<p>Hi everyone,
I was a little disturbed to see that a change in my essay strategy (which I had hoped would boost me from a high score of 10 to 11 or 12) got me an 8 on the essay prompt that I thought I aced. I've rewritten the essay and copied it word-for-word. Can someone inform me of what I did wrong and what I can improve upon in the future?</p>
<p>Prompt: Should people make more decisions on their own and rely less on the advice of experts?</p>
<p>It is pertinent that people make their own decisions and not rely off of the advice of experts. Several exmples from history prove that making our own decisions is more important than the doubtful advice given to us.</p>
<pre><code> The life of extraordinary inventor Nikola Tesla was abundant with examples of success by listening to his own beliefs. When Tesla moved to America, he only had 4 cents in his pocket and was in a desperate need for a job. After a brief encounter with his rival Thomas Edison, Mr. Tesla decided to take on his childhood dream of building a powerplant on Niagra falls. At times the experiment seemed futile, but Tesla kept his head high and focused on the completion of the three turbines. Contra to advice from his investors, Tesla tore up his contract with the electric company he owned. Inevitable, Tesla's choice to destroy the corpulent contract would save the company from bankruptcy and allow for the completion of the three turbines, thus proving the notion that our own decisions are often superior to those of experts.
One must look at the Physicist Albert Einstein to understand the true meaning of following your own voice. In fact, Einstein often took pride in not listening to expert's opinions. He would often throw away the instructions to a science experiment in class to start his own experiment. One of Einstein's teachers, Mr. Weber, once remarked, "He never listens to my instructions." Einsteins favorite teacher responded to Mr. Weber by saying, "Yes, but his motives for doing so are genuine!" Later in Alberts life, his relationship with a colleague, Maric, caused a series of diatribes in his household. His mother would often lament that Einstein would never accomplish anything in he married Maric. However, an unexpected pregnancy caused Einstein to obtain a job at the Swiss Patent Office. It was on the third floor of the patent office where Einstein would write up the theories that he is well-known for. The patent office would also cause Einstein to develop several life-long relationships with several renowned physicists like Mr. Bohr. Einstein's independence would develop in ways that he had never imagined, eventually giving him the courage to ridicule falsified facts about Atoms and their reactions with other particles. As demonstrated by the Physicist Albert Einstein and inventor Nikola Tesla, independence can lead downtrodden individuals to vast amounts of fame and future. After all, where would we be today without the independence of Einstein and Tesla?
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