Lack of Focus in Goals

[terenc]

<p>Am I alone in feeling like the major obstacle in my life is focus and time management?</p>

<p>I find it incredibly difficult - threatening, even - to start anything "long-term." Anything that would take more than a day to finish. Even more than an hour takes huge effort. It's gotten so bad that I often won't start an essay until midnight, and this is coming from someone who loves to read and write.</p>

<p>I see this trend everywhere in my life. </p>

<p>My desk is filled with long to-do lists; half the items never get finished - or even started. It's worst for long-term goals: I'm going to self-study this, or improve on that. These goals just keep piling up. I'll look at them every once in a while, but a quick mental shrug (of anxiety?) just brushes it away.</p>

<p>I've realized that all my life I've basically coasted on the "short term." I get great grades, near-perfect test scores, all because I'm just naturally gifted and because it's possible to get away with cramming for tests or homework the night before. But in concrete, substantial accomplishment I fall short, and it's hardly for lack of ambition. If anything, I have too much ambition, and it gnaws at me. I've realized that this is why I didn't get into the colleges I wanted to, all while I've witnessed people who were not as intelligent as me - yet who probably accomplished more than me - get into the colleges I wanted to.</p>

<p>At the same time that I hate this inability to focus and manage my time, I succumb to it. I try drawing out schedules for the day and allocating time: it works for a while but I eventually begin ignoring it. I try breaking big goals into small chunks, but that does nothing for me.</p>

<p>This foggy sense of unease that always occupies my mind when I try tackling a goal seems almost an inseparable part of me. And at the same time that my unease makes me ignore the big picture, I, paradoxically, obsess over it and every small detail under it. Maybe it's just all the distractions that surround me, for at school I am much more efficient. Maybe I'm incredibly impulsive and insecure, driven by sensation-seeking, intoxicated by dreams of long-term ambitions but always choosing to read a random online article instead of doing actual work. Maybe I'm burnt out from years of academic work, and maybe the long lists of plans I keep making are what tires my mind.</p>

<p>After devastating disappointment in the college process (objectively, I'm going to a fantastic top college; relative to my peers, I feel crushingly inferior), I've spent weeks beginning a long, drawn-out process of planning for my future, and all the things I tell myself I ought to do to make up for the perceived "deficiencies" of the past four years. But I realize any goal I have is going to be futile so long as I myself stand in my own way.</p>

<p>I feel like this is a hopeless, intractable problem, something I'll just have to grind through for the rest of my college career, and beyond, succumbing to acceptance of the fact that despite my self-perceived intelligence, I'm just never going to do "great" things. But I don't want to.</p>

<p>I've realized that nothing separates me and all the paragons of success that exist out in the world, except this inability to focus and dedicate myself. I could accomplish wonderful things, if only I didn't have this problem - or so I tell myself everyday.</p>

<p>Just a a lot of venting. I know many people have these experiences too.</p>

[Papertown]

<p>I’m actually the opposite - little talent and natural ability, but productive, organized, and hard working. But I feel for you because I’ve watched my older sister struggle with issues similar to this for years (she’s just finishing her junior year of college). She’s so talented, has many interests, and could probably find success in any field she chose. But getting work done and starting before the last minute is a constant struggle. Unfortunately, at least in her case, there hasn’t been a magic solution. It’s almost like a disability she’s forced to overcome.</p>

<p>One thing you can try is study groups. Working with other people might make you more productive. Even if you’re not studying the same thing, being around others who are working can help motivate you. Your future college might have general study sessions or a tutoring center where you could find others to work with. You might want to avoid working with friends since that could cause distraction.</p>

<p>Even if you prefer to work alone, try leaving your room and studying at a library or somewhere else with minimal distractions. If possible, leave your cell phone and laptop behind. If you must take your laptop, you can try turning the internet connection off. There are also programs that block popular websites like Facebook but still allow you to use the internet. </p>

<p>Another thing to consider is your choice of major. You don’t mention what you would like to study, but it might be best to avoid majors that involve a lot of long-term, time consuming projects or papers. For example, my sister is majoring in Art History. This has been difficult for her because most of the grades are determined by term papers that the student is supposed to work on throughout the semester. Since she has problems starting things on time, the papers that require a lot of time, planning, and research have hindered her because she’s just not able to start them well enough in advance. You mention being good at tests, so a major that mostly uses tests and short homework assignments for evaluation would be a good choice. </p>

<p>One thing you have going for you is that you recognize your weaknesses now and want to work on fixing them. I can tell just from reading your post that you’re intelligent and care about your education. I hope you find methods that can help. Best of luck.</p>

[spydersix]

<p>I think I have the same problem. I put things off way too much and important things too that my life is a mess. I think what I’m going to do is go to the doctor and see if I can get adderall or something.</p>