<p>Ifyou don't post a joke you die</p>
<p>Reporter: Rihanna, why are you dating Chris brown again?
Rihanna: beats me</p>
<p>This thread.</p>
<p>A policeman finds a little boy walking down the street alone in the middle of the night.</p>
<p>“Son,” the police officer said. “You can’t be out alone at night. I’m going to have to take you home to your mother.”</p>
<p>The little boy replied, “I don’t want to live with my mommy, she beats me.”</p>
<p>“Well, do you want to live with you father?”</p>
<p>“No, he beats me too.”</p>
<p>“Well, who do you want to live with?” The policeman asked.</p>
<p>The little boy replied, “The Cleveland Cavaliers. They don’t beat anybody.”</p>
<hr>
<p>Two men walk into a bar.</p>
<p>Well, I say two. But this is supposed to be a three-man joke. So they had a couple of beers to wait for the third man.</p>
<p>After a while, a woman walks up and says, “Maybe I can help.”</p>
<p>One man replies: “Sorry, this is a three-man joke. Two men and a woman wouldn’t really work out.”</p>
<p>Then the woman says, “Actually, I am a man. I’m just waiting for a transvestite innuendo routine that hasn’t shown up yet.”</p>
<p>So the men go “Oh, thank you,” and they start the joke.</p>
<p>So: three men walk into a bar.</p>
<p>Well, I say three. One’s actually dressed as a woman, but he’s actually a man underneath, so we’re alright on paper.</p>
<p>So they go into the bar and who should they run into but the man that was supposed to be in the joke in the first place.</p>
<p>The two men go “Where have you been? We’ve been waiting for you for half an hour!”</p>
<p>The late man apologizes: “Sorry I’m late. I was stuck in a shaggy dog story. The guy milked it and I couldn’t get out of it!” Then he sees the woman. “Who’s this woman?”</p>
<p>“She had to fill in for you because you were late!”</p>
<p>And the late man says, “You’re not going to kick me out of the joke are you? I’ve been doing the third man in the three-men-walk-into-a-bar joke for 20 years!”</p>
<p>The two men say, “Yes, we are kicking you out. Now sit down and shut up!”</p>
<p>So the first man goes up to the bar. The late man starts heckling him. He shouts out: “HEARD IT!!”</p>
<p>The first man says “Well of COURSE you’ve heard it! You’ve been doing the joke for 20 years!”</p>
<p>At this point the late man pulls out a gun.</p>
<p>“Alright! I’m hijacking this old routine! I’m taking us on a surrealist ramble!”</p>
<p>The second man says “You idiot! By pulling out that gun, you’ve already taken us on a surrealist ramble! You’re taking us to where we already are! We’re now trapped! We’re in Gibb’s Paradox! We’re in a self-defeating two-dimensional continuum from which we can no longer justify our existence!”</p>
<p>And as they said that, they started to melt away and their words faded into a delicate hanging cadence…</p>
<p>Lolwutidonteven</p>
<p>First one is old. The second one is remarkably unfunny.</p>
<p>Because your contributions were so much better. Oh, wait.</p>
<p>ugh this thread reminds me of a chain mail, it’s boring, useless, and threatening.</p>