Who are these college kids who offer to do other people’s laundry? That’s a new one on me.
I’m lazy about laundry so my kids have been doing theirs for years. :). They also both went to a lengthy summer program in middle school where they had to do dorm laundry. So they’ve got that down. I guess my son does have a general sense that some things require special laundry treatment because he texted me with questions about a fleece blanket.
Friendship–pass it on
My daughter knows how to do laundry, has basic food prep/cooking skills, and I plan to teach her how to budget before I set her loose.
@Marian - Driving in the snow is one thing my D still doesn’t know and it concerns me. She’s had her license and a car since she was 16 and is an excellent driver. We live in an area where it hardly ever snows and now she’s at college in the mountains. The whole driving in snow thing just didn’t occur to me. Maybe she can enlist someone at school with snow driving experience to teach her. Funny how you think you’ve got all the bases covered, but there’s always something that gets overlooked.
Last week I had my daughter and her best friend read a letter to the editor written by a local young woman who was sexually assaulted. She woke up naked in bed with a guy. She had passed out after they had been playing a drinking game. He admitted that she was passed out when he carried her into his room. There was a lot more to it, but it was really hard to read about this happening to a young woman we know and like. We talked about how it is very easy to be taken advantage of when you drink too much and that you should never play drinking games. The only reason people play them is to get drunk quickly. No good will ever come from that.
I am going to show him how to program his cell phone to dial home every now and then 
How to plan the weekly menu BEFORE grocery shopping and how to cook for 1 or 2. 
@MichiganGeorgia, can you teach me those skills, too! I am terrible at planning my weekly menu, and haven’t had to cook for 1 or 2 since our 23 year old starting eating table food, like, um 22 years ago!
I think D is well prepared in all the basics: laundry, cleaning the bathroom, budgeting her money using her debit card, getting herself to doctor appointments and picking up scripts, etc. She was brought up to be self-sufficient. I do worry that she doesn’t know how to share. She has been like an “only child” since her brother is 8 years older and went into the military when she was 9 and even before that he was busy with his own high school activities etc and not around much. Her other siblings are 15 and 17 years older, she is truly the “baby”. She has never had to share a room or any other space, doesn’t have to wait her turn for the w/d or the bathroom. She can let her clothes pile up 3’ on the floor and bed and no one cares (she leaves herself about a one foot width of bed to sleep on lol). She hopes her fun-loving personality makes up for her inability (or inexperience) to compromise LOL.
@NEPatsGirl, our 3 all had to share a bathroom, so no adjustment there. But I have a word of warning for your fun-loving girl! I have a fun-loving college son, and the problem for him has been that he is so laid-back that nothing bothers him. He’s just good natured that way. He’s happy and fun and sometimes doesn’t get it that other people aren’t like that. Sometimes that fun-loving personality can really annoy more serious people or less laid-back people! And when it does, my son thinks “Why would that bother anyone?” Well, it just does!
Oh I get that, it irritates me on a regular basis lol.
Some good stuff here.
D knows the basics. She can drive well in snow, do laundry, clean, grocery shop, cook (sort of). She’s had jobs for years and her own bank account (with her own money in it) for years also. She’s lived in dorms before (summer programs) so already knows how meal plan cards and dorm laundry machines and room keys and swiping in work and all that. She knows how to use public transportation in several cities and I think that knowledge will easily translate to any others (she can do NYC and SF blindfolded so she’s probably going to quickly get up to speed in Philly or Boston or Atlanta). She’s from a small town but has spent enough time in big cities to have a decent level of street smarts and her big-city parents have filled in a lot of that for her too. She’s already navigated drinking situations and I think she has done so successfully.
What she is NOT good at yet is asking for help. Academic help in particular. She is a strong student and still sees that as a weakness. We’ve talked about it a lot but she’s still scared to do it. I don’t know how to teach her something she knows intellectually she will probably need to do, but is simply afraid to do. I have told her about going to office hours for her profs and I think she is nervous about that too.
2 four letter words … CALL HOME
@OHMomof2 I have been working with my DD on asking for help…she could do better in AP Bio so I suggested she talk to the teacher about what else she could do to do better…Initially I got the “she won’t have anything to tell me” brush off but I insisted and lo and behold the teacher had useful suggestions!
Having read many posts in the “College Life” section about how kids are failing I want to have her used to talking to teachers/Professors if she is having trouble.
“How to plan the weekly menu BEFORE grocery shopping and how to cook for 1 or 2”
I have to say, I don’t get this at all. I want my kids living in dorms and eating meal plans at cafeterias so they can socialize with their friends, not having to live in apartments and waste their time preparing food that they eat by themselves or only with a roommate. I do not get the appeal of apartment living for a college student in the least - just more work, for what end? They’ll have their whole lives to cook and clean.
And office hours aren’t just about help. You can go in with a quick, interesting question. Unlike most hs teachers, they haven’t been seeing you in the halls or cafeteria for a few years. Whatever your contact, even if you’re stumped, try to seem smart and alert.
A lot of those kids, bopper, also complain, “I sent an email and never got a response.” In college, if a prof isn’t in the office during hours or you can’t go then, you need to also get used to making a phone call, maybe using vm (learning to leave a succinct message,) or leaving a note in the dept office.
@pizzagirl, some students live off campus to save money. My D is doing this and it is saving us quite a bit of money. Not everyone can afford to live in the dorms for four years you know.
Yes, she goes grocery shopping, cooks for herself, brings her lunch to campus, cleans her place, but she doesn’t see this as a burden at all.
Following up on that voice mail point. If you expect a call-back, you need to state your number at the beginning of the call, slowly and clearly. If the person you want to speak to has to play the message ALL THE WAY THROUGH to repeat the number several times, there’s a good chance that person will simply give up.
“Hi, this is Bunny Lake. I’m at 212 [pause] 555 [pause] 12 [short pause] 12.”
I don’t know why, but I really didn’t want to live in a dorm. I did for one semester and it wasn’t bad, but I still couldn’t wait to NOT live in a dorm. Now I wish I had lived in one longer. Easier.
Next year one of my kids will live in a sorority house (much cheaper than the dorms) and the other will live in a dorm but her meal plan will be $1000/sem cheaper. I think they lower it that much for sophomores (they offer other plans to sophomores) because there would be a riot if they required them to live on campus (they do) and still pay the outrageous fees. Freshmen don’t know that they won’t eat 21 meals a week in the dining hall, but sophomores have figured it out.
Don’t have sex with your professor even if he is a Harvard professor!