Large vs Small Schools

I am an introvert, and at some times completely anti social. I have a hard time making friends, and am by far a social butterfly. For this reason, I feel as though if I went to a larger school, I would have more “chances” to make friends, AKA more clubs, and more variety of people. Also, I fear that in a large school I won’t be memorable at all. Of course, there are other factors that will be perhaps more important, like cost and location, but right now I feel like I have a personality that makes me scared that I’ll be stuck in a college with no friends.

I think you could make an argument either way.

Some people say at larger schools there are more opportunities to meet people, more organizations, and more chances to really find your niche. Others say that you can get lost in the crowd and just become one of thousands.

Some people say at small colleges tight-knit bonds form between students because they form a very small community, with smaller classes and residence halls. Others say that the small size means it’s more difficult to find a place where you fit in unless you choose very carefully.

And then there are the medium-sized schools, and the question of what’s too small and what’s too big. For some students a school with 900 students is the perfect size and anything bigger than 2,000 is big. Some students think big is anything over around 8,000 and for others, big is 15,000+. Even after you get to 15,000, there’s a lot of variation - if I remember correctly, UGA has around 20,000 students and Penn State has around 40,000. There’s also a huge difference in going to a school with lots of students that’s sort of less traditional and prides itself on independence and unconventionality (like NYU, with over 20,000 undergraduates, but without a defined campus) and going to a big school that’s bound together by D1 football or school spirit or a small town or a physical campus (like Penn State, which has all of those).

The other thing to ask yourself is whether your really want to memorable, and what that means to you. By memorable do you mean someone that everyone in your class knows and remembers post-college? I went to a college like that (2300 undergrads; around 600 people in my graduating class). Or do you just mean that you want a group of friends that remembers you, or a niche of people (like the LGBT population, or the a cappella groups, or the Greek scene, or the musical theater kids) that remember you?

If you were my kid, I would steer you towards a smaller school with a strong sense of community. Don’t mistake small with lack of opportunity. The flip side of your rationale is that the more people you have to choose from, the harder it is to choose who is ultimately right for you. Also, other students have more choices to not choose you! Don’t judge yourself based on your high school success. Find a school where the environment is right for you and you may be surprised at how social you can be! Sometimes even the most popular kids in high school want a change in social status because they fell into the wrong group and were too afraid to abandon ship.

A really good way to meet people and make friends at a larger school - and a small one, too, actually - is to apply to live in a Living Learning community, or Themed residence hall. This is where the residence hall has activities centered around a certain theme or activity. Some popular ones are - outdoors, Honors, Substance-free, Social Justice issues, International and language studies, etc. Almost every college or university has these now. A very long time ago, I went to a big state university and applied to live in French House. The other wing of the dorm was Spanish House. All of us became a tight-knit community as we were all language majors or interested in foreign language studies.

Look to see if the schools you are interested in have LLC or themed dorms, and see if there’s one that piques your interest.

You could also join a sorority or fraternity (hard to tell by your screen name if you are female or male). I did not join a sorority, but my husband, who claims to have been very socially awkward and shy during high school, joined a fraternity and credits the experience for bringing him out of his shell and learning useful social skills that have served him in his professional life as well. He made lifelong friends there, too.

Of course, another way is to join clubs and organizations that interest you, and you will meet like-minded people.

Finally, I was fortunate to have attended both a small private school and a big state school. I did not live on campus at the small private, but did make a few friends. However, I noticed that the kids who lived on campus were a very tight-knit group; everyone seemed to know each other or recognize each other. Honestly, on a campus of less than 3,000 students, it would be difficult NOT meeting people. In fact, you may retain more anonymity on a bigger campus… I also think it’s much easier to become involved and meet people in groups and clubs on a smaller campus - there are just fewer people, in general, participating.

However, like I said above, there are ways to seek out your niche on a bigger campus. The living-learning community dorms are usually smaller groups of people and that fosters camaraderie and community.

Best of luck to you, but, really, you are going to be fine and meet lots of new people wherever you go!

If you haven’t yet, I’d suggest visiting different types of schools. Don’t always assume that smaller is best. And don’t forget to look at mid-sized universities. My quiet son thrived at a mid-sized university which had small classes, it was easy to join clubs etc. but if he ever wanted to step away for a bit it was easy to do. He felt LACs were just too small and people would know each others business too much for his tastes. On the other hand, my outgoing daughter thrives on being part of a close-knit environment and lover her LAC experience. Visit and see what works best for you.