I've written my first practice essay. anyone willing to give a sore?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Sometimes in life, we lose. Abraham Lincoln lost numerous congressional elections before he went on to become President of the United States. Henry Ford went bankrupt and lost his ownership in The Detroit Automobile Company before ultimately succeeding with the Ford Motor Company. Michael Jordan's basketball teams endured many heartbreaking playoff losses before becoming World Champions six times over.</p>

<p>Maybe losing in the secret ingredient to success? </p>

<p>Assignment: How do you feel about the idea that losing might be the secret ingredient to success? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Our desire to face an honorable victory rather than a miserable failure is a part of the human nature. However, losing can often be the secret ingredient to success in many aspects of life. There are numerous examples that confirm this belief.</p>

<p>Many people are afraid of losing, not realizing that it is their failures that teach them lessons and enable them to improve. My uncle overcame a very painful experience, when he lost all of his fortune by investigating it to a deceptive organization. He had hoped to make a great fortune and lead his family into a happier and more pleasant direction with it. Thus, it was unbelievably painful for him to realize that he had actually driven his familty into a very difficult situation. From this mistake he had learned to be prudent with making decision. Morever, the extreme poverty that resulted from his mistake allowed him to explore different aspects of life and appreciate what what he has, instead of always aiming to have more and more. This example cleary illuminates the significance of losing and experiencing pain in one's life. </p>

<p>While many people support this point of view of the issue, some may disagree with it. Having to lose at a very crucial moment of one's life can certainly ruin him completely, providing him with bitter consequences. If the story is to end at this point, where the person has lost his hope, passion and goals, losing obviously does not play a significant role in one’s success at all. The key point is to have the ability and the willingness to stand up again, after one as suffered the pain of losing. (couldn't find any example for this paragraph..)</p>

<p>In conclusion, losing serves as the key to success, when combined with the willingness to learn from one's mistakes, and courageously compete again. Thus, it is important to realize that one failure or mistake will not turn around one's life. In fact, it can be the basis of a great success.</p>

<p>Actually the whole stroy about my uncle is my fantasy. I couldnt think of any examples, so i just ramdoly made up one. Do the examples have to be true stories? I didnt know it would be this hard to think of examples that fit the topic. </p>

<p>It would be really nice if anyone is willing to grade my essay & give some feedbacks. Thanks!</p>

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<p>bump bump bump! help me out please!</p>

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<p>Seems around an 8 but i am by no means a grader of Essays. What i did notice was you only had one example, and you kinda veered off your choice in the 3rd paragraph if you talk about how losing is not the key. Good base though, improve some spelling and grammar errors and find another good example and you should be set. best of luck</p>

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Do the examples have to be true stories?

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<p>no, definitely not. there is no penalty for incorrect information.</p>

<p>i agree, its about a 6-8. i got an 8 in june, want to read my essay?</p>

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<p>I would say around 7. If you had written 2~3 examples with the same quality, then I would say 10. Try to make your intro and conclusion more profound, and find some historical/literature examples. Even though making personal examples up is not prohibited, having a concrete real example is incomparable to some story that everyone can improvise.</p>

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<p>Thanks everyone! it usually takes me hours to write a 4~5 paragraph essay. I find it incredibly hard to write a complete essay in 25 mins! My brain is just not designed for that :( Anyways, I'll write more practice essays taking everyone's advice into account. thanks again!</p>

<p>andreaaaaaa YEP! i would very appreciate it!</p>

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<p>heres my essay, its the june heroes topic: Heroes may seem old-fashioned today. Many people are cynical and seem to enjoy discrediting role models more than creating new ones or cherishing those they already have. Some people, moreover, object to the very idea of heroes, arguing that we should not exalt individuals who, after all, are only flesh and blood, just like the rest of us. But we desperately need heroes--to teach us, to captivate us through their words and deeds, to inspire us to greatness.</p>

<p>Heroes can be valuable to society as a whole. They can give people someone to look up to and admire. Heroes can also teach people important lessons and help them to feel better when things in their lives are going poorly.</p>

<p>Charles Lindbergh was a famous pilot in the first half of the twentieth century. Many people, young and old alike, considered him a hero. When the Great Depression hit in 1929, and many people lost almost everything, they could still find pleasure by listening to Charles Lindbergh's adventures on the radio. People could be transported to another world where they could forget their problems because of Lindbergh.</p>

<p>When the Nazis began killing Jews in World War II, Oskar Schindler did not act like other Nazis. He took a heroic stance and saved thousands of Jews from death. Although it would have been easier for him to follow the crowd and exterminate the Jews like other Nazis did, he chose to do the heroic thing and help.</p>

<p>Both Lindbergh and Schindler were considered heroes in their time, and they deserve this title. Each of these men helped humanity in his own way. Because they were praised and remembered as heroes, future generations can study them and learn important values, including compassion and courage. If these men were not regarded as heroes, their important legacy may have been forgotten. Celebrating individuals as heroes allows us to remember and learn from the truly remarkable people who distinguish themselves from others and contribute extensively to humanity.</p>

<p>on the sat paper, it took up about a page and a third.</p>

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<p>Thanks andreaaaaa!</p>

<p>here comes my second (and probably last) practice essay:</p>

<p>It will be very appreciate it if you give a score & point out awkward expressions & additional feedbacks! </p>

<p>Should people make more of an effort to keep some things private? Plan an write and essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoing and examples... blah blah blah....</p>

<p>In the modern society many people consider honesty as an essential factor in relationships. It, in fact, often plays a crucial role in developing relationships in positive directions. Thus, it is important to be able to openly express one's thoughts and feelings. </p>

<p>Whether intentionally, or subconsciously, we tend to evaluate people we meet. This occurring of human nature was not an exception to me, when I first met my friend, Kristina 5 years ago. To me, she appeared as a very nice girl, with a great personality. However, as the time passed on, I started to develop thoughts that are contradictory to my first impression of her. Although she was optimistic about topic concerning other people, she showed a great pessimism when talking about herself, or her family. She complained about numerous things ranging from how disgusting the pasta her mother cooked for her last night was, to how her parents’ divorce ruined her life. At first I appreciated her honesty and courage to share her most serious problems with me. As her best friend, I tried to help her find solutions to her problems, and to encourage her to think more optimistically. However, as time went on, I realized that her pessimism was contagious, changing my perspective of my family. Although I did not want to listen to her stories anymore, I did not express any of my opinions to prevent her feelings from getting hurt. But, soon I realized talking about how horrible her life is, not only hurts me, but also her. It prevented her from developing a more optimistic point of view of her surroundings, and also made her reproach her life even more. Finally, I decided to have a very honest conversation with her. When I first told her how I feel about her behavior and attitude towards life, she seemed very upset. But as our conversation went on, she understood my point of view, and admitted that she should try to change her attitude. Now, many years after this event, I can confidently say that Kristina has become much brighter than she was before, and we have a great time together, talking about many pleasant things rather than discussing about her problems all the time. </p>

<p>As Kristina's honesty and sharing her privacy with me was harmful to both of us, expressing one's thoughts and emotions thoroughly can sometimes have a negative effect. However, more often, honesty is the key to many problems just like it was to the problem Kristina and I had. Thus, hiding one’s emotions is a big hindrance in truly understanding each other and having a positive development in a relationship.</p>

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<p>i forgot the second paragraph of the prompt: Is there a value in celebrating certain individuals as heroes? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

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<p>I've noticed that on some of the sample essays that receive 12s that they might have only 1 example but they expand on it elaborately. I'm wondering if that's a valid opinion or does it hurt to only cite one example?</p>

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<p>hey if you need help overcoming a writers block, i have a suggestion for you. American history.........Independence revolution, cold war, black movement. They always seem to work. Also, books like Great Gatsby always seem to fit too</p>