<p>
[quote]
But an "I love you" uttered too soon, before the man has processed his feelings and reached the same level of adoration could end a relationship that just as easily could have had an eternal shelf life. As soon as those words are said, they change the dynamic. If a man isn't feeling the love quite yet, he may suddenly feel pressure to manifest that emotion. And if the woman doesn't get the response she expected, it could damage her confidence enough to derail the whole relationship entirely.
<p>Eh, I disagree. I think men are in just as much risk in saying "I love you" first for the exact same reasons. The author doesn't provide any support for the assertion that men process their emotions more slowly than women do, and without any evidence I really can't assume that the author is speaking with the support of empirical data instead of her own preconceived notions about gender differences. </p>
<p>I think the rule should probably be not to make the pronouncement the moment that you're sure. Wait until things seem to be more assuredly going in a certain direction before you go out on a limb like that.</p>
<p>"I think the rule should probably be not to make the pronouncement the moment that you're sure. Wait until things seem to be more assuredly going in a certain direction before you go out on a limb like that."</p>
<p>I agree. It's more about making sure things are going well and the other person at least strongly cares. Although there are differences between men and women, I would like to believe that women in a good relationship are able to tell, and respect, about where her guy is emotionally and not rush into it. I'd like to think it's more on a person-to-person basis than a gender one.</p>
<p>
[quote]
The author doesn't provide any support for the assertion that men process their emotions more slowly than women do, and without any evidence I really can't assume that the author is speaking with the support of empirical data instead of her own preconceived notions about gender differences.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>Do you think it is necessary for a popular article, and not necessarily an article published for the APA, to post this evidence?</p>
<p>"Do you think it is necessary for a popular article, and not necessarily an article published for the APA, to post this evidence?"</p>
<p>If not citing the actual study, I'd like to see that her conclusion is actually supported by something. Even if it's just a nonspecific "studies have shown," this would suffice, but because of her utter lack of referencing the reader has no idea if this is her own conclusion or one backed by some sort of evidence.</p>
<p>Even in a popular article, I think it is important to at least place a footnote to the study in question. Furthermore, she actually has her gender differences backward! (And I can cite studies to show this.) The reality is that men tend to fall "in love" far more easily than women, while women fall out of love more easily! Men are generally the more romantic sex, but in reality I do not think either person should probably be saying they love the other person early in a relationship. Those three little words are extremely emotionally loaded for both people and healthy relationships require time to develop.</p>
<p>there's no way that men fall in love more easily. I don't care how many studies you cite, there will be just as many (or probably many more) opposing it.</p>
<p>The reality is that when one conducts a meta-analysis of studies of sex differences, most of them cancel out, and the ultimate conclusion is that these supposed differences don't really exist. I feel that this author is basing her conclusions on societal perceptions and not on any particular data, which just doesn't sit well with me. Remember, once it was widely accepted that women should not be educated because it would divert blood from her uterus to her brain and make her infertile.</p>
<p>Ladies, don't kid yourselves.
Men can fall in love just as easily as women do.
It is just that women are often more irrational about these feelings than men.
Men are more likely to analyze why they are 'in love' with a person that they don't know well. Women won't analyze and assume it's some magical attraction that can't be explained but was 'meant to be'.</p>
<p>i practically had an anxiety attack before i said those three little words to my current boyfriend. he kept hinting with comments like, "well, leah, i can't start liking you too much or i might have to tell you i love you.." he knew if he said it first i'd probably freak out and leave him haha.</p>
<p>most of my friends say i think more like a "guy" would in relationships, though, so i'm probably not the rule..</p>
<p>Knock, knock, a mom here with two girls. Don't be fooled by girls. They may appear to be more needy or illogical, but by natural they are more calculating. They work out the pros and cons of dating someone and they go for it (often it involves all of their girlfriends), when they are done with a guy, they will move on. At the same time, if they are not done with you, there is no way for a guy to get away either. Most guys think they are in control of their relationships, but it is not the case. I have talked to many of my own guy friends and my daughter's guy friends. What I often hear is, "I tried to breakup with my girlfriend, but she doesn't want to." or "I am not sure if I really like her, but she is always around, and I guess she is nice."</p>
<p>Guys become infatuated faster(I think it's the sex thing) and that's why they also appear to fall out of love faster. But when guys truly fall in love, they have a harder time of getting over it. I have found girls to be a lot more level headed and logical about it. Girls also have a lot more friends to help them get over it.</p>
<p>Guys don't become infatuated faster, they just become infatuated easier. Meaning that it takes a guy of much higher value to infatuate a girl than it takes for a girl to infatuate a guy. That definitely is a sex and reproduction thing, having to do with men being less discriminatory. </p>
<p>Women definitely have a harder time getting away from love. There's evolutionary reasons for that as well. They aren't more logical about it; refer to my talk show example. That isn't to say that men are always logical and get over it easily. But once a new girl comes into the picture, she's pretty easy to forget, at least in my experience.</p>
<p>
[quote]
It is just that women are often more irrational about these feelings than men.
Men are more likely to analyze why they are 'in love' with a person that they don't know well. Women won't analyze and assume it's some magical attraction that can't be explained but was 'meant to be'.
[/quote]
</p>
<p>IQPartier, I think you're doing yourself a disservice by dismissing the actions of women as being merely caused by irrationality. Have you ever looked at a magazine like Cosmo? There are plenty of articles about analyzing the man to the point of trying to interpret his smile. Next time you go to a grocery store, try flipping through a couple of magazines, and I think you'll see that women can also be very analytical and calculating when it comes to relationships.</p>
<p>Hmm. I don't know about all that, (haven't read through all the posts, just a few)
I think either the male or female should say "I love you" when they feel that way and if the timing seems "appropriate". I think it can cause more trouble by bottling that type of emotion up. However; I think the person should be willing to understand their partner may not feel the same way yet. The key word being YET. If the statement is not immediately returned, and even if it is in some cases, I think the couple should talk about their feelings just to know where they really stand...
But that's just me</p>