It's official: I'm dropping out of high school.

Pre-College Issues Home Schooling and College
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<p>I'm experiencing a major dilemma in my life right now, a crossroads of sorts, one that requires immediate attention. I need some serious help.</p>

<p>It started with my first B. Lame, I know, to react in the way that I did (which is to say, certifiably insane) to such a minuscule problem, but it was the only way I knew how to deal with it. With anything, really. The problem, or more aptly, one of many, was that I had been struggling with a mild case of OCD all my life. The perfectionism (to put it lightly) was something that I had always known was there, but had only ever proved to help me. Well, that was over now, and it - my perfectionism/OCD/whatever you want to call it - laid the path for my depression. I was wobbling (dangerously, I might add) on the line between sanity and insanity.</p>

<p>When I finally toppled over into the land of the insane, I didn't know what to do. Even my AP Psychology class had not prepared me for what I was about to experience firsthand: mental illness and its accompanying stigma. </p>

<p>For the last three months of my sophomore year, depression ruled my life. I'm not talking your run of the mill, my-grandpa-died-so-I'm-sad depression, either. I'm talking can't-get-out-of-bed, hate-myself-and-the-world, alienate-myself-from-all-I-ever-loved depression. The worst kind. The kind I know only too well. </p>

<p>Before that hideous monster of a thing, depression, reared its ugly head, I was doing well. I was the quintessential Harvard applicant (though I was more of a Yalie, myself). Straight-A student, on my way to becoming the editor of both the literary magazine (which I founded, no less) and the school newspaper and captain of the Varsity dance team, a lead in the musical, and a slew of other activities not worth mentioning here. I danced 10 hours per week apart from the dance team, volunteered at homeless shelters, and loved learning about new cultures. I loved learning in general. Actually, I loved life in general. (That might be a bit of an overstatement. I appreciated life, certainly, which is just as, if not more, important, I now realize.)</p>

<p>Completely demotivated, I lay in bed for three months pondering life's questions and searching for answers that were never there. I tried to go to school - really, I did - but it just wasn't working for me. My teachers were incredibly accommodating (especially for a public school) and worked with me over the summer months to earn back the As they said I deserved. (Which, undoubtedly, I didn't, but I didn't tell them that.) I knew I could not go back to that school. </p>

<p>So I moved on to an alternative school. (Talk about stigma.) It went well, and I got As, and I was happy. And that's how it went for a while. Until, again, depression struck. I don't know what it was this time, only that it was worse than before. Then, to make matters worse, I was hospitalized for an intensive surgery that landed me in the hospital for 2 months, where I felt so much better, better than ever before. Now, finally, I was ready again. I was landing on my feet for the first time in one and a half years and was ready to gain back everything I had lost, everything I had worked so hard for over the past 16 years.</p>

<p>I transferred to my third high school (for my second junior year) to a rigorous college prep school, the most rigorous and structured of any school. This was it, I thought. This would be my gateway to my dreams, to Good Grades and a Perfect College and a Perfect Job and a Perfect Life. But then, of course - you guessed it - depression struck once again. Like lightning, this time with a vengeance and a vendetta: to never allow me happiness. </p>

<p>I'm dropping out of high school. I'm done. I've tried everything, from psychiatry to psychology to therapy to medicine to even (dare I say it?) hospitalization. I've worked on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and challenging my thoughts and blah blah blah and I'm just so sick of it all. I'm really ready to move on from all this and just die. But since that's not an option, really, I've decided to just move on from high school. </p>

<p>My options, I guess, are wide open right now. I've thought about them, weighed them over, and just cannot come to a clear consensus. Right now, it seems that my best option would be to stay in school (of course) but that doesn't mean it has to be high school, right? I mean, couldn't I go on to community college, earn my GED later, and then go on to a 4-year institution? Or should I consider home schooling? That really seems like a good option, but I need some support. I just don't know how to go about it. My parents have basically said that they've given up on me and are completely unwilling to keep trying. I need some support, and since I'm not getting it from my parents, the people who are actually supposed to be supporting me no matter what, I've resorted to eliciting help from strangers on the Internet. I realize that this is a pathetic cry for help, but I'm just so lost. Please, if you have any idea as for what I could do, please help me. I really could use any help you have to offer. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for taking the time to read this/and or comment. You don't know how much I appreciate it! :)</p>

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<p>Did you mean to cross post this? I noticed you posted it in the Parents Forum a few days ago. I don't think you'll get nearly the traffic in this forum.</p>

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<p>Hi Faransaa-</p>

<p>Perhaps on this forum you'd like some ideas about curriculum, resources, etc that someone could use to homeschool themselves?</p>

<p>I'll start. I highly recommend Pennsylvania</a> Homeschoolers AP Online Classes for excellent quality online AP courses. That's a great way to get some traditional transcript oomph!</p>

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<p>Yes, exactly. Thank you, huguenot!</p>

<p>I'd love to know anything and everything there is about home schooling in general.</p>

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<p>This would make a great application essay faransaa =)</p>

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<p>Thanks, Degeneration.</p>

<p>What else is there to know about home schooling? I live in WI, and have researched the guidelines specific to the state, but am still curious: what do I need to do to get into elite/"top" schools as a home schooler?; how many classes is too many?; how do you go about setting up your own curriculum?; what online schools are best for someone in my situation?; how do you graduate from home schooling? </p>

<p>Answers to these and more questions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!</p>

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<p>I find it interesting that you don't mention your peers at all in your essay. Do you have any friends your age? Any other relatives or adults that you interact with other than your parents? I have met home school families that are very social and involved in many activities in the community. Other home schoolers keep to themselves. How do you see this part of your academic program?</p>

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<p>I'm curious as to what my peers have to do with this...I'm actually quite a social person, or at least I used to be, but have recently alienated myself somewhat from my close friends. I admit that peers, and friends, especially, are a useful resource when going through something like this. A few of my closest friends actually came to visit me in the hospital on a regular basis.</p>

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<p>Home schooling is almost as liberal in Wisconsin as it is where we live, in Illinois.
No colleges my kids have been interested in cared about a diploma. If they were, we would have printed out very cool ones on the computer. But nobody cared.
My son went to Dartmouth and my daughter is a second year at Princeton.
Relax on the credentials front.
As to the "social" issues- never came up. If anything, in my experience, people tend to regard you as courageous for choosing your own path.</p>

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<p>Does anyone know of the Laureate School for the Gifted and Talented (Laurel Springs Academy)? Is it prestigious or at least, well-regarded, or not at all? I presume that EPGY (Stanford) is more renowned, but I just want to keep as many options available as possible. On that note, are there any more online schools like this, or are these the only two? Thanks!</p>

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<p>In asking about your peers I was thinking more about your learning style and personality and how that would impact your choice of an academic program. For example, my D is very independent and prefers to study by herself and participate in indvididual activities and competitions. My S is the opposite and only does group/team sports and activities and likes to study around other people. </p>

<p>You sound more like my daughter. She struggled with severe depression in 8th grade and as a result we looked into various school options and also looked at homeschooling. She chose to attend a relatively small (525 student) private high school. The school follows a modular schedule similar to college where you aren't sitting in class all day and you have a lot of freedom to study independently in the library or confer with teachers during your off periods. They also try to meet the needs of each individual student and have a big emphasis on finding the right fit for the students in terms of college. The high school is affiliated with a nearby college and my D is taking three classes at the college this semester in math and physics. My D has been very happy there and a few days ago the counselor was telling me how much she has "blossomed" the last few years. My D doesn't consider herself to be in the popular social crowd but she has a few good friends and that seems to work out well for her. It seems to me like you would be happy in a similar environment. </p>

<p>It sounds like you are considering online classes and won't have much support from your parents. I would have trouble staying motivated in such a situation. You sound very excited and enthusiastic but I am concerned about you being isolated from other people and keeping your motivation up for the long haul. Could you possibly do some combination of online classes and community college? Or could you augment your studies with volunteer work or an internship or some sort of activity out in the community? </p>

<p>I hope this all works out for you. You have a lot of potential and also a lot of great options. Also, you write well which is a big plus.</p>

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<p>To dsultemeier: Thank you for your thoughtful post. Yes, I agree that I am much more like your daughter. (Are you familiar with MBTI? If so, I test consistently as INFJ - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging.) I am reserved and introverted, preferring a small group of close friends to many acquaintances and overall "popularity" (which is, after all, completely ambiguous in meaning). Opposed to - but not judgmental of - partying, I much prefer a calming evening with friends, discussing life and its many elusive questions, to binge drinking. </p>

<p>I learn best through a combination of reading and listening. I do not need "hands-on" experience to master a task; I can do so simply by self-studying the subject matter. My ideal college would be a place that fosters intellectuality both in its faculty and in the students themselves, an environment that encourages learning for its own sake and someplace committed to the success of its students: whatever it takes, the school administrators and faculty are willing to do it in order to see their students succeed. Said reasons imply that I would be happiest at a LAC, particularly a quirky one, where students are unique in their passions and goals. </p>

<p>To ease your concern:
Actually, I'll be attending a community college for the majority of my classes (4 college courses and only 2 home school classes). This, I think, will keep me motivated and grounded in my studies; without some form of interaction, I agree, I think I'd be lost. I'll be doing my 2 home school classes online with private tutors through some sort of accredited "Internet high school." I will also be volunteering and participating in clubs/activities on the community college campus to somehow get involved. (I'm already in the process of starting a literary magazine for the school.)</p>

<p>Is there any other relevant information I should know?</p>

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<p>Hi again--</p>

<p>The first thing to do is to check the websites of some colleges you may be interested in (be sure to include your local state college as a safety) and see what their entrance requirements are. That will tell you what classes you need to do as a minimum.</p>

<p>You also need to have your parents send in a statement of enrollment to comply with Wisconsin law - it doesn't sound hard at all to do. Here's an explanation of the law: WI</a> Home School Law</p>

<p>Next, I highly recommend you contact a local support group. Often they will have activities and events you may really enjoy. Our children participate in band, tackle football, a history club, 4-H and all sorts of things with other homeschoolers. These sites have lists of local support groups, give the closest one a call - they will welcome you! Wisconsin</a> Information WPA:</a> Find Local Homeschoolers A lot of homeschool support groups are Christian-led - don't let that discourage you if you are not religious, though. Very many of them welcome all sorts of homeschoolers.</p>

<p>Then, you need to figure out what exactly you are going to take this year. I recommend a combination - just saw your post, it sounds like that's what you are planning, that way you won't burn out on any one method. </p>

<p>Hope that helps!</p>

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<p>The plan you outlined sounds very good. (Funny but my D is very involved with lit mag also.) My only other concern is that it sounds like in the past you were doing great and then the depression took over. Are there some things you can do this time around for prevention to make sure the severe depression doesn't derail you again? For example, medication or playing a musical instrument or running or something that you have found effective.</p>

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<p>I am currently taking medication and am working with both a psychiatrist and therapist. This, I think, will help tremendously. The reason I fell so far before was that I had no outside help - no medication or outpatient resources - and was working alone on an internal problem. Therefore, I don't foresee any major lapses in the future, only the occasional minor one. </p>

<p>I'm also looking at the following colleges, wondering which ones are the most accepting of home schooled students and/or students with an illness. Of these - Bard, Barnard, Bennington, Brown, Goucher, Hampshire, Kenyon, Oberlin, Sarah Lawrence, Skidmore, Vassar, Wesleyan - which is/are the most receptive to home schooling? Are there others I should consider?</p>

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<p>That sounds really good about your medication and doctors. I don't know about the colleges you mention but someone else can probably help you with those. My D's list started out with LAC's but after we visited a few campuses she decided she wanted a medium-sized school with more CS/Engineering offerings. We did visit Brown but my D was turned off quickly by the students there. I hope everything goes well for you.</p>

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<p>Many colleges have an admission counselor "assigned" (not the right word but I hope you know what I mean) for homeschoolers. As I've looked at college websites so many of them have a page for homeschoolers which only means they've recognized that we are a valid player in college admissions :) Some schools have additional requirements for homeschoolers, I've found they just want to verify your ability to be successful in their (rigorous) curriculum. </p>

<p>You express yourself very well! I would suggest talking to a college near where you live, even if it's not on your current list. It would be convenient and you will likely learn something of value that will help with your chosen schools.</p>

<p>Do you have an adult in your life who can help you navigate the college admissions path? I'm sorry that your parents have said they've given up on you. Don't give up on them - they may turn the corner sometime in the future. I think parents have such high, often unreasonable and unattainable, goals for our children and we view our "success" (whatever that means) as parents in how our children turn out and how the world sees them. Sad but true.</p>

<p>Keep us posted on things, okay?</p>

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<p>I am also wondering if you have taken the SAT. If not it would be helpful to take it as soon as you can (December or January) so you can get some idea of which colleges you might qualify for.</p>

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<p>I've taken the ACT (30) and the PSAT (210). Note: I took these at my worst point, when I was in the deepest depths of my depression, so I can only hope they will improve considerably. (I also realize that these scores are good, despite CC standards, I just think I could do better.) </p>

<p>Lately, because of personal reasons, I've been looking into Beloit. Do any homeschoolers or parents have experience with this LAC? It's nearby (only an hour drive) and looks to be good in what I'm interested in - Creative Writing and International Relations. </p>

<p>Thanks :)</p>

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<p>Does anyone have any more suggestions for me?</p>