<p>Alright so having read various thread about the difference between mathematicians/physicists vs engineers etc and how engineers do the practical stuff while math/physics is just theoretical. Heres a joke for you all:</p>
<hr>
<p>mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are milling around bored in a long hallway, when they are approached by a zen master. The zen master proposes a race: He says: "I'll offer eternal harmony to the one who can reach the end of the hallway first."
The three are about to charge off when the zen master finishes:
"There are two rules. First, you must move in turns. Second, on each move you can only travel at most half the remaining distance..."
The mathematician quickly points out: "ha! impossible, Mr. Zen master" and storms off muttering something about not quitting a day job.
The Physicist, likewise, muttering something about the impossibility of the race, stomps off red faced.</p>
<h2>The engineer however, is already on his second move, and can be heard saying something about "close enough for me..." </h2>
<p>The Top 10 Things Electrical Engineering School Didn't Teach </p>
<ol>
<li>There are at least 10 types of capacitors. </li>
<li>Theory tells you how a circuit works, not why it does not work. </li>
<li>Not everything works according to the specs in the databook. </li>
<li>Anything practical you learn will be obsolete before you use it, except the complex math, which you will never use. </li>
<li>Always try to fix the hardware with software. </li>
<li>Engineering is like having an 8 a.m. class and a late afternoon lab every day for the rest of your life. </li>
<li>Overtime pay? What overtime pay? </li>
<li>Managers, not engineers, rule the world. </li>
<li>If you like junk food, caffeine and all-nighters, go into software. </li>
<li>Dilbert is a documentary.</li>
</ol>
<hr>
<p>A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. </p>
<p>The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 2 yards short. </p>
<p>The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, lifts his rifle slightly higher, and shoots. The bullet lands 2 yards long. </p>
<p>An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were all working on a problem late at night smoking a cigarette. They each tossed their cigarettes in their trash cans and fell asleep, and all three woke to find their trash cans on fire.</p>
<p>The engineer did a rough calculation in his mind to gauge how much water would be needed to put his fire out. He put on twice as much just to be sure and then when the fire was out he went back to bed.</p>
<p>The physicist did a quick calculation in his mind, put the exact amount of water on the fire and when it was out he went back to bed.</p>
<p>The mathematician did a calculation in his head to prove the Fire doesn't exist, and went back to bed.</p>
<p>My favorite version involved a chemist, engineer, and a mathematician</p>
<p>the chemist quickly gathers the necessary chemicals in order to create a crude fire extinguisher. In the meantime, his room was heavily damaged by the fire. He goes back to sleep</p>
<p>the fire comes back. engineer runs to the bathroom, fills a trash can with water, and douses the flame. He causes some water damage for using too much water. He goes back to sleep</p>
<p>the fire comes back. the mathematician wakes up, quickly spots the water damage and crude fire extinguisher, proclaims "Ah hah! So a solution exists!", and goes back to sleep</p>
<p>wow...I'm amused.<br>
if you're on facebook, join the group "I wish I were your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves"
yes, they're not as good as the engineer/mathematician/physicist jokes, but there are some funny math ones.</p>