I think if you qualify for BF upon HS graduation, you can choose to go to a qualifying FL community college and the transfer into an eligible 4 year university. You can transfer between qualifying FL post secondary institutions. That is my (very) novice understanding of the program.
If she defers her acceptance into UF (maybe spring?), she might be able to take advantage of Bright Futures and use any awarded merit money towards on campus housing. She might(?) be able to take some classes at Miami CC but she should discuss that with UF.
@aquapt - this is our first experience with BF. I know that not all degree programs transfer equally well across all FL institutions. That might have something to do with the hurdles that your friends are experiencing.
The UF site states that scholarships cannot be deferred, but OP should definitely go to the source if this is a consideration. My point about deferring was more toward OP’s stated desire to attend UPenn or JHU. If this is what she wants, and she cannot secure her family’s agreement in the necessary time-frame to go in the fall, then deferring at one of those schools is definitely an option. It sounds like the financial picture at those schools is as good or better, for her, as in the FL public system… so, if this is what she wants, taking the deferral at one of those schools would buy her time rather than letting the opportunity slip away. That was really the thrust of what I meant to say - I didn’t mean to speak with authority about the intricacies of the FL schools and associated scholarships.
I think the OP needs to be prepared to leave home, and not to have much contact with her family for some period of time. It will be difficult, but it will not be permanent. As she progresses in her career, and as her parents and siblings age, she will be able to re-establish a relationship on the basis she wants.
The OP should certainly try her best to get her father to cooperate by gentle means. Logical arguments from her are clearly not the issue. I suspect a school GC will be ignored out of hand. But maybe he would listen to a pastor from his church or some elder or important figure in his community. (And I think those people would be likely to try to help the OP.)
She should also try to see if she can get some flexibility out of the college. This isn't a situation where a parent is trying to avoid paying what he's able to pay for college. Colleges can't do anything to suggest to parents they can get away with that. However, here the college already has concluded that, absent some major change in circumstances, it doesn't expect the parent to be able to pay anything. So the parent isn't getting away with anything; he's just wantonly using his signature to control his child with no legal or moral right to do that.
Ultimately, here's the deal that should be communicated to him one way or another, explicitly or implicitly probably by his wife: He has two choices. He can let his daughter go to the college of her choice, feel proud of her, and she will try to make him proud. He will get a lot of respect in his community from her accomplishments. Or he can undermine her and force her to stay home, in which case she will do everything in her power -- and everything in her power is an awful lot -- to make certain he is publicly shamed. Does he really want to live like that? Does he want his other children to see that?
The OP should make clear MDC is not an option she will accommodate. She is much better off deferring enrollment at JHU or Penn for a year, and getting a job. Moving out if possible. Do not contribute to family expenses. It should not take him a year to decide he is better off if she leaves Miami.
That’s a tough game to play, but the truth is that unless she needs him to pay for college she holds many more cards than he does. His power over her is illusory; it’s only there by her consent. If she stops acknowledging it, it will be gone.
I don’t usually post on college confidential anymore but the OPs original post is one of the saddest I have ever seen. To the OP, I want you to ask yourself something. Let’s say you give in to your parent’s wishes and go to a community college. Look ahead 10 years. Do you think it is possible you will be so filled with resentment at what you think you missed that your relationship with them will be damaged? What if they finally ask you why you are so mad and you tell them. What if they say that it was your choice and if you had really wanted to go you should have gone. How will you feel when you realize they are right? I’ve been there, don’t let them manipulate you into giving this up. You will not get another chance to go to UPenn or Brown or JHU.
How BF used to work was that you had to start to use it within 2 years of HS graduation. You can start using it at any institution in the state and it is easily transferred to any other institution in the state. It used to be good for $103 per credit and the schools can decide how it can be used. At most public schools, the schools allow it to be used as the student likes, so if tuition is covered by something else, the student will get the BF money.
Now the new program pays tuition, fees, and a book stipend (about $7000/yr) for the top award. The lower award is still $77 per credit up to 120 credits.
I think the OP’s parents don’t want her to leave the area. I think she might have more luck talking her father into FAU or FIU. Probably not close enough to commute, but close enough for her to get home often and easily. I think JHU or Brown would be better, but a 4 year school would be better than CC.
A student who has a near zero EFC can’t afford room and board + incidentals. She’ll be stuck after two years at MDC and she can’t afford to go anywhere but JHU, Brown or Penn which offer full rides + ( their COA would include all kids of extra expenses because wealthier kids are used to spending and lower income kids need money to buy coats and boots… so that OP is effectively getting money to study there).
From our experience - if a very selective school accepts you - they want you to attend. It is part of the admission office responsibilities to continue recruiting you (see admitted students days, etc.) until you accept their offer. I think OP should contact admissions at JHU and UPenn and describe her family’s stance to them. Admissions can write letters and emails to the family and also call the father.
Have a respected (by Dad) adult attempt a conversation on your behalf
Let your guidance counselor know what is happening and engage their assistance
Go to Legal Aid in your hometown and ask about emancipation
Call your choice of schools and let them know the steps you have taken and what they might do to help you.
I think your best option is to go to court and file for emancipation BUT let the college know you are doing this and why. They may decide to forego future financial information if all these steps are documented, which will be key.
Best of luck to you. I had to leave home during my senior year and take responsibility for myself. It took three years for my Dad to come around but he’s been a wonderful father since. Hugs.
Emancipation isn’t really the issue. The OP is 18 already, or close to it. Legally, she is or soon will be emancipated. The issue with emancipation is that colleges (understandably) don’t care to let parents off the hook to pay for colleges just because the child is legally an independent adult.
If the OP looks for a lawyer, she should look for one who will help her petition to enjoin her father to provide the necessary information.
That said, @NEPatsGirl is right. The OP may have to break with her family, but life is long. She will have a better, more appropriate relationship with her family the rest of her life after they get over this speed bump. If she is successful in college and at medical school, her father will get over it quickly.
I would categorize emancipation as a last resort. It would cost money and probably inflict great damage on the already fragile relationship. Obviously, OP, your parents want you to stay. They are being selfish. You have been presented with opportunities that should not be passed up. I do hope that you can find another trusted adult to lobby on your behalf. But I think it’s also a great idea to get in touch with the schools and ask how they can help you. I think if you go, if you force your father’s hand, he will eventually come around. At the end of the day, your parents love you and don’t want to lose you. It’s unfortunate that you are being put in this position, but you have to do what is right for your future. It’s your life, you get to call the shots. I think if you approach this with understanding and mercy towards your parents, while advocating for yourself and setting firm boundaries, it will all work out eventually.
There are moments/decisions in life that will change the trajectory of your life. This is one of them. You get one shot to go to these schools for basically free. Hug your parents, tell them that you love them but that you have to take this opportunity. Get a summer job, get a part time job on campus, and go. It’s your life. Sorry if this is harsh but letting your bully of a father decide will be a mistake you will always regret. Good luck…go go go go!
One of my college roommates was a Latina who essentially had to run away from home to go to college. She didn’t go as far as the op is proposing to go but her father was completely against her leaving the house. She had several brothers and her father expected her to quit school, stay home, do laundry and make dinner every night. That was her role as a daughter in the family. Our University supported her. She graduated, got a job and it took several years but she did reestablish a relationship with her father. Her mother secretly supported her the whole time.
But in my state, Emancipation is used by children (and their lawyers, with a social worker) in dealing with physically abusive parents and step-parents, a parent who has forced a child to be a drug courier, or a child with a documented history of neglect. I don’t think a Family Court judge who listens to horrific evidence all day and sees photographs of kids living in squalor, no food, rodents in the hallways, etc. is going to say, “hey, a kid wants to go to JHU and her dad prefers the local community college. OMG, that’s horrible”.
Having one’s parental rights taken away usually involves more than a dispute about higher education.
OP- agree that getting someone your dad trusts and admires involved is a good next step. But tread lightly here. Your goal is NOT to run off in the middle of the night to go to the college of your choice- breaking the ties to your family will likely be much more traumatic than many of the posters here are suggesting.
@JHS Emancipation age depends on the state, there are some states where it is 19 or 20 but I’m not sure where that is.
@blossom I agree that there are fair more severe cases for emancipation but who knows what a family court judge might think about this…I’m pretty familiar with the probate courts here in my county and if a judge realizes this is more about logistics and COA he/she might order something done, if not emancipation. It really can’t hurt to talk to Legal Aid, if nothing else, it will show the college her determination to attend.
I agree with the posters who say GO, just GO. If your Dad comes around and he most likely will, great. But you get one life and, while it will be very difficult to severe the ties if it comes to that, you need to do what is best for you. You are being given an opportunity of a lifetime and that should not be squandered.