<p>I don't know any other college students to ask this, but how do long-distance relationships work for cornell students?
I'm an incoming freshman this year from Texas, so the distance is definitely there.
I'm only going home for thanksgiving and winter break and spring break.
It's a 2 year relationship, serious, but not TOO serious, and I was just wondering if people usually do this or if the workload gets too heavy that the relationship suffers and eventually breaks apart?
Thanks</p>
<p>I’m also an incoming freshman, and had a 2 year relationship until the beginning of summer. After talking it through, we decided that it was best to let our relationship down slowly. If we had brought it with us to college and broken up there, coming home will definitely awkward and there’s almost definitely going to be some hard feelings. There’s so much to experience in college, and I wouldn’t want to be tied down (time and emotional wise). We needed to try to be realistic… But I’m also a bit idealistic, and figured that if it’s really meant to be, then we’ll find our way back together. We’re going to be on completely opposite coasts soon and he’s been on vacation since the beginning of summer. Unfortunately, he’s coming back to the states 2 days AFTER I leave for NY. Talk about bummer huh… Well, at least we’ve been emailing this summer, so I shouldn’t be complaining. </p>
<p>Anyways, I can’t exactly answer your questions, but take whatever you want from my situation, seeing how we both have/had the “serious, but not TOO serious, 2 year relationship.” Good luck with everything!</p>
<p>I don’t like to be a pessimist, but…</p>
<p>Most, if not all, of the long distance relationships I know failed. Either they got tired of it, or they met someone new. The former is the most common reason, though. Ithaca is lonely enough, and it’s even more so when your sweetheart is thousands of miles away.</p>
<p>But don’t take my word for it. People do succeed with long distance. Keep your head up. Again, sorry that I had to be the messenger of bad news.</p>
<p>haha don’t worry, you’re not the first messenger of bad news or the last, most of my friends scoff at me when I say I will still be with my boyfriend. </p>
<p>I can’t really bring myself to end this relationship, but I also want to be able to experience college in it’s entirety.
It’s a tough choice.</p>
<p>I wonder the same. But if I have been doing it from another state 1,000 miles apart, I’m assuming the same should go for ithaca. Plus ithaca is closer to my boyfriend lives. But I agree, it may be overwhelming to have time for a boyfriend and be busy with school, work, and community service etc.</p>
<p>socold </p>
<p>The only way to look at it is that if it’s meant to be, it will be. And if you break up, it probably wasn’t meant to be.</p>
<p>I think it really depends on what both of you want. I’m from Texas too. When I came to Cornell I had a boyfriend whom I had been dating for a couple of months, but once I was here I realized I didn’t want to put the time and effort into the relationship. However, I think that if both of you want to stay together, you can do it. You can always make time to keep in touch, it may not be much, but it is possible. With regards to wanting to experience college in its entirety…does this refer to parties, hookups, getting wasted etc? Because if one of you does it and the other doesn’t, there may be some problems. I think trust is essential in this case. And you have to be able to deal with the fact that you will meet a lot of people and so will the person you’re dating.</p>
<p>I knew two guys who were in consistent contact with their girlfriends during the year. And I know for a fact that at one point or another, their girlfriends did show up at the school to pay them a visit. They seemed to be in strong relationships, but the fact that these guys weren’t partiers may be a factor in that. I can only talk from the male end of the spectrum since I don’t know any girls that had boyfriends far away.</p>
<p>Also, these two guys were from states adjacent to New York, so I guess I can’t speak for folks that used a plane to get to Cornell.</p>
<p>Ended a LDR back in February (I go to CU, she goes to school in California) and I’d say it’s really hard unless someone is willing to go way, way out of their way to make it work.</p>
<p>Also, everyone I’ve ever seen in a LDR says that’s it’s way harder on the girl than on the guy - myself included.</p>
<p>I have this problem too… we’ll be on opposite coasts. I cross my fingers that it’ll work and I know that we’re both stubborn enough to keep it up, but it’s scary wondering about if it doesn’t. I’m more flexible with my considerations of the future, but he is wholly focused on how there’s no question it’ll work out. I’m glad there will be other people in my same situation, though. :)</p>
<p>What is usually the factor that leads to breakups? The lack of communication, lack of trust, or lack of actually seeing them? Or is it the workload of going to school? This’ll be tricky, but good luck to everybody trying to make it work. :)</p>
<p>@swuster…what do you mean it’s harder on the girl than the guy?</p>
<p>I really do hope things work out, and @wadawada, same with my relationship, we don’t want to give each other up. But like everyone says, things work out the way they are supposed to in the end.
My boyfriend is still in high school (senior) so hopefully, it won’t be as hard as if he was in college.</p>
<p>@wadawada I think it depends. Like I had a LDR my freshman year in college for a month, but it really just depends on the person. I mean I dated that person for like 2.5 years and he was 3 yrs older than me. All he did was party. We were in the same state too, and he didn’t treat me like a girlfriend. Now, a junior in college I’m dating someone actually a year younger than me. We were way farther from each other, but he treats me the way I should be treated. He parties, but rarely. He always calls. Now we’re closer! So I guess it’s trust and communication that are very important, at least in my opinion :)</p>
<p>I live in Florida and kept up my LDR once I came to Cornell for most of fall semester, then ended it. You meet a lot of great people here, and that really made me think about who I wanted to end up with and where. I guess there were a lot of complicating factors, but in the end, I’m clumped with the majority of people who break it off. I do know very few people who have kept up their LDR, and it is possible, but also (and unfortunately) very unlikely. If you do decide to keep it up, good luck to you!</p>
<p>I know of a guy from South Carolina who was LDR throughout his entire time at Cornell and actually married the girl immediately after graduation. I also was in a LDR for an entire year (we met while he was studying abroad at Cornell, so we knew it was going to be LDR right from the start). It wasn’t a lack of communication/commitment or seeing each other that broke us up–his parents didn’t like me (it was a cultural thing, not because I have any major character flaws…at least, I don’t think I do). I say if you really think you can pull it off, then go for it. You’ll never know unless you try and I may be a hopeless romantic by saying this, but what if s/he ends up being the one that got away?</p>