<p>Terribly late but if anyone can offer some suggestions that'd be great.
Prompt:
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement?</p>
<p>Maybe my fascination with the sciences started out with the need to feel smart. Not the most noble pursuit of knowledge, but I tuned into the discovery channel and the history channel every opportunity I got… and there were quite a few opportunities for that in my youth. Needless to say I fell madly, hopelessly in love with science. It became an involuntary desire to regurgitate my learnings wherever I went. I was a big unbearable show off. Still probably am; you can ask any of the poor devils that keep in my company and they’ll be sure to agree. If I had to put it into words, and I do, my drive cones from that moment of eureka, of understanding, which is never as ecstatic as when it comes after truly brutal and unrelenting struggle. The experience of understanding what was not understood before, of truly knowing the fundamental truths of our universe, well that’s all there is; if you’re not awed even a little by the thought then I don’t think we’d get along all too well. Maybe I wasn’t always interested in science and in knowing, maybe things could have turned out differently, maybe in other instances I may have clung to a different discipline. Regardless of what might have been before, this interest, this pursuit of mine has become me. I am who I am because of my love of physics and math and the sciences and there’s no way of describing the path I’ve embarked without these passions of mine.
As for experiences, well I got a taste of the experiences everyone sort of stumbles on. I asked questions like “why doesn’t the moon fall if gravity is acting on it?”, or “what are stars made of and how do I reach them?”, and one by one these curiosities lead me along the right path. Curiosity has been my teacher and I have been its humble pupil, well humble loosely speaking. There was once a morning, a dreadfully early morning in my zeroth period art class where my ears caught wind of a particularly tragic tale. A friend of mine was facing examination in a few periods and was desperately in need of help. Plato had it best when he talked of the responsibility that comes with knowledge, so I made it my duty to guide him and guide him I did. In what time we had we crammed as much information as could fit and at the hour’s end he emerged more or less better off. It was in distilling this knowledge that I finally saw the scope of my endeavors in light of human experience. Perhaps helping a friend pass his physics test isn’t the broadest of applications, but I realized then that this was the path for me. Once again we return to Plato who firmly believed in the truth and its inherent goodness. I realize that what I do in pursuit of education cannot be solely for my own personal benefit or even the benefit of the field, though that is extremely important, it must also come at the benefit of man and exemplify the goodness of the human species. This is the context within which I must always pursue knowledge. And to conclude that tragic tale, my friend ended up getting a B on that exam. </p>
Don’t start sentences with “it”. Say what you want to say. “I developed the (unstoppable? addictive? obnoxious?) desire to regurgitate my newfound knowledge…” </p>