What would you give this essay?

<p>The CB rubric: How</a> the Essay is Scored</p>

<p>Sometimes in life, we lose. Abraham Lincoln lost numerous congressional elections before he went on to become President of the United States. Henry Ford went bankrupt and lost his ownership in The Detroit Automobile Company before ultimately succeeding with the Ford Motor Company. Michael Jordan’s basketball teams endured many heartbreaking playoff losses before becoming World Champions six times over.
Maybe losing in the secret ingredient to success? </p>

<p>Assignment: How do you feel about the idea that losing might be “the secret ingredient to success”? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Losing is indeed a secret to success. Life is a learning process and failure is ane essential part of it. The lessons learned in failing to accomplish a goal the first time around can be use to make subsequent attempts more successful. I have found this to hold true in my personal experience</p>

<p>In the hit song "Stronger," Kanye West proclaims "that which doesn't kill me can only make me stronger." My experience as a Model United Nations delegate has been a living testament to that. I have always been accustomed to winning: be it a spelling bee, election, basketball game, contest - you name it and I've probably won it. Winning can evoke the most enjoyable emotions but losing can be better in the long run. At my first Model United Nations Conference I was slated to represent Japan. I had done ample research and I felt confident that I would be holding the award for "Best Delegate" at the closing ceremonies. However, things did not go as planned. When it was my turn to state my delegation's position I found myself stuttering on the very words I had written and practiced. It was as if I was viewing myself from outside of my body! When the awards were given at the closing ceremonies my heart sank when I did not hear name called. That day I resolved to become the best Model UN delegate I could be.</p>

<p>With this resolve, I decided to continue my Mode UN journey. I started by listing things I wanted to improve. First and foremost, I knew, I would need to develop my public skills if I hoped to ever own the Best Delegate's gavel. Thus, I outlined a plan: no longer would I sit silently in class and sit out class discussions. I would become extremely participative in each class. Before I knew it, my plan came to fruition. I became more and more comfortable with speaking before a group of people - and my peers commented on the change. The next conference came 3 months after my first. As I had before, I conducted thorough research on my assigned country. However, one thing was different: I now had the ability to present my case before a large group of people. After a long day of debate and discourse I found myself bearing the gavel for "Best Delegate."</p>

<p>Losing has taught me greater lessons than winning ever has. I became a better person, student, and Model UN delegate as a result of losing.</p>

<p>I'm going to try the automated one on collegeboard too. Thanks for helping me out. =)</p>

<p>umm probably a 10. It would have been better if the whole thing wasn't about one personal experience. But you developed it well so its pretty acceptable.</p>

<p>thanks for reviewing...thats what i thought too...i was going to use a second example but time was running out...i'll keep that in mind</p>

<p>I remember reading an entire essay solely on an elaborated personal experience and the essay received a 12. </p>

<p>But I suppose just to play it safe, I would bring in extra support (if time permits).</p>