<p>I have heard similar comments from my relatives. My standard response has been to agree with them that it probably is stupid, so it is a good thing that it is my money and not theirs.</p>
<p>^ Love that response. I think I will borrow that line.</p>
<p>Fortunately, talking about the cost of college and choices any of us have made relating to funding it has never come up in my family or social circle. I’m glad of it. It is a very personal decision for the family to make, based on resources, values, and other factors that are personal to those involved. We just all smile and nod that our kiddies are going to colleges they are happy with.</p>
<p>I cannot imagine being in the income bracket to be full pay. I don’t think anyone has said anything to DH or me about spending so much for DD’s (mostly unknown) LAC. I think they know she gets FinAid, plus I tell them that her merit aid brought our out of pocket cost to less than our in-state schools, not that the UCs are any type of bargain these days once you figure in exorbitant room and board. I am very, very impressed that OP or anyone else for that matter can afford to be full pay in the $60K/year range w/o loans. If I were in the same income bracket, I would probably make my kid apply to schools with tons of merit aid, but I still don’t think I would have a second home, fancy car and NO $200K wedding. OP’s friend’s DD probably has some sense that her family and OP’s family are in similar income brackets – and that she won’t have the same school choices as OP’s DD, but only due to finances. No doubt that is galling to the girl, esp. as the parents are allowing her to semi-pursue her dream school. </p>
<p>I guess there were benefits to sending my DD to an inner city public HS. The kids attending the elite schools are on full rides and are mostly from such challenging backgrounds that one really wouldn’t want to trade places with them. DD’s private college has a lot of kids who come from 1% families, something I didn’t see at my public university. What they can do and afford is far from what she can, so it’s a challenge.</p>