@thumper1 It honestly does make no sense. When I tried to tell him about these schools, he only cared about where it was located and immediately went off on me. He wouldn’t listen to me long enough to tell him about the FA offered or how prestigious and difficult it was to get into these schools. Even if I try to talk to him about it now, he would tell me that he doesn’t want to hear about it. My mom was more supportive on this, but she says that I have to be the one to talk to my dad. Like I mentioned earlier, my mom basically when to MDC for free, so he probably thinks the same for me (all he says is I’m going to MDC, and it is never mentioned again to him). The school is on rolling admission, but I never applied.
@Publisher I didn’t have a lot a FA forms to have sign. It was only a couple, and I had my mom provide the signatures and materials instead, since they only wanted one parent’s signature.
I honestly believe it is the fact that he believes that I can’t live alone. I have never been able to travel anywhere, and it was basically school, the preschool I volunteer at, church, and home. I never had a chance to be by myself for a while, so I can’t exactly prove that I would be fine. But it would be a great experience if I did go.
I was wondering the same thing about the financial aid paperwork. At some point, your parents had to have been aware that you were applying to these schools. If your dad thought your only choice was the community college, why not tell you that right off the bat?
@flmom26 He actually did tell my siblings and I that this school was just as good as other ones in the country when I was in middle school, but I didn’t actually think he was serious about it until now. He only mentioned college a few times since then. I applied and was accepted to UF, UM, and FSU.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE, if you want to go to Brown or JHU, do so. If you let your family hold you back now they will continue to hold you back the rest of your life. They will get along fine without you and they will be proud of their Ivy league graduate in four years.
I’ve know people who had a lot of regrets in their lives due to family and eventually those regrets turn to resentment and that can destroy those relationships.
@Animegirl2018 ,
Your dad is unreasonable and does not give a darn about anything else but his way, or no way. I have known quite a few parents like your fathers, unfortunately. Talk to your guidance counselor and see if she/he could give you some guidance on what to do. If you really wants to attend JHU, ask for support from your mother and the GC.
It won’t be easy to walk away from your family at 18 when you have never been alone before. You may need to lean on your GC and the teachers who love you and want you to succeed to help you prepare for this big decision.
More importantly, you need your mother to be on your side. One parent to consent or sign any necessary forms may be sufficient. I would love to see you leave for such a wonderful opportunity and be successful.
@thumper1 - Florida tuition/housing costs are probably not a whole lot different than other state schools, in general. And, like most schools in other states, Florida schools do offer merit scholarships to their top applicants.
Florida also has a program for instate residents called Bright Futures that offers a discount on tuition for qualifying instate applicants.
This student probably has Bright Futures so any school in florida would be free tuition, maybe $300/sem for book.
Still, I think she should go to Hopkins. She should check with the schools about what would happen if she couldn’t refile the CSS for the next year. Maybe her mother would help with the FAFSA.
Agree with the suggestion to have a community member, church member, relative talk to the father to explain how big the scholarships to these schools are.
No, room and board are not more expensive. In fact, meal plans aren’t even required at most schools. FSU doesn’t require freshmen to live on campus. I have a friend who had 5 boys. She rented an apartment and I think 3 of them lived in it and never lived in the dorms.
OK but these questions aren’t really germane to what the OP is asking for. The FA package is done for this year so the OP can afford to go to Brown or JHU which is what the OP should do. Next year will the OP will have to do another FA package but its reasonable to assume that colleges have dealt with uncooperative parents before so I doubt this will be an issue and I seriously doubt that the parents will be an issue either once the OP has been there for a year.
@CU123 - no I’m not suggesting that Op take on debt to stay in Florida. But if her dad is so resistant to her going out of state, maybe she could take advantage of Bright Futures and any merit money she was offered to attend a school in Florida.
@twoinanddone - you’re right, many of the schools allow freshmen to live off campus if they want to.
I was just looking at the cost of room/board in other states and the Florida colleges do seem to offer competitive rates. I guess that does make Florida schools a reasonable bargain for instate residents in particular.
I understand the situation is this. Student is a top scholar and able to get tuition/room/board plus paid for, leaving very few out of pocket expenses.
Parents are clueless/unrealistic. OP feels guilty for leaving. Parent suggest community college.
OP- you will be an adult. What your par4nts want you to do does not matter. Do NOT let yourself feel guilty for leaving home. It would be very wrong for you to give up excellent college experiences that seem to be very inexpensive. You need to leave home and that environment. No way should you give up on college next fall and take a gap year- you need to go.
Now is the time to have your parents discuss matters with your HS guidance counselor. With your credentials I’m sure s/he knows you and will be helpful with your parents.
Go to the top school and if finances dictate you certainly will be able to transfer to a more affordable option in the future. Be sure you get an appropriate education- for someone of high caliber this means a good four year college, not the local community one.
Op has been offered a full ride to JH. As a parent, I don’t think that I could stand in the way of an opportunity like that and I don’t really understand why her father is so very insistent upon her going the community college route. He is not articulating his position/concerns well and that is a problem.
To the original poster, please get another adult involved, or talk to the schools. This is either cultural or pathological on your father’s part.
He may be pathologically afraid of the outside world, so to speak, or he may be part of a culture that does not give freedom to women. We cannot tell.
He may also be afraid of you moving beyond your family in less physical ways. Many who leave their communities and go to elite schools, come back changed in substantial (and often wonderful) ways but that puts some psychic distance between them and their parents.
Can you see a counselor to talk about this?
These are extremely selective schools. Congratulations. I just hope you can go!!! Be strong and do it if you can.