I've made a huge mistake...

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of Michigan
1

<p>Disclaimer: This is a long and rambling post. I want everyone to know that most of the things described in this message are my fault. This is more about disillusionment and my stupidity than any actual flaws of UM itself, I'm sure. I am just trying to articulate some things to figure out where to go from here. Please don't take this as me just trying to take down U of M for no reason, as I really want to/was expecting to love being at this school. </p>

<p>I live right by Michigan State. My parents went there, my brother goes there, and just about all of my friends go there too. I always thought that I'd be joining them until around 11th grade when a friend took me to Zingermanns. I had never even been to Ann Arbor, but this trip got me into researching U of M. I fell in love with the campus, the athletic traditions, the academic quality...it became my goal. Every waking moment was consumed with UM. It seemed like a perfect fit. I visited again, fell in love, and applied as a reach, not expecting to get in. Getting in early action was one of the best moments of my life. </p>

<p>I was also admitted to the MSU Honors College as part of James Madison College, the poli-sci program there. I knew it would be tough leaving home, but I loved the city of Ann Arbor and U of M itself. From a personal development standpoint, I knew it would benefit me in the long run to go out of my comfort zone a little bit, so I did. Going against my family's wishes, I wanted to come here, but was worried about going into too much debt to do so. I would have gotten half tuition at MSU, but UM matched that with their grant money. I chose to enroll here.</p>

<p>Well, after looking through Maize colored goggles for the past 1.5 years, it's been a huge letdown so far. I don't hate it necessarily, and there have been some fun times, but I am constantly finding myself wishing that I was at MSU with my family, friends, and people more like me. Where I'm living (Oxford) is just awful. It is not like anything I thought college would be like, where cliques didn't matter, people cared about studying, and everyone was open to meeting new people. </p>

<p>I live in with roommates who are very nice but the complete opposite of me. I am the classic third wheel. Everyone in Oxford seems to spend all their time at frat parties (we're in fraternity row basically) and all my friends (just a few high school friends and some guys I met orientation) live on the other side of campus. It's a huge pain, and I hate it. I try to introduce myself to people and make new friends, but most people just kind of ignore me or we talk for 5 minutes and never see each other again. </p>

<p>I have people to hang out with and everything, but I keep comparing things to how they would be at MSU and I feel like I've made a huge mistake passing up Honors there and JMC. Honestly most of the people I've met and the area I've been around are how I expected things to be at MSU, not here. I hate it. All my friends who are like me have had no trouble meeting lots of people so far and really love it. I really don't. </p>

<p>I am trying to get involved in some clubs to meet people as classes aren't working out. I'm in a few upper level courses due to having AP prereqs and people seem to ignore me even when I say hello. It seems beyond cliqish here. </p>

<p>I feel like I'm losing motivation to do my classwork and that I'm becoming a little depressed. This just isn't the place I thought it was and I'm regretting my decision to come here. I am going to try to ride it out for the year, but that almost seems like the harder thing to do. If I call up MSU now there is a chance they could take me back I could be back in Honors and everything. Otherwise I would just be an even more lost student there regretting my decision.</p>

<p>tl;dr I'm regretting my decision to come here and I'm wishing I was at MSU. I have a nice group of friends but it's small and I'm really not enjoying the setup of the campus here from the food to the buses to Oxford. It all seems really subpar and I feel like I've let my chance at a perfect college experience go. Is this a natural letdown that I caused with unrealistic expectations that I just need to ride out or should I begin getting ready to transfer? </p>

<p>I'm miserable, that's all, and I realize how ridiculous this sounds less than 2 weeks in.</p>

<p>I'm just starting to panic.</p>

2

<p>Oxford sucks. Nothing you can do about that but you’ll have three more years. But I know what you mean I didn’t really feel comfortable here until second semester of last year. I was also regretting a lot of different things and thinking “what if?” but you realize that it’s not the school, it’s you. If you do get involved you are going to meet people. If you try to be more sociable you will meet people. Most of my friends don’t have meal plans since we’re all sophomores or juniors so I was eating alone the other day and just went up to a random group of kids, asked to sit with them, and now I have a new group of people to hang out with. Maybe some people are cliquish, but I’ve found just as many people who are friendly and open to meeting new people. Judging by the fact that you don’t seem to be a social recluse and had plenty of people to hang out with back at state, I think if you just give it time it’ll happen for you. I didn’t really meet my solid group of friends I have now until second semester of last year. I think it’s pretty common for people to have these new-to-college jitters, but you just gotta trust that things will work out. Maybe consider rushing if you’re looking to be find more people to hang out with, or just joining clubs if that’s not your thing.</p>

3

<p>I remember you. You’ve set yourself up for this. You should try to figure out what effort it will take for you to enjoy the opportunity you have in Ann Arbor and compare it to the effort it will take for you to situate yourself at MSU. If being at U-M is not in your heart, I would suggest going home to MSU where you can root for Air Force and not feel guilty about it. You wouldn’t be the first. Fit is important.</p>

4

<p>acunningspecimen:</p>

<p>Hang in there. Many freshmen are experiencing the same feelings you are having right now. Welcome Week was just a blur of random activities and parties that seemed to spill over into last week’s start of classes, with no one having a set schedule or routine. Making good friends takes time! My freshman daughter is from out of state and is in one of the supposedly great dorms on campus, and is struggling to find “real” friends. She didn’t have the safety net of knowing students on campus already, and has had to forge ahead socially on her own. Surprisingly, even the girls she has met from Michigan have expressed similar feelings. In her dorm, no welcome week activities were planned by her floor adviser for the students to meet one another, but one is planned for this weekend (which is two weeks too late, in my opinion). </p>

<p>Have you talked to your hall adviser to see if some kind of social function could be planned for your dorm?</p>

5

<p>Just to confirm, you’ve had less than a week of actual classes, right?
The things you’ve mentioned that are not exciting you are social life and where you’re living. You don’t, however, mention the main reason one would choose UMich over state – the actual quality of the education itself and the resources.</p>

<p>I suppose if the temporary and surface issues are more important to you, you should put in to transfer to Mich State. But I’d be very surprised if you haven’t been able to offset your issues by the time such a transfer would be accepted :wink: – But hey, then you’d have the option to choose!</p>

<p>But you’ll want to watch ‘copout’ comments like this one:

</p>

<p>Because THAT has nothing to do with your environment and EVERYTHING to do with you. So do what you need to be happy but in the mean time, suck it up a little and make the most of your classes!</p>

6

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/michigan-state-university/1390004-transfer-not-transfer.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/michigan-state-university/1390004-transfer-not-transfer.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Sparkeye’s working him over on the Green Board. “There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. … Oh Auntie Em there’s no place like home.”</p>

<p>OP - College confidential is probably not the best place to spend your time. You are going to need to find something to get you’re head out of the doldrums. I would suggest getting away from the frat scene and Oxford if that is not your thing. You should make an effort to find your orientation friends on the other side of campus or do some activity of interest. You could sign up for IM sports (if it is not too late) or a class at CCRB or work on a political campaign (definitely not too late) or find even activities which may be interest. </p>

<p>Perhaps this: Law School Deans’ Panel
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
6:00 PM, 100 Hutchins Hall
Join deans of admission from the University of Chicago, the University of Michigan, and the University of Pennsylvania law schools for a realistic look at how applications are reviewed. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t in the competitive law school admissions process.</p>

<p>Event sponsored by the Career Center, the Newnan LSA Academic Advising Center, Kappa Alpha Pi, Kappa Omega Alpha and the Michigan Pre-Law Society</p>

<p>You clearly came to U-M with a predispostion. It is going to be easy not to like it and you are going to have to make an effort to like it. Otherwise, the maize brick road will take you to the Emerald City.</p>

7

<p>Relax…it’s not even the middle of September. One day at a time. You’ll be fine - have a little faith.</p>

8

<p>You are experiencing what about half of incoming freshmen experience. 9 times out of 10, they get over it and love their school. Give it one full semester, if you are still unhappy, consider transferring to MSU for your 3rd semester.</p>

9

<p>Since everyone on here is giving you the U of M perspective, I feel I should give you the State one. I’m currently in my sophomore year at MSU, and just like you, I feel like I don’t belong where I am. I wanted to go to U of M ever since I was young, but I was deferred, wait-listed, and denied for freshman admission with stats that should have sufficed. Both of my parents went to MSU, and it was my only other affordable option, so reluctantly, I decided to go. All of my friends dispersed as well, so I figured I’d do what seemingly everyone does here, join a fraternity. If you think that U of M is run by Greek life, just wait until you come here. It is insane. I found out that greek life wasn’t at all what I wanted, and I made a bunch of friends who are not into that sort of thing either. </p>

<p>So now I have friends at MSU, and they are a solid group of people to hang out with. However, I am still really unhappy here. That being said, I applied to transfer for the Winter 2013 term at U of M. The reason for doing so is because I really dislike the type of education I am receiving here. I’m not a James Madison major, so I can’t speak for it. (Although, I was very close to picking it as my major as well.) However, in all of my classes that I have taken up to this point (Gen-Ed, Psychology, English, Philosophy, etc.), there has been a re-occuring theme. In almost every class, I feel as though I’m not being challenged, and the kids don’t want to take an active role in their education as they do at a top tier school like U of M. The kids on average (I’m not saying all, but many from what I’ve experienced) care more about partying and having a good time than receiving an education that they can look back on fondly. </p>

<p>I know that was a lot of anti-State talk, but I want you to know that State has a beautiful campus, and the people here are, for the most part, very nice individuals. Being at a school that isn’t the right fit for you can be frustrating, which is why you should go where you feel like you belong. I still think you should give U of M at least one semester. (I gave MSU a year before deciding to transfer.) If you still don’t like it, then transfer to MSU. You should do what ultimately makes you happy since you do only have one college experience. Anyway, best of luck to you, and I hope you figure everything out as I have. :)</p>

10

<p>No, you haven’t made a huge mistake. You’re simply not adjusting to a new situation as easily or quickly as you would like. The grass is greener on the other side mentality is bound to make you miserable. You’ll end up feeling distant from the campus and isolating yourself since in the back of your head you’ll be planning on being at state in a semester or two. Give yourself a chance to get comfortable in Ann Arbor. I transferred from MSU to UofM and while state is a nice place, so is UofM. </p>

<p>Being in a new situation can be tough, but don’t be so quick to fall back on your high school friends for your primary social contacts. Getting involved in a club like you said is a great move! Also, I never had much luck meeting people in class. It’s when you’re in a study group or doing group work for a class that you end up meeting people.</p>

<p>Go on with the school year (one semester is too brief) assuming you’ll be coming back your sophomore year. If at the begining of summer vacation you think you would be happier starting over at MSU than coming back, then think about transferring. Until then, do everything you can to make the best of your situation now. If you do, you’re bound to meet some great people.</p>

11

<p>I think you need to stick with it. Yes, you had unrealistic expectations. Nowhere is gonna be perfect. So little time has passed that you’re possibly not even aware that the real problem is you’re homesick. Why do you want to only befriend those who are exactly like you? That sounds like a great way to miss out on life and the college experience. Many of us knew no one at all when we got here. If you only want a continuation of high school, hanging out with the same old crowd, then go to State. Good luck though when your first career, if you get one, is on the east coast and you run into similar problems. </p>

<p>The food isn’t better at State, the people aren’t more friendly. Btw, I don’t consider classes a great way to make friends. You get a few minutes, you’re competing in a sense, and people are just not themselves. There’s cliques sure, but it sounds like you just want to go to State and become a part of what you’re complaining about. 96% come back their sophomore year, so I think it’s just you need to find some student groups or something. Try to forget about where you could be and focus on making the best of where you are now. Try to keep up with the work too. I mean really, find out what you’re made of at least before giving up.</p>

12

<p>I’m a Junior that lived in Oxford last year and I can definitely say that it doesn’t suck. Yes, there are a lot of loud and annoying sorority/frat students but there was definitely a lot of amazing people that lived there, too. Try going to some events at Oxford. Last year there was a plethora of events, where you could meet people that possibly have the same interests as you. I know that a lot of the same RA’s are there, so I doubt that this has changed at all since last year.
My advice: your experience at Michigan is what you make of it and a positive attitude always helps every situation. If you keep comparing your situation to that of your State friends, you will only keep setting yourself up for disaster. Give it more time. I see that you posted this thread well over a month ago. Hopefully you are feeling better and have adjusted by now :)</p>