<p>It sounds like your Dad is having a hard time letting you go and will feel better knowing he has good friends near by if you need them. Ask your mom, one more time, if the money makes sense for the family as a whole. If she is ok with Wheaton and that is where your heart leads-go to Wheaton.</p>
<p>I would also suggest finding a couple of the threads where kids have come down to two schools and don’t like either of them after they visited on accepted student days …</p>
<p>
The first part of the first sentence turned my stomach a bit. The last sentence made me laugh out loud!</p>
<p>If seriously the only reason your dad is pushing Wheaton is the view he had of the coeds, please tell me you won’t put much credence into that.</p>
<p>I think its more likely that the Dad thinks the “hotter girls” point is something that would appeal to his son – the father has seemed to prefer Wheaton for awhile, so he’s probably trying pretty hard to come up with reasons that will resonate with his son.</p>
<p>It’s a tough choice. If it were me or my kids, I’d be opting for Knox. But EC’s personality is different, and I get the sense that physical environment may be much more important to his happiness and ability to function well.</p>
<p>Honestly, my dad just really wants me to go to Wheaton. Hot girls alone will not get me at Wheaton. It’s just so pretty and the location is hard to beat. My dad thinks Wheaton is a “no brainer” and this is coming from someone who hates the Patriots haha. My mom, on the other hand, thinks I should go to Knox. Ugh, I wish this was a brainer, but it’s really not. I will say that I have aunts and uncles in NY, so if anything ever happens, they’re closer. I have no family in the Midwest.</p>
<p>With all due respect, we don’t know why dad made that comment, and regardless, its rather boorish and certainly not, NOT a reason to pick a school. If it was dad’s way of pushing his choice on EC, it should be ignored by EC. </p>
<p>We have no clue why dad is pushing Wheaton. EC hasn’t said what dads reasons are, other than the distasteful one. It sounds like mom is pushing Knox for very appropriate reasons. Financially safer, less pressure, a good academic environment, etc. Have to wonder if mom and dad have some sort of family power struggle that EC is caught in the middle of. The fact that dad wouldn’t let EC use the credit card to put down the deposit sounds very controlling and somewhat manipulative. This is a family who has had very little do do with the entire college selection process. For them to now play tug of war with EC in the middle is really unfortunate. </p>
<p>So EC. Flip a coin. If it comes up Knox and you find you want to flip again, then you want Wheaton. And vice versa. But stop torturing yourself. These are both fine choices with pros and cons. You’ve mentioned over and over and over that finances are unpredictable and that your dad can go months without a placement. So just because he happens to feel a bit flush right now is no reason to pick a school that in a year he could be fighting to come up with that last $1000 or scrounging again to put food on the table. Thats assuming those examples you gave in the past were not prone to hyperbole or theatrics. At this point this is not your parents decision. Take them out of the loop. Whatever choice you make you will feel like you are disappointing the other. Its making you and everyone crazy with this mental tug of war. Time to choose.</p>
<p>I’m quoting each of my parents reasons haha. </p>
<p>Here are my dads reasons, “Comparing that the academics are equal, the campus is better and it’s very modern. The campus is very beautiful. They are providing me a stipend. Close proximity to other colleges. It’s easier to get in and out of then going to Peoria/Quad Cities. It’s close to Providence and Boston. They have Italian (language) and Knox doesn’t. There are no frats and sororities and no football team. There is a lot more to do outside of the campus. For example, if I want to go see a play, concert, etc. There is more of a theatre scene in Mass. He thinks I’ll fit in more. His biggest reason is that if I’m not happy at either campus, based on my past experiences, that I can find more things to do within close proximity without having a car. I would need a car to go places at Knox. And yes he was about to say hotter girls (LOL).”</p>
<p>Here are my moms reasons, “Knox is a historic college with a diverse population. I can go directly to Peoria and not have to take a train, there is a shuttle. I don’t have to maintain any GPA average to keep my scholarship. Not as much pressure. It’s starting out at a shorter price range, much cheaper overall. It leaves me room for other expenses. There is history there where I sat in Lincoln’s seat. They have a swim team I can be a part of. I have longer vacations. I only have to take three classes at once. Staying on campus, keeps me focus on academics. The orientation is in September right before school, while Wheaton’s is in June which is another expense. Again money matters. It’s only going to go up higher. My mom finally said that they’re both comparable academic wise, so wouldn’t I want the more affordable package? We’ll be saving 13/14k more at Knox. I also get 1k more in work study. Knox is 13 hours away driving and Wheaton is 18 hours”</p>
<p>As a parent who would need to live with the bills, my vote would be for Knox. If money did not matter, my vote would be Wheaton.</p>
<p>I think you could make both schools work if you wanted to be happy. I agree with Calmom’s concern concerning your health, if the dust was REALLY making you feel ill. If you are really going to be ill at Knox, then go to Wheaton.</p>
<p>My mom honestly would not care as much if I went to Wheaton as my dad would if I went to Knox. My mom is more responsible with money. </p>
<p>In response to my parents not doing much with my college search. My dad went to three colleges and never graduated, he went more to party. My mom is very much like me, and she always had to study a lot to do well. She went to community college first and then transferred to USF because it had a very good education program. My parents never heard of any of the colleges I applied to and knew little about liberal arts colleges. If it was up to them, I’d be going to the local community college first or GGC to save money. So, I pretty much did a lot of the research because my parents would have never found any of these colleges. They’re not very well known. My mom has always been very supportive with everything I’ve done. My dad took me to about 8 interviews in Atlanta and drove 3,527 miles across 17 states, so it shows that he cares somewhat lol. </p>
<p>I’ve actually tried to flip a coin LOL. I’ve had my mom think of two numbers (one Knox and one Wheaton), and I had to guess a number which was closer. It hasn’t worked. My dad actually went to Frostburg State in Maryland, so he knows rural. I guess the only think at Knox that’s holding me back is the campus, area, and it’s very old and dusty.The dust was really just a problem in the library where even my dad who isn’t allergic to dust felt it pretty bad, but it’s very beautiful. Otherwise, it’s fine. It was hard to find much cons about Wheaton, but I don’t think they’re that intellectual and more rich kids.</p>
<p>The biggest cons with Wheaton are the requirement to keep a 3.0 or risk losing the scholarship, and $14K more in total cost. Thats pretty big.</p>
<p>I don’t understand why the fact that one school doesn’t offer Italian is even being considered as a deal breaker. I doubt you’re going to be a language major. If you want to learn Italian, take it at your local community college this summer.</p>
<p>Football or no football----it doesn’t matter. You’re not talking about a powerhouse Division 1 football team. If you don’t like football, simply don’t go to the games. Problem solved.</p>
<p>Hotter girls at one school compared to another—get real. There are pretty girls and not so pretty girls at every college. Come on now–this is ridiculous.</p>
<p>Costs go up every single year at colleges. Don’t assume that financial aid offered from year to year will go up to cover the increases. It may even go down. Because costs are a big issue, this is what you should be considering rather than insignificant issues.</p>
<p>I seriously feel as though you are going to find fault with any/every college. You might as well pick the more affordable option (without a GPA requirement). </p>
<p>Take the drama out of the decision process and make your choice based on important factors. </p>
<p>PS–As far as having relatives in NY, I don’t see what that has to do with either of your college choices. One can board a plane and get anywhere in a relatively short time frame if an emergency arises.</p>
<p>With other kids that will need to go through school, I voting again for Knox. What is one of your siblings has a desire to go to an out of state LAC and there is no money left?</p>
<p>Those reasoning’s weren’t mine, but my fathers. I can careless which school has hotter girls because every school will have good looking girls one way or another. My nana actually went to Ohio State in the 60’s because she wanted to find a Jewish guy from NY. So, everyone has their reasoning’s one way or another (good or bad reasons). No school is perfect and every school will have its faults, so I am going to have to make a compromise wherever I go. I’m hoping I will make my final decision tomorrow because I cannot take this any longer. I was so close to sending a deposit to Knox IF only my dad gave me his credit card, lol. I really think this is going to go to my head if I wait any longer though. BTW, the only perks for relatives in NY is that I could just go there for smaller breaks such as Thanksgiving, etc and they’re only 3-3 and a half hours away VS 18. But were not that close, so really can’t rely on them. BTW, my younger brother has naturally gifted smarts, but will most likely go to Florida or Georgia for college. I am really suggesting New College of Florida for him (close to grandparents), but he still has time.</p>
<p>Listen to Jym about that con!</p>
<p>Also, nysmile has very good advice for you.</p>
<p>MizzBee is making an important point too!</p>
<p>Final offer - here’s the list my daughter uses to help her review the colleges, it’s based on those things she finds most important and each area has points based on their importance to her.</p>
<p>Campus 1-30
Academics 1-50
People 1-50
Location 1-10 (location as in immediate area surrounding campus)
Distance 1-15 (from home)
Social Activities 1-25
Living Conditions 1-30
School Spirit 1-10 (not rah-rah but are the kids happy and proud of their school, do they wear the t-shirts and sweatshirts, etc.)</p>
<p>See if this helps.</p>
<p>Re post #85. Geez, lighten up. The dad might have been joking about the hot girls. When my daughter was comparing NYU to Barnard, after visiting both, she told me that NYU had hotter boys than Columbia. We laughed. I did not think for a minute that my daughter seriously was going to select a college base on how “hot” the boys were. </p>
<p>Similarly, college deposits aren’t due for another 2 weeks. The father has every right to ask his son to hold off on the credit card deposit – he has known EC for the past 18 years or so – it is not “controlling” or “manipulative” for a father who took a week off to drive his son 3500 miles across 17 states to exercise a little bit of parental restraint with the credit card, and encourage the son to think things through a little more. It is obvious that the two parents have differing views on schools and finances — but it is also obvious that these two parents are extremely supportive of their son.</p>
<p>EC: forget the finances for now and make your decision based on the other factors. The reason I say to forget the finances is that your parents have told you it is OK with them if you choose the more expensive school. Trust them on that. Think about all of the other, far more expensive schools that you dropped as soon as you saw the financial aid award. You already did your part to save your parents’ money by applying to so many colleges so that you could have a good range of financial aid options. You don’t have to choose the absolutely cheapest college – you’ve already dropped all of the unaffordable colleges. At this point you have earned the right to choose the school where you think you are most likely to thrive and be happy.</p>
<p>I realize that it’s hard to figure that out. Your parents have each supplied a good set of reasons in support of each school.</p>
<p>Something I was thinking about…most of my college memories are about the people I met, the 3 a.m. discussions, etc.</p>
<p>Which school felt more like your “people”? All else being equal, it’s the people who will make your experience.</p>
<p>The whole hot girls factor is something I would never even factor into a decision. </p>
<p>Fit is something that is the MOST important factor to me. But I really didn’t get a good feel for the student body at both campuses especially Wheaton. I guess if I was at Wheaton all day, I could have talked to more students. That’s what I’m having a problem with. I really didn’t see much wrong with Wheaton, but the GPA requirement (which I would have if I stayed instate) and the cost are holding me back. I really do like the trimester system at Knox, but if we’re just looking at student body’s. I have no idea. I don’t know which one I would “fit” in better. I only met 5 people at Knox and 2 at Wheaton, so it’s hard to judge a school based on that. </p>
<p>All of last week I was telling everyone that I was most likely going to Wheaton, but I told everyone yesterday (even my teachers) Knox. I guess I’ve grown to like Knox more because of the price. If you guys take out the cost and GPA requirements for one second (and yes, I know each is important), which would you say is the better fit?</p>
<p>Calmom-
I find comments about “hot” girls offensive. Its distasteful. Its not funny. You can agree, or not. Don’t care. It might , MIGHT, be less offensive if it was said by a kid. But by a dad, its just creepy. Period. Blech.</p>
<p>EC has said over and over that the dragging out of this decision is making him nuts. He made a choice, but dad didn’t like it so witheld the credit card. Thats being controlling. Period. You can try to justify or spin this all you want or argue for the sake of arguing as is your want, but dad is being controlling. Exactly how much more do you think EC needs to think this through? Until his head explodes? Sheesh. Dad wants him to go to Wheaton, and is pressuring him. It will probably work. And you of all people are telling him to forget the finances (even if only to look at other aspects for a moment)? Wow. Just wow. Unless his past comments that the family sometimes didn’t have enough money to put food on the table, that dad had to put it on a credit card and that dad opened credit cards in mom’s name without her permission and ran them up are pure fiction, its pretty bad advice to tell him to forget about the finances and make the decision on other factors. Then again there always seem to be monies available for what they want, like a new vehicle or an international trip. So they will come up with the money. Somehow. It isn’t “just” a few thousand dollars. That is a LOT of money,especially to a family who has lived hand to mouth and has unpredictable income.</p>
<p>But if I had to guess, since EC’s mom is reportedly putting the screws to him less than dad is, that EC will decide, especially with the pressure from dad, that he wants to be in the NE, with prettier buildings and proximity to Providence and Boston, especially should he hate spending time on his campus (thats not a great attitude, but thats not my issue), and less “dust”. From all thats been posted, if it is accurate and not melodrama, there has been a history of less than exemplary financial decision-making in this family. And so it will continue. If EC chooses the school that costs more, then for the love of g-d get a job this summer and earn the money to make up the difference for this year’s expenses. No excuses. A trip to Fl to see ones grandparent can be worked around. Get.A.Job.</p>
<p>EC–forget everything else anyone has said, parents included, money, whatever. If someone was standing before you right now and said you have 2 seconds to tell me which school you want to go to, which one is it. What is the first school that comes to mind?</p>
<p>So you have been talking to “us” for a few days. Time to conaact the colleges and talk to some students. I know Knox loves to have students available for a phone call-they called our house this past summer. Wheaton will too. Talk to them. Go on the school boards and ask questions. It is hard for some of us to take finances out of the equation in talking to you, as we know that the finance issue is real. None of us want to see a thread next year where you are unable to return to campus because your dad doesn’t have enough to cover the tuition, etc. It seems in your family you have a dreamer and a realist. When it comes to finances ask yourself if the more expensive school is worth the extra money that you may need to raise yourself. </p>
<p>Call both schools today and talk or email someone tonight. As far as going into the city, I don’t think it really matters all that much. Living in a bubble is common for college students, especially when you will have access to free/cheap entertainment and fellow broke students.</p>