Are you worrying that his apparent laid-back-ness will:
A. Result in him eventually having a more ordinary job and career that he will be satisfied with, versus an “elite” job and career that you may wish for him, or
B. Result in him eventually having difficult finding and holding any job and career that he will be satisfied with?
I think you are placing far too much stock in just one of hundreds of factors that go into making a career. His job prospects will have more to do with HIM than the college he attends.
Lots of kids from prestige colleges are underemployed. Sometimes, the confidence, people skills, experiences, etc, tops the name brand.
@ucbalumnus I am worried about him having a less “successful” career than HE proclaims to want (he has consistently stated that wants to do well financially, which to him, is better than us). I’m hoping that B doesn’t occur. He has a tremendous amount of talent, which is why, despite not putting in a huge amount of effort toward the latter years of high school, he did pretty well in admissions. We’re really hoping that these early experiences with failure (in the club area) wake him up to the reality of what he needs to do to get what he wants vs what he thinks he needs to do, if that makes sense.
Havenoidea- I know dozens of highly successful professionals who claim to have had slacker type tendencies during HS and college. (and I knew some of them then and indeed- they were). So I think you are putting the cart before the horse here. The most generous philanthropist in my community is a personal injury lawyer from a college nobody has ever heard of and a third tier law school. Has endowed a hospital cancer center, got a library at that law school named for himself, is always the first to pull out the checkbook when an organization needs a spare million or two.
There are lots of ways to do well financially.
But I think you’ve got lots of assumptions going here which can probably be cleared up by some open dialogue. ASK your kid what he wants. ASK how he sees his current path tracking toward his future. Don’t assume. And if he’s in a bit of denial about how much shoe leather, hard work, and effort it would take to be successful once he’s launched- well, that’s why 23 and 24 year old kids don’t run the Pentagon, become CEO’s of Boeing or Merck, or are allowed to run for President.
It’s hard to deal with uncertainty. That’s really what it comes down to. You need to figure out a way to guide him, but support his choices and let his life unfold the way it will.
My daughter took the guaranteed transfer option to ILR after spending her freshman year at a small LAC. While she enjoyed her freshman year at the LAC (and we’d encouraged her to stay if she preferred), she’d decided early on to take the transfer option to ILR. She had a terrific experience at Cornell with some fantastic classes, and graduated with a terrific job in NYC in HR for a large company. Full disclosure, I’m a Cornell grad (but not ILR) so my daughter might have always been inclined to make the switch no matter how much she enjoyed her 1st school.
OP, I get where you’re coming from. It’s really hard to gauge how our kids will do after undergrad. Anecdotally, I have relatives that are brothers who went to the same college. The youngest was like your son and his older brother Type A and Mr. Social. Well, Type A got his business degree and landed a nice paying banking job. Younger brother floundered but ended up with a degree in Biology. Fast forward a few years post grad, and the Type A had a “quarter life crisis” quit his job and traveled the world partying hard. He ran out of money and is now looking for a job to pay his school loan. Younger brother found his footing not in science but in the business world and has moved up the career ladder and is doing very well for himself.
My oldest son, who never had a job before college, did summer internships in different industries. It showed him what he wants (and doesn’t want) from a job after college and geographically where he thinks he’d be happy. I feel his prospects after he graduates will be good due to his summer work experience.
I wouldn’t spend time worrying or being anxious for your son. If the desire is there for the money and lifestyle, he will find a way to reach his goals.
Thing is, if OP is concerned her son is a bit too laid back, just transferring to Cornell doesn’t change that. He likely needs time to assert himself, make a few college mistakes, and learn from them. There is no one timetable for this. Many kids catch fire when they do find their major. Right now, he’s just begun.