Do it! Don’t engage your mom any more on this issue. It’s a done deal and she needs to accept it, so if she locks herself in her room crying, do not sit outside her door and plead with her. Walk out the door and go visit friends or take a walk. If she pleads or threatens you about this at any time, deflect it. Do not engage. You can’t reason with an unstable person and it’s not your job to persuade her or make her feel good about your choice. Your going abroad may be the best thing that has ever happened to your relationship. She will learn to function on her own, and you will learn that you can do this study abroad thing and come back stronger for it! I think it you were to poll all the parents here on CC, you’d have the blessing of the entire community to go!
Now you GO.
You deeply considered, found alternatives, waited on this, tested your interests…now you GO.
This will work out. Go.
Obviously you can take care of yourself. And hundreds of thousands visit France annually with no incident. Agree with the idea to end further discussion. When it’s set, you can keep her informed- one piece at a time. Your mother “wants” you by her side but you cannot be that at all times, forever. We’re not being harsh, we want you to have some (good) wings.
Where will you be?
You’ve dreamed, you’ve worked, you’ve saved, you’ve prepared your mother, you’ve talked and talked with your proessors, you’ve done everything right. Now, it’s time to actually…GO 
It may be hard at first - just like when you got to Québec - and then you’ll really enjoy yourself. It’s indeed something you really want, that is necessary for you major, and it’s your last chance. You’ve planned for it, gotten the money and the scholarships, prepared with your professors - time to go
You don’t need to update your mother if she throws a fit each time. When you’re admitted, let her know, then buy plane tickets, and tell her when you’re leaving. However, in the meanwhile, arrange for your grandmother and a pastor/priest/imam/rabbi to come and stop by frequently.
Finally, when she locks herself in her room, say calmly “I’ll give you some time to calm down. I’ll be back in a few hours”, then walk out. When you return, speak as the person who did her a favor.
BTW, ask anyone who’s in France right now: it’s perfectly safe. The “January 11” marches and “spirit” are more visible than any terrorist.
Where would you be going?
Here’s an interesting blog about life in France for an American with Middle Eastern roots:
https://arunwithaview.■■■■■■■■■■■■■/
My cousin was just telling me about his daughter’s experience abroad this year- she is thriving. I hope you can go.
I sense that the separation anxiety is not your mother’s alone and that you are feeling it too. Deal with your own honestly, and know that your mother may benefit from this, even if it is not apparent at first. This is good training: you won’t be with her forever.
When I broke my back the MD told me that if I wore the brace too much, my back would never get stronger. People can be like that too. Not wearing the brace was painful but my back did in fact get stronger. Don’t mean to be cute with the metaphor but hope it works for you 
Good luck!
I happen to think that a successful and pleasant time abroad will highly depend on your ability to ONLY deal with problems in your host country. If you arrive with a bunch of unresolved issues in your luggage, chances are that you will be miserable during your entire stay. Over the past months, you have shared a number of family and health issues, as well as a story of difficulties in a short stay in Montreal.
Are you sure that traveling to France will be such a great idea? It might be difficult and challenging for students who embark on the adventure with the full support of their parents – financial and emotional. The months you will spend in France will probably be grey and cloudy … are you prepared to overcome the loneliness and different atmosphere?
If you cannot answer with 100 percent certainty to the above questions, I think you should really reevaluate the common sense behind this decision. I am afraid that you are racing into an bottomless pit of drama.
“If you cannot answer with 100 percent certainty to the above questions, I think you should really reevaluate the common sense behind this decision.”
Life is too short to wait for 100% certainly on any decision. You make the best call you can with the information available and give it your best shot. It’s not fatal if it doesn’t work out as you’d hoped. You simply chalk it up to experience and move on. If we all waited for 100% certainly, no one would ever leave home.
Thanks so much for all the advice and support, everyone. I really appreciate it!
I definitely will look into having some friends and family help my mother when I’m gone. I’ve talked to a few already and they’ve assured me that they’ll help take care of her, which is nice to know. I just hope it’ll be enough for her.
I’ll deal with my mom’s outbursts as they arise (I like all the suggestions on how to handle it. They help because I usually either cave in and apologize or just stare at her with apathy until I leave the room).
I’ll be going to the city of Orléans and studying at their university through an exchange program with my university. I also have 2 friends who are there now and I’ve befriended the Orléans students who are studying here this year, so I feel like I have an advantage on becoming acquainted with the area and the procedures of the program.
And @xiggi, I really appreciate your honesty. I ask myself those same questions every single day and look back through my post history myself and wonder what the heck I’m doing since I have all this drama going on and since I’ve always had such a hard time adjusting to anything new and difficult. But, as N’s Mom pointed out, you can never be truly 100% certain on something. And as I’ve been telling my mother when she yells about how I’m not ready, I don’t think I’ll EVER be ready or EVER be perfectly okay with my anxieties and my baggage.
But time is running out, and I’ll never know unless I try. I can be miserable for 4 months and think I’ve made the worst decision of my life, or I can take the time to grow and develop away from my mother and all the drama and be able to look back on it when I’m old. I think either one would honestly be a good learning experience, and I think just following through with something and making a decision for myself is also beneficial in this case.
Of course I understand how hard it will be and how sad I will inevitably become throughout the process, but I’m still willing to try it even if it makes me feel uncomfortable at times. Learning and education should sometimes make you feel uncomfortable, and I think I can take a lot out of it in the end (I think I just sold myself and answered my own question…).
Most of us think you are ready. But when someone pushes your button all the time, after a while, you do get a twinge each time. Don’t let the twinge confuse you. It may be Pavlovian. She critiques and you question yourself.
If you can’t change her issues, then work on your response- not necessarily what you say, but the voice in your head. Remind yourself that you considered this, got the right dept support, are headed for a legit program. And that if something comes up you will deal with it.
You’ve managed a lot of responsibilities already. You can get through this. You aren’t going alone or to some remote village. There will be support systems- and other US kids there. And you’ll still have many of us to keep encouraging you.
You should go. You’ve obviously given a lot of yourself already to your mom and you should be commended for that and I’m sure she will appreciate that when she is feeling better. If your mom was in a good place emotionally, she would want you to go. I would suggest that you find some names of psychiatrists and try to get her to see someone. Grieving can turn into biological depression and it sounds like she might need some medical intervention at this point. If she is reluctant to seek help, maybe try to get grandma or some close friends on board to help encourage her to see someone. You can not be her lifeline forever.