, far more so than pot use. Kids who use pot should be sentenced to live for a while in Ciudad Juarez, or at least to read Book 4 of Roberto Bolano’s 2666. It’s not a victimless crime . . . " - exactly</p>
<p>Should be Reason No. 1. There are a lot of dead bodies out there, all because drug trafficker terrorize, mutilate and murder for the right to sell pot to your kid. People who buy it subsidize the murders.</p>
<p>Bunch of small almost all white American farmers in Nevada City and Humboldt County and the Olympic Peninsula, and the entire state of Kentucky.</p>
<p>Among the marijuana dispensaries, I don’t think we have one owned or run by non-Caucasians in the entire state. (Wonder if if the same is true in California and Colorado?)</p>
<p>I don’t even recommend getting help for the son at this point since it’s impossible to know what to do in these situations. I think the OP needs help in navigation because there are a number of real flags here that seem to indicate a real change in the young man over the year and an attitude that has already gotten him in trouble and is heading nowhere good, in my opinion. </p>
<p>Some things are just manners for anyone’s house. You don’t smoke ANYTHING in anyone’s home without permission or knowing that is is all right. Even in smoking homes, most people say, “may I?” before lighting up. The same with alcohol, even if it is legal for you. I always, always, always offer to others even in my own house. A bottle of vodka stashed in my bedroom would definitely be a problem sign for me, and really most people, and for minor it is also illegal. </p>
<p>Most jobs that hire young people tend to use a simple urine test that only goes back several days, even for THC which lingers for months. So passing the test does NOT mean he has been clean for any longer than a few days. This often gets kids cocky about passing drug tests until they go for some juicy job that is more thorough and does tests sensitive to drugs taken a month ago and even asks for a hair sample. And then they are eliminated. I’ve seen this with some kids who had offer in hand.</p>
<p>Just to reiterate…POT IS ILLEGAL alcohol is illegal for those under 21. However, if a young person gets arrested for pot that will forever be on their record. Many people still view pot use as a step toward your willingness to do other drugs. It is not PERCEIVED the same as alcohol. That is not to say that alcohol is not dangerous or causes fewer problems than pot. Illegal things do not belong in your parents home. It is disrespectful and puts your parents at risk. It really is that simple.</p>
I haven’t read the entire thread. My son started his first “real” (i.e. decent pay and benefits) job at the end of last year. He had to have a hair and hair follicle drug test. I think his hair had to be at least an inch or maybe an inch and a half long for the test (which would be 3-4 months growth?). The company also required a urine test. And when he showed up at the testing place at 8 in the morning they made him do a breathalyzer as well. He was a bit taken aback by this and commented “would people really show up at 8 a.m. for this testing drunk?”. The response “You’d be surprised”.</p>
I would not rely on any of the tactics in here. My buddy tried something like this, and they detected it after three weeks. He was a regular user. If you anticipate a test like this, just stop using the substance as soon as you possibly can.</p>
<p>If you get a sudden test, well, I guess this stuff can’t hurt. Best to avoid use long before you anticipate a job search.</p>
<p>For the record, I’m not trying to help him pass his drug test. He’s on his own with that. (And I know he’s already researched “how to pass a drug test.”) Ultimately, the results will reflect his behavior. He will have to suffer the consequences if he fails.</p>
<p>The test was taken on Friday afternoon…urine only (no hair follicle). We should hear if he’s hired by Tuesday or Wednesday. If he was honest about his usage, he has a good chance of passing. If not…he’ll have no job and no money.</p>
<p>I understand that. My posts are not meant to address your situation specifically. I emphasize the drug test issue because, for most people, even causal users with absolutely no proclivity towards any kind of substance abuse problem, that is probably the primary potential bad consequence from marijuana use. </p>
<p>As others have pointed out, for people with abusive or addictive personalities, any substance or activity can potentially interfere with a successful life. Yes, pot is illegal, and can present legal ramifications. But draconian legal penalties for simple pot possession are becoming increasingly rare. But I know it can happen.</p>
<p>Based on my personal experience I hope and pray my kids never find the need to use any substance. These type of things may have brought minor benefits to my life, which pale in comparison to the problems they caused me over the years in my youth. But that’s just me.</p>
<p>“Just to reiterate…POT IS ILLEGAL alcohol is illegal for those under 21. However, if a young person gets arrested for pot that will forever be on their record.”</p>
<p>That isn’t even remotely true where I live.</p>
<p>Regarding my post with the NRML url–this was in response to the OP’s question regarding testing and how long after use the tested substances could be detected. The (probably dubious) information about circumventing detection came along for the rind with the url.</p>
<p>This may be out of context, but for me, the heart-breaking element of this thread is the undeniable fact that no matter how much we love our children, no matter how much we are good parents, no matter how carefully we have tried to instill in them good values so they’ll make good choices – at some point – they are out of our control, and all you can do is be their advocate and minimize the damage to their life and yours.</p>