So looks like the stress isn’t academic pressure which is good, kids spend a lot of time in their dorm room studying because typically there’s just a ton of work and that’s sometimes the best place to get stuff done. You’ve gotten a lot of good advice here on counseling, joining clubs, but you have work with him to find out if he’s complaining or you think it could be something deeper. If it’s general complaining, which we all do, then have him finish the year and figure out options (smaller college) durig the summer. Good luck.
Large schools take longer to find one’s group but that doesn’t mean they can’t be great options. I concur he needs to walk in to the Honors College and ask about options. It can be one of his first adult actions and empower him to take control of his future.
Now it seems for many, the tendency would be to email but I think this is a face to face conversation for best results.
Even for studying, encourage him to go to the library to do it. Less isolating seeing other faces and knowing you aren’t alone. who knows, maybe he’ll bump into someone he knows or meet someone. The thing is to get out of the room except for sleeping.
My son goes to a big state u also and is a sophomore. In addition to the honors dorm they have several living/learning communities. Are there any other housing options on campus for your son? You can usually read about them on the housing site. As others have stated encourage him to join some clubs. Try and get him to stay on campus next year because living off campus will make it harder to meet friends and stay involved. My son is an introvert and it’s amazing to see all the things he belongs to and all the friends he’s made.
Sending best wishes your way.
The sports team is great, and it sounds like the honors program will be a good step, the sooner the better.
I wanted to say, don’t second guess yourself. This was an affordable choice and it sounds like there is enough there to make it work. Every situation has its drawbacks. I was taken by the story of the friend from the opposite extreme, the high stress environment. Your son may learn some valuable life lessons through this (taking initiative, becoming more independent, persevering) until he finds his way to some solutions.
Please let us know how it is going.
As he gets more into the sports team activities he’ll probably do better.
It’s tough to be left alone when everybody disappears for some Greek social event to which you aren’t invited (which is all the time it seems). He really needs a dorm switch–or a room switch to be with more non-Greeks.
Totally agree that he needs to get out of his room to study.
Being in the honor’s college is not a be-all, end-all goal that would necessarily solve the problem-- The dorm is mainly engineering students who are too busy studying to socialize. Honor’s colleges differ widely between colleges. You don’t have to be in honor’s to take honor’s classes usually.
In the mean time…Hugs! I know that awful feeling you get worrying about the kiddos!
OP said the dorm is about 80% greek pledges, but that leaves 20% who aren’t, so I’m sure there are some kids watching monday night football or playing games or eating in the dining room on nights ‘everyone’ is off to the frat/sorority houses.
DING DING DING DING! Possible happy ending alert:
So S went by the Honors office this morning as several of you suggested…and here’s what they said (from what i can tell from S), “we can’t promise anything but turn it in by the deadline and then we’ll talk.” So that’s positive!!
Also, all other advice truly appreciated…i was kind of into a circular moment where I was berating myself for not taking on the debt of the other schools…i’m not completely over that but I have better perspective now. Many thanks.
No berating yourself! It’s on your student to bloom where they are planted! Have confidence that he will figure this out!
I’d still see if he can pick up a one credit academic class for the second half of the semester, just so they don’t NEED to make an exception for him. I just looked at my alma mater, and they have 4 1 credit geology courses offered starting tomorrow, with a drop/add date of 11/3. I think he may be able to search the course catalog for courses that are one credit (hopefully). He would find a lot of higher level symposiums/independent study/lab type courses. But if he looked for 100 level courses, I think he could very well find something to add to his schedule that would get him to 15 academic credits. I think some departments trying to draw students in offer mini courses so students can sample. It is worth looking into.
Heck, it is the sort of thing a worried mom could do and then provide the info for him to consider. 
Great!
@SouthernHope --…honor’s college is NOT a deciding factor for your kid’s happiness or social group.
He’s part of a sport’s team now but if that one doesn’t pan out then another one may…
It will be up to HIM! You aren’t part of the equation.
He needs to check his options out.
And it’s worth checking the options! It’s easier right now with the most options and least expense than will probably ever exist after graduation. A big university allows a TON of sports, clubs to be explored with little to no cost. And just extra classes (short term learning) through the “union”.
The best thing in a big university is the diversity of interests and opportunities to explore new things. Trying something totally new is great.
I would check out Honors more before making that leap. Honors dorms, living learning communities are not for everyone. Some kids prefer to be in the general social, academic , athletic mix. Mine both did . Check that out with your son and find out what he prefers and go from there. Good luck!
It is possible he could get a credit for playing his club sport. Check. I know my niece did one year (don’t know if it was only for the main season, which was spring) but it was sort of the bonus for playing and paying to play. My daughter is a varsity athlete and one year she got a credit for playing. I think she had to write a paper or something.
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It is possible he could get a credit for playing his club sport. "
No offense, but gosh I sure hope this doesn’t happen in many places. I know some colleges that have a PE requirement, one of my kids attended one, but you didn’t get college credit for it, you just had to complete it.
“but gosh I sure hope this doesn’t happen in many places”
Many schools give credit for courses that are what you consider PE. Stanford gives credits for football and basketball, and probably their other varsity sports too. My niece at USD got a credit for playing club lacrosse, and again put in many more hours than someone taking a swim class would. My daughter got a credit for her varsity play. Don’t worry, she still has to take all the credits required by her civil engineering major.
I think credits for what you call PE are available at more schools than they aren’t. All the big flagships have them. Most D1 schools have some credit for them.
I personally think students involved in some kind of athletic activity have less stress. My friend who is autistic does better in semesters where she has a movement classes - dance, yoga, karate, theater. They take time and she has to do the work (show up, write a paper, do a performance). She can’t sit in a lab all the time.
^^Two credits of PE are required to graduate Columbia University. Somehow they have managed to hang onto their threatened academic reputation despite this.
This really is school dependent so need to check with the particular school. My kids went to large D1 schools and had no PE requirement. One kid played a club sport but no college credit to be had. In googling, it looks like Carleton, Bates, Dartmouth , etc. have a PE requirement that can be satisfied by a club sport, but I just glanced at the info.
At my alma mater, they gave real grades in PE based on performance. I took a ski class and it was no joke. For your “final” you went down a slalom course and your grade was based on your time and your form (they placed a couple of graders along the course). What a shocker!
Went to a D1 school and there was no PE requirements, but lots of 1 credit PE classes available. I took ice skating and I think swimming.
My roommate was a recreation major. She had a ton of 1-2 credit classes like coaching soccer, coaching basketball.