<p>Hi all, I'm interested in hearing from both students & their parents about how both sides negotiate the boundaries of communication with all of the technology available these days. How often do you gchat/email/text/phone etc.? What works for your family and why? What's too much?</p>
<p>As I think about sending a child off to BS I want to strike the right balance between being a supportive parent without being intrusive. Any comments appreciated!</p>
<p>it is really hard for students to find time out of their busy days to call parents if they want to talk for 30 minutes. i would say to text during day and tell them to call 2 or 3 times a week. otherwise there is nothing new to talk about</p>
<p>The line between intrusive and supportive is based, I think, less on how many times you talk and more on who instigates the calling/texting. With rare exception, our son contacts us. My favorite form of communication is internet chat–everyone can come and go as needed, (just like home), and kids are really good at chatting while they’re doing…well just about anything else, so it doesn’t feel intrusive. We chat every day, so far.</p>
<p>…<em>goes to check to see if son is online on Facebook</em>…</p>
<p>…<em>goes to to see if his parents are on facebook checking if he is on facebook</em>…</p>
<p>So we could chat! Not so I could creep! C’mon… :)</p>
<p>Best thing we did was get unlimited texting. It’s just like she’s here, shouting down the hall about something. It especially came in handy this week as she was sick. She could ask me what to do without having to strain her voice.</p>
<p>Texts - they can do them on the fly. And I can re-read them during the week when I’m missing her. Skype worked for a while, but fell by the wayside because of the slow internet connection. But texts and phone calls 2 times a week help a lot. </p>
<p>Funny - my husband started sending her letters and she said she loves them most of all. It prompted her to call home more often. </p>
<p>I remember “getting something” in my box was exhilarating, and going to an empty box was a downer. Maybe we should return to a society of letter writers for that personal touch.</p>
<p>Exit-My d feels the same way about mail-go figure-lol.</p>
<p>Initially, we decided that she would skype on sundays, and it sort of worked for awhile. I seemed to miss her so much and she seemed so busy. At parent weekend, when she was soooooo busy, almost to busy for me I spoke to the school psychologist. He reminded me that she is still a child and many times they want to seem “grown up” that they want to be “brave” and independent. He told me if I wanted to have more contact that I had every right to demand it and they would support me in making sure that happened.</p>
<p>I decided that she would call on Wednesday’s for a 10 minute “update”. I love my update call and now she loves it. She looks forward to the call and always has something to say. Many times in the middle of the week I am busy working and cant’t talk for a long time, and she sometimes says, “mom can you please give me a few more minutes?” It is amazing that when I am busy she sometimes seems a little shocked and then realizes that my life is going forward, here without her. </p>
<p>It seems the mid-week call is making her more sensitive to realizing how much her family misses her.</p>
<p>I sometimes text during the week, just to let her know I think of her. She always answers, short but extremely sweet.</p>
<p>I call my parents once a week. They would like me to call more often, but I never have time.</p>
<p>Musisat-try a short text or email in the middle of your week, like 5 minutes before you begin studying. It would mean the world to your parents. </p>
<p>Just my “mom” 2 cents.</p>
<p>My kid’s favorite calling time is on is way to something–breakfast or practice, or something where he’s walking by himself for 5 or 10 minutes. Generally speaking, we find Google chat less disruptive than texting since we’re both working on the computer most nights anyway (but we’re a weird family–only younger son has really taken to cell phones). Easy to ignore if you’re in the middle of something and easy ask/say the mundane, everyday stuff that makes families click. If I had to choose, I’d take those quick 2 minute exchanges a few times a day over one longer phone call a week…somehow it just keeps us all connected.</p>
<p>We have short phone calls multiple times a week. It’s good to hear his voice. The more relaxed calls are on weekends. I really like the early Sunday afternoon call.</p>