<p>I am currently studying abroad in Paris, France---this has been my dream for a long time. However, upon getting here about 3 days ago, I have been very very down. The city nor the school or people matched my expectations. It it gray, dark and unfriendly. My living conditions are also subpar. </p>
<p>Yes, I do suffer from mild anxiety/depression and I have been seeing a counselor all of last semester. I have a roommate who is very nice but I have cried myself to sleep most nights, and I dont even care about my classes---I have been like this before and the results of that semester were not good. </p>
<p>On top of that--what makes my anxiety even greater--is that the grades from this study abroad will count. The French use a very different teaching style than across the pond and I really dont want to jeopardize my gpa--i am already behind on credits and there is no guarantee all of these classes will transfer. </p>
<p>This is also my FIRST time abroad--i worry about my finances--rent be/c of the exchange rate and transfer fees has turned out to be more expensive than I thought.</p>
<p>I am just a mess---when I went for a walk yesterday through the neighborhood, I felt good but as soon as I try to go to sleep at night, all the emotions begin to poor out. </p>
<p>Should I leave? Should I stay and resume life at my university back home? someone help me. classes at my university dont begin until the 27th of January.</p>
<p>I kind of just want this to be a mini 3 week exploration of Paris and then I just want to go back to my home university or become a visiting student at my local university in my town (already put in a registration request today before the deadline next week).
I cannot fathom staying here for 5 months.</p>
<p>Part of the reason you might not be able to sleep is because of the time difference. You’ve only been there three days and might not be on Paris time yet.</p>
<p>You must be joking. Do the things that you know will improve your mood: exercise, eat properly, visit an art museum, reread a favorite book, listen to music, whatever.</p>
<p>Of course it is grey and dark: it is January. Unfriendly? I don’t know what you were expecting, but people in major cities anywhere in the world rarely open up to strangers upon first meeting them. Presumably there are other students in your program. Reach out to them. They are likely to be interested in exploring the city, and likely to be on a budget as well.</p>
<p>You are an international studies major, and you want to run home after 3 days in another country? Look, you know you have issues with anxiety and depression. Have you found any strategies to cope with them that help at all? I have struggled with this myself, so I am not minimizing the challenge this poses. </p>
<p>Are you on medication? Do you have access to medical care in France? Does the program you are with have any kind of a clinic?</p>
<p>Does your family insurance cover mental health services abroad?
You may just need someone to talk to.
What did you expect to do the 2 weeks before school began?</p>
<p>I will go to counseling center at the school here…hopefully they can help.
I will try to take a walk outside today. I am still on USA time-- slept from 8am to 5pm Paris time.
The sun just doesn’t rise here until like 9am—so odd.</p>
<p>im such a homebody and i really value deep relationships. i just feel so alone here</p>
<p>It sounds like you are just combining jetlag with culture shock. It will pass. My suggestion would be to try and get on a normal schedule as soon as you can. Get up early (you might have to force it to combat jetlag), so some shopping, and cook for yourself. Even though the weather is bad, you might enjoy walking around central Paris.</p>
<p>Of course the sun rises there later. Western European cities are at a far higher latitude then those in the USA.</p>
<p>Where are you living - are you outside the peripherique?</p>
<p>You’re tired, homesick and disoriented. Don’t make any big decisions right now. Be open to everything. It’s not going to be like home. That’s why you’re there.</p>
<p>I understand your feelings. Homesickness will come and go. If you let it overwhelm you and control your decisions, you will probably regret it in the future. It’s a powerful emotion but it will pass if you keep busy and keep in mind the reasons why you decided to study abroad in the first place. 3 days is no time at all, and it will get better. You will get used to your situation and your body clock will resolve itself.</p>
<p>5 months from now when you come home, there will be many things you will miss about Paris, believe it or not.</p>
<p>Try to give it more time if you can possibly bear it…three days is just not enough time to acclimate or recover from jet lag. I’m glad you’re going to speak to someone…and you will not be the first, I’m sure! Try to focus on all the reasons you do want to be there. My D is also abroad this semester and thought about not going several times…but I reminded her that it has been her dream for a long time and that regrets about not going will last much longer than the four months you are actually there…
Hopefully once you catch up on sleep and get more involved in school work and friendships, I think you find that the time will fly by! Is it possible that someone from home can come visit sometime during the semester? It would give you something to look forward to and the cost may be no more than what it will cost you to make a change…at least sleep on it and give it some more time…good luck!</p>
<p>NJSue…we posted simultaneously and think alike!</p>
<p>It sounds like you’re sleeping during the daylight hours so, as others mentioned, try to get up early tomorrow to force yourself to be awake during daylight hours so it won’t seem so dark and depressing there.</p>
<p>My daughter visited Paris during the summer for a few weeks and stayed with her friend’s family. They made the girls stay awake the day they arrived in Paris so they would quickly adjust to the time difference. Get up early tomorrow and plan a full day of activities (not sure if your classes have started yet) and don’t go to sleep until at least 7 p.m. and maybe that will help you adjust to the time difference.</p>
<p>Better yet, get to know a fellow student (who is also most likely a bit homesick) and include that student in your plans tomorrow.</p>
<p>My daughter loved Paris and I know you will too once you get your days and nights switched around and start venturing out into Paris. Good luck. Traveling abroad is a great adventure and I hope you’re able to make the most of it.</p>
<p>One more piece of information . . . you might think people in Paris aren’t friendly but the family my daughter stayed with said there are many beggars/scammers in Paris so the Parisians don’t make eye contact with anyone on the street. My daughter perfected her “Paris face” because she needed to adopt it to keep the scammers away. </p>
<p>Here are a few scams to watch out for. They’ll stop you somewhere and say they saw you drop a piece of jewelry (usually a ring) and it will look like gold and if you say it is yours, they’ll then ask for a reward for finding it and some people must pay the reward because they keep doing the scam. Just ignore them when they call out to you and keep walking.</p>
<p>Another one that happened to my daughter and her friend was petitioners near the Eiffel Tower asked the girls to sign their petition (but they didn’t let them see what they were signing) and then they said since they signed the petition they needed to donate to the cause. When my daughter’s friend opened her purse to pull out some money the petitioner demanded more than the girl was willing to pay because the petitioner looked in her purse and saw she had more money. Don’t ever sign anything without reading what you’re signing (they purposely covered the wording at the top of the petition). I drilled that into my daughter’s head when she told me about this scam. Just ignore any petitioners you encounter.</p>
<p>Also near the Eiffel Tower, the girls saw some paintings on the sidewalk that looked original to them. They were fairly expensive and just on the canvas and not framed. They felt pressured to buy one and then during the rest of their travels they saw the same paintings for sale in stores in Paris and they were super cheap. So . . . my daughter had to pay to get the painting put on a frame at a frame shop when she got home and now has a cheap painting that she paid about $150 for! She does have a funny/sad story to go along with it though.</p>
<p>Another thing she encountered was at a church. There were people lined up near the handrails on the steps to the church and they would grab the tourists’ hands and try to put homemade rings and bracelets on them. The girls just yanked their hands back. If they put a ring or bracelet on, then they demand to be paid for the item.</p>
<p>The last thing they encountered was a beggar on a train who handed them a laminated card (in French so they couldn’t read it very well). It told his story and asked for money. When they said they wouldn’t give him anything he took the card back. </p>
<p>Once the girls learned that it was okay to say no, and they stopped making eye contact, they were fine (and you will be too) but I just wanted to let you know that Parisians appear to be arrogant and unkind because they don’t want to be scammed.</p>
<p>Stick it out. It is one semester, not a full year. My D1 did a study abroad that did not turn out to be everything she hoped (including substandard living conditions – had to sublet an off-campus studio in a sketchy neighborhood where no other students lived, not being able to get the classes her college had promised - - including language study in the native language there at the level she needed, and various other issues). She made the best of her semester. She learned her way around the city really well and did improve her language skills.</p>
<p>If you are worried about the grades, can you drop a class so your load is lighter? Of course you don’t want to jeopardize your graduation timeframe, but if you can you should consider that. Or take an easier class or two if you can change…</p>
<p>My D really looked forward to visits with friends. One friend was elsewhere in her country, and they got together for a couple of weekends. That was a real pick up for her. Also, her boyfriend from the states flew over for a week at one point (his parents gave him the plane ticket as a Christmas gift, she was there for fall semester and he asked them for that). Also a big help. You are lucky, you have a roommate (and it sounds like your housing is with other students).</p>
<p>She also decided to learn to cook better, and explored her city looking for the ingredients she needed to make what she wanted to try.</p>
<p>I would say get your sleep clock straightened out, possibly lighten your course load, and try to get to know more of the other students in your living arrangement/program. I think you will be really proud of yourself and will end up enjoying your semester by the end if you do this.</p>
<p>Addition:
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<p>I just saw this comment. You should be able to communicate with your home university NOW and determine that. Sometimes there is a little give and take on this issue because you don’t know what classes you can get, but once your schedule is known you should be able to communicate with your registrar’s office about this. They may want you to talk to the individual departments at your college, but you can email with them and ask.</p>
<p>The first thing you need to do is get off US time, the longer you take to acclimate the worse it gets. I always just force myself to live on the local time as soon as I step off the plane. No wonder you think Paris is dark and dreary!</p>
<p>It takes time to get used to a place. I’m not talking jet lag. Things are done differently but embrace the change. Gradually you’ll develop a rhythm for your Paris life. I won’t say you’ll love it, but give it three weeks. </p>
<p>One thing that might help is making a little list of at least one or two things to do every day until classes start. That will give you something to do. It can be as simple as finding the closest market or it can be bigger (visit Versailles). You have time to sightsee the tourist attractions. Have you gotten a Metro pass? Get one and hop on a train to somewhere. </p>
<p>Meet up with other “foreign” students at your school - this is a great opportunity to meet kids from all over the place, not just the US. Look, even if you decide to go back in a week or two, make the most of the time you’re in Paris.</p>
<p>Oy. You should have done your best to stay up until a reasonable bed time the very first day. No wonder you think it’s dark! The first thing to do is get up by 8 am and stay awake until at least 9pm. Go outdoors during the daylight hours.</p>
<p>My daughter, a HS sophomore, will be studying abroad next semester (she leaves in a couple of weeks). The organization she is going with, ciee, has gone to GREAT lengths to tell her to EXPECT to be miserable for a couple of weeks. She had a one-on-one session with a staff member who quizzed her about her reasons for going and what goals she wants to reach. The woman said, “You need to remember this when you get to Spain, because otherwise you’ll want to leave right away!” She also said that it gets much better before long, and after three or four weeks, my daughter will understand a lot of what is said. After three to four months, she should be dreaming in Spanish and not having to translate from English to Spanish (or vice versa) in her head.</p>
<p>ciee actually encourages the students NOT to stick with other foreign students, because they’ve found the kids stick together as a pack and don’t interact with the local students very much. They also STRONGLY advise students to Skype/talk to their family no more than one time per week. </p>
<p>So I hope you will stick it out! I think it will be worth it. Remember why you wanted to go in the first place!</p>
<p>Probably true once classes begin but until then, it won’t hurt much to meet other people, including the other foreign students. I don’t think it’s all or nothing. I’m not saying to “stick” with other students but to meet them. All things in moderation.</p>
<p>My son’s study abroad also told us (and him) to expect that the excitement of being in a new city would quickly wear off and there likely would be a period of feeling down - out of his comfort zone, lonely/missing home/missing friends, etc. He definitely went through that shortly after arriving in Barcelona (I remember saying to my husband after an early Skype with him, “The bloom is off the rose.”) But by the end he loved his stay and it was one of the best things he did in college - even though he went abroad alone and it took him a long time to connect with other people and make friends. Stick it out. Worst case, you’re home in 4 months. Best case, you adjust and have a good experience - but that’s not possible if you run home now.</p>
<p>I agree that you need to try to get onto Paris time and get outdoors. Being tired and awake all night doesn’t make anyone feel good, no matter where they are!</p>