<p>I just said goodby to my son as he heads off to college five hours away for his junior year. In some ways this was more difficult than driving him back and setting up his room. This time around, I can't picture him in his room and although I think that I have met his 3 apartment-mates, it was just a brief introduction.</p>
<p>In other ways, it was easier this time. I know that he is at the right school. He was anxious to get back to his friends at school even though he still has several friends here in the city. He had told us at Easter that he didn't want to come home for the summer and two weeks later found a good internship that allowed him to stay on campus. I know what to expect from him in terms of his style of communication. He does not like small talk or really much talk at all on the telephone, but he will almost immediately answer my texts. Now that he has established his independence, he initiates contact more frequently. I was really surprised that he has mentioned 5 or 6 times that he would like his dad and me to come visit soon to see his room and meet his friends. He has found a restaurant that he wants to share with us. I am not worried about the academics. When he first started we had the discussion about maintaining a 3.0 for his merit scholarship. After 4 semesters, he has a very safe cushion so that even a disastrous semester will not truly be a disaster. And, even though I miss him when he is gone, I have found some new activities to keep this retired empty-nester busy.</p>
<p>Putting my thoughts into words helps me to cope with the immediate feelings of sadness.</p>
<p>Thank you for your post. My DD is also embarking on junior year on Saturday. What a big difference from drop-off in August 2010. We are all growing up.</p>
<p>Great post for all the parents who are launching their D/S for the first time. This is not the end, just a new beginning.</p>
<p>On the other side of the fence, I am sad that my junior son will be living at home, as much as I love having him here. He has to because of his health. So celebrate your children’s independence! :)</p>
<p>I am so happy for you, lotsofquests. You deserve a pat on the back! Your S is on his way!</p>
<p>My S is starting his junior year, too, and was home for only a few weeks this summer because he found a job near campus. He said he would probably not be coming home for spring break or next summer. While it is sad for me, it is exciting for him.</p>
<p>MaineLonghorn, I am sorry to hear about your son’s health problems. As much as I miss my son when he is gone, I am so happy that he is in a good place for him.</p>
<p>I could have written your post and am very glad you did. My D is also a junior this year and hopes/expects that this will have been the last summer at home. I’m delighted that she’s in such a great place, glad that she has made such good friends, grateful that she has such opportunities, but a little sad at the same time. This is what we’ve worked and prayed for, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon or in quite this way. Shouldn’t there be a marching band or a Hallmark card or something?</p>
<p>My junior son goes to school about a half hour away, and has had his own apartment since May of his freshman year. He’s been so busy with school and good summer internships that he has spent almost no time at home at all! Maybe a week during Christmas breaks. We talk once a week, at a designated time. He’s independent and largely self-supporting, a maturing young man. It feels like HS was a hundred years ago. I don’t know him nearly as well as I once did, but that’s the natural course of things. I’m proud of who he is becoming.</p>
<p>Thanks so much for this thread. I have a junior son also, and he was home 5 days last summer and 9 days this summer. He’s got a million things going on and so many places to be. Of course, I’m thrilled he’s so bright and capable, but I miss him. I also find myself feeling very nostalgic for the young me that was very much like him. It’s a great time of life, they’re growing and experimenting and so many things seem completely possible. Heck so many things are possible!</p>
<p>I hope you don’t mind the mother of a senior barging in! I put D on a plane last Friday, and as always, I got a little misty as I watched her fly away. It’s too far for me to accompany her for the settling-in process, and it’s probably better for us both if I don’t anyway. </p>
<p>But I must confess that the peace and quiet is nice. DH and I had a date the evening after D left, and it felt natural and comfortable rather than lonely, just the two of us. I guess we’ve become confirmed empty-nesters! We’ve been working very hard on letting go and treating her like the adult that she is, and it’s liberating.</p>
<p>GCmom, our D was on a far-away study abroad last spring, and somehow it helped me to think of it this way: Once she was on the plane, she was out of my reach. There was nothing more I could do to prepare her; no advice to give, no checking on her, no listening to in-the-moment feedback. My job was done. It also helped to remember that she was in the company of responsible adults who have done this before, and with other kids who were serious about their schooling and about the trip. And sure enough, she had a fabulous time and came home safe and sound. :)</p>
<p>Thanks, LasMa, that’s kind of the way I saw it to…there was nothing more I could do. I will be happy when she arrives at her ultimate destination, which won’t be til tomorrow morning, because of multiple flights and a lengthy layover today. She’s on her own, but will be in capable company when she finally arrives.</p>
<p>Ditto, ditto, ditto. He’s leaving tomorrow with a car and has already announced plans to find an internship for next summer, far, far away. It’s not like he’s conversational when he’s here, but we do bond over a couple of TV shows and common interests. I’ll miss him a little.</p>
<p>I am the parent of another college junior. Our son was not home for most of the summer. He came home for 2 weeks and left to work an internship. He moved into his college dorm a couple of weeks ago and we were not there to help him with his move in. School is already in full swing for him, he feels swamped with work, but loves it and refuses to change anything! He is in a great place! </p>
<p>MaineLonghorn, I wish the best for your son. I hope that spending time at home will be just what he needs to get heal and flourish. I hope that even though you are sad, you will also truly enjoy the time he spends at home.</p>
<p>MaineLonghorn, I am thinking about you and wish you the best. Life is full of sadness and trials, as every parent here can attest. It’s all the more difficult when the person on the receiving end is so young and someone we love so much.</p>
<p>Mom of another junior here. We hardly saw her this summer (although my food bill was evidence of her being in-residence!). We had to drive her things to school - she is renting a house with friends - because she is only 19 and cannot rent a u-haul herself. School started Monday and she has already started arranging for an internship for next summer - probably won’t see her much. We have planned a Thanksgiving trip to NYC, and she will crawl over glass to go, but after that sightings will be few and far between.</p>
<p>One more in HS, but she is so busy, we only see her blurr wizzing through the kitchen most days. I am finding it hard to judge just how many to cook for! I think this last year before the final break out of DD2 will be harder than the empty nest phase because it will be so unpredictable with DD2’s schedule. And Dh and I could use some quality together time.</p>