<p>Every school has a good handful of these kids. What do they usually end up doing post-high school? Community college?</p>
<p>I ask this because I have a younger brother who falls under said description. He couldn't care less about school, he's an addicted smoker, drinks, and does drugs, and currently has a 1.0 GPA. He's supposedly making it up through summer school, but in all honestly, I can't picture him ending high school in a couple years with anything above a 2.0. The only classes he seems to do even remotely well in are his electives (PE and Art).</p>
<p>That brings me to my actual point. I've worked my ass off all through high school to become a competitve applicant for high caliber colleges. My education means a lot to me, and I'm on college sites almost 24/7. But the thing is, when I talk to my parents, we usually discuss the fun parts of college - like campus life and all the great memories. This is going to sound immature and mean, but I'm really nervous that all of our excited college chatter will rub off on him, and make him think that college is all fun and games. As embarrassing as it is, I'll admit that the thought of him wanting to go to college makes me extremely jealous. I hate the thought that I've worked so hard to get that great college experience, and that by cheating (as I think he plans to do next year), he could have that same experience if he chose to. </p>
<p>Which is why I ask - do kids who hate academics typically realize all the work that comes with a 4-year college? Do they usually know that CC or online courses are a better fit for their lifestyle? Are there any statistics on this?</p>
<p>I realize that my story seems immature and whiney - no need to tell me, I already feel guilty for being such a brat, but I do have a reason for feeling this way. I think most others would in my situation. Thanks a lot in advance to those of you who actually read all this and wouldn't mind shedding some light on the topic.</p>
<p>
[quote]
but I do have a reason for feeling this way
[/quote]
No, you don't, at least not based on what you've written so far
[quote]
I think most others would in my situation
[/quote]
No, they wouldn't. Why in the world would you let your brother's potential college experience make you jealous -- it's completely, utterly, unrelated to YOUR college experience.</p>
<p>Well, if he has a 1.0 GPA, it's going to take a lot of hard work to bring it up to get accepted to college. If it takes him a little longer and he goes to CC first, he's still going to have to work hard.</p>
<p>My younger brother spent most of his high school years playing video games, with a GPA hovering just above a 2.0. He graduated this year, and I'll be driving him over to the local community college to help him enroll for classes this fall. Somehow, he's sparked an interest in the medical field and is determined to make the most of his clean slate. I hope one day he will be able to go to med school (if that's what he still wants to do). He'll probably wind up being a lot "more successful" than me, at least financially (I plan on going into academia), even though I was always the "nerdy one". And you know what? I couldn't be prouder of him.</p>
<p>Your younger brother sounds like he's in desperate need of guidance. As his older sister, you should be there to encourage and support him. I'm not a parent, but it concerns me that you and your parents are sharing these fond memories about their college years while your brother is using drugs and seemingly sabotaging himself academically. I think he needs a bit more of a push, and I also think that he should be included in these conversations. Maybe you can invite him to spend a weekend with you on campus, and show him the rewards of your hard work, in hopes of inspiring him to do better? I also think that some type of intervention should take place with regards to his drug/alcohol use, which until dealt with may prevent things from falling into place academically.</p>
<p>First off, he won't have nearly the college opportunities as you since you worked really hard to make this happen for yourself. So, really what you put into it during HS will pay off and his lack of initiative will leave him scrambling to even be considered by colleges. So, you really have no reason for jealousy. If anything, your brother sounds like he is not ready for college at all as you described him. He needs to get his priorities straight and clean up his act.</p>
<p>I would suggest you spend your energies trying to help him. He could use guidance from a sister who is compassionate and cares. Now that you have worked hard academically, it's time to work hard on yourself emotionally and turning your jealousy into compassion for someone who could use yopur help.</p>
<p>It's just hard...that I had to work for so many years to be the "golden child", the perfect one, held to such high expectations, while he's just slacked off and had fun. I hate to think that by cheating and paying people to do his homework for him, he could end up getting the same "reward" so to speak. </p>
<p>Perhaps it's just my built up resentment towards him and all the problems he's caused for my family, as well as the perfectionist complex I've had to grow up with. If nothing else, venting about it did make me feel better....so I guess there was some point in posting this.</p>
<p>Sibling rivalry is common, it's okay that you feel this way, and understandable. Your brother will not have nearly as many options as you will in the college selection process, though, so there's nothing to be jealous of. </p>
<p>Depending on his final grades, scores, and ECs, he may be able to get into a four year school or he might not. He might be able to get into small, local schools, or Community College may not be a terrible option either. He could always transfer, right?</p>
<p>Despite the jealousy (I've been there too, I'm not judging) I think you should try to help your brother as much as you can. You care about him so you should want what's best for him, and most likely that's going to college.</p>
<p>I hate to sound harsh, but did you ever think that your status "golden child" might have come at the detriment of your younger brother? While the attention has been on you for your accomplishments, it may have cast your brother in a negative light. I know many families where younger siblings have been turned out to be underacheivers because of constant comparison to their older siblings (i.e. "Why can't you be just like Suzy/Bobby/Whatever"), and they never felt they could catch up so they didn't bother trying. Which isn't to say that your family is like that, but it also doesn't rule out the fact that your brother might feel that way regardless.</p>
<p>I'm sorry if I sound mean, but your post really rubs me the wrong way.</p>
<p>I know. The more I think about it, the more I feel terrible for what I said. I was angry when I wrote my original post, and in retrospect, I didn't mean it as harshly as I said it. The past year has just been really rough for my whole family, and I guess it's getting the better of me. In addition to my brother's substance abuse problems, my mom is also extremely sick. </p>
<p>I know that I should want to help, and I want to try...but I don't know how. My parents are at the point where they're too scared of alienating him, so they just give in to whatever he wants (i.e., buying him cigarettes, allowing him to transer to a new school this coming year - the school where his drug dealers go, allowing him to throw fits of rage without reprimand).</p>
<p>What CAN I do to help? I feel kind of helpless in the situation, and most people are advising me to stay out of it...</p>
<p>I agree with the last post. Perhaps rather than criticizing your brother for what he has become, you should look to the parents who have not only allowed this, but also apparently forced you to "work so hard to be the "golden child", the perfect one" and to also become the person you are. Sometimes if you tell a child enough times that he is bad or incapable or undeserving, and you lower your expectations for the child, that is exactly what the child becomes. </p>
<p>And if he only has a 1.0 gpa right now? Well, I very much doubt he will get into any of the colleges you feel he doesn't deserve.</p>
<p>When I read the title of tis thread, I thought you were worried about the options that someone like your brother would have... It turns out that you are afraid that he might have some options, even though you don't think he deserves any...</p>
<p>If you can't be helpful to your brother -- either as a tutor, or as a role model, then just go on and live your life, and be happy and proud of the opportunities you've created for yourself.</p>
<p>There is an old tale about jealousy:
God approaches a guy and tells him : "Ask for anything you want, and I'll grant it to you, but there is a catch -- I'll do twice as much for your neighbor. You can get a house, but your neighbor will get two; you can get $1,000,000, but your neighbor will get $2,000,000 etc..." The guy thinks for a while and says: "God, I want you to take out one of my eyes."</p>
<p>sorry-posted at the same time. Ironically, it can sometimes be hard for parents to be patient when we see others who seem to be so intolerant and unforgiving...but blame and resentment are things that will NOT help. </p>
<p>And it sounds like your parents HAVE allowed him to get away with too much and really need to take a stricter stand, set rules and consequences and follow through even at the risk of alienating him. Some things are just not negotiable. Like the safety and welfare of our kids.</p>
<p>I suspect that you are right, and your jealous feelings go beyond his college options(been there, done that). I wouldn't worry about your feelings as long as you don't act on them. I bet when you are both older it will all work itself out.</p>
<p>My aunt told me she was a slacker in high school. She went back to college in her late 30's and finished her master's degree. She's the city clerk for a large city in California now. Her high school GPA was below 2.0.</p>
<p><em>Sigh</em> I'm sorry for turning this into such a therapy post. I realize that I probably never should have posted this to begin with, and if an admin wants to delete this whole thing, I'm fine with that. </p>
<p>It seems that a lot of us were posting at the same time, and some of you missed my last post (#11). It explains a lot. I don't feel hostile anymore, I just feel a bit helpless about this whole thing. I don't believe that there's really anything I can do about it.</p>
<p>
[quote]
God approaches a guy and tells him : "Ask for anything you want, and I'll grant it to you, but there is a catch -- I'll do twice as much for your neighbor. You can get a house, but your neighbor will get two; you can get $1,000,000, but your neighbor will get $2,000,000 etc..." The guy thinks for a while and says: "God, I want you to take out one of my eyes."
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Why would God ever create this inequality? Just to make a point?</p>
<p>Do they usually know that CC or online courses are a better fit for their lifestyle?</p>
<p>Well, if by "they" you mean slackers and people who didn't study at all/try hard, etc., then let me tell you that I did all of that in high school and still went to a great school. Get off your pedestal for a second.</p>