Don’t be cheap. Share food (pizza, etc.) Learn how to pickup the tab for food, drinks, etc
Hmm… I would NOT teach my kid to pick up the tab regularly for others UNLESS it was the norm in their group and they took turns at it. Maybe due to many years married to a man who thought the way to other’s hearts was by picking up the tab all the time, even when we couldn’t afford it. I do agree that sharing stuff like care packages is good – I send packages partly for them, and partly to help them bond with their friends. 
I hope they don’t personally eat every one of the 20 cupcakes I send on their birthday, too!
The key word is cheap. Don’t be known as the person who never picks up the tab.
@ohiopublic in my experience, college students don’t pick up tabs really ever anymore. When I went out to eat, etc with friends, we all just paid for our own portions of the bill
Reading how many kids don’t know how to cook makes me really, really grateful for BoyScouts! Once per month, camping out with the troop, and boys having to cook their own meals. Thank you B.S.A.! My boys can cook!
My college roommate couldn’t cook at all, so I did all the cooking. She made up for it with phenomenal cleaning skills. I would much rather cook than clean! But speaking of cleaning, a friend told me about these disposable toilet brushes already loaded with cleaner, so I bought them for each of my college age boys and told them to clean their toilets! Then, at the end of the year, we loaded those unused disposable toilet cleaning brushes back in the SUV, only to be returned the following year. I guess they will become family heirlooms, passed unused from generation to generation.
Hopefully, they would still pick up tabs on a date (maybe not always, but for the first few ones.) Otherwise, it is really unromantic.
@intparent, actually I should clarify: we definitely want our kids to graduate in 4 years. We have been very clear on this with them. Happy to say that D1 is on track with a BS+Masters which normally takes 5 years but she is finishing in 4. It’s been her decision to overload and get the permissions from advisors etc. Husband and I have supported her in what her educational goals are. What I’m saying is that there are times when they have to choose electives, or if they want to add a minor or to overload a semester. I will not make the decision for her but I will be sounding board and offer advice all within the constraints of finishing on time. D2 will be a freshman in college in the fall and this is simply what I was imparting to her as well.
@barfly, I agree totally! Kids need to be aware of the implications of dropping/adding and how it affects their degree plan, especially with the ease of online scheduling, pre-reqs, etc. In my Ds case, there is not a lot of margin for error, so to speak. She describes it a very tight fitting puzzle and is über aware it. Plus she has great advising. I admit, I have been impressed with how on top of it she is. College is so much more than classroom learning–navigating life, and taking charge of her education. As a parent, I enjoy seeing the growth process.
- How to address an envelope (and before someone says something about how that is all passe, there are times when you need to know this - an actual paper envelope! and stamps! it was like I was explaining greek civilization to my dd)
- How to not overdraft account repeatedly even if "there's overdraft protection! there's no fee!" (ds is champion of this lesson-still-not-learned, at some pt the overdraft protection clause will not apply and he will get dinged a few times a month)
- How to fill out a i-9, w-4, tax basics.
- How to write a ck because online banking doesn't apply to all things - landlords for one
Make sure your child knows how to balance a checkbook before they go to college. This is probably the first time they will be making such major financial decisions on their own, and they could run themselves into ruin if they don’t manage their money right.
Very simple - they should know when and how to ask for help.
Too many so-called adults are afraid to ask for help, and don’t know how if the time comes for them to ask for it.
Personal safety…practical stuff that really works. Example: Student is at a bus station and being stalked. March right up to a group of people, preferably a family or small group of friends. Ask them quickly to be a safe zone until the bus/train arrives. Make small talk like you’ve known them forever.
Along with knowing requirements of major, know what school and professors expect. Read the student manual. You may want to know that professors can’t give tests the last week of school and aren’t allowed to switch your exam time (at D2 school). Professors have leeway in how to grade and what they expect - read the syllabus, find out if they follow the attendance policy, find out if it’s ok to do homework in group or get help on paper (and if you have to disclose - honor code at D1 school). Some of this will vary from teacher to teacher so be sure you know what to expect from each one.
Practical hint from teacher friend - if in large class and you email teacher, attach photo to help teacher place you. Introduce yourself to teachers.
At MIT they have charm school for the brilliant but perhaps somewhat awkward student.
Maybe I was lax in not teaching a dinner fork from the dessert fork - but you have to
prioritize somewhere. Poise - if you met Bill Gates at age 19 “poise” was probably not
the first thing that jumped into your head. But he did ok.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/50/Bill_Gates_mugshot.png
http://studentlife.mit.edu/sao/charm/schedule
https://stuff.mit.edu/afs/athena/activity/c/charm/classes.html
For fans of the Four Agreements book I tell my son:
1- Be Impeccable with your word
2- Don’t take anything personally
3- Don’t make assumptions
4- Always do your best
I asked this question to a couple of recent grads, and they said the same thing, independently (one male one female): Always make your own drink at a party. Never let anyone hand you a drink that you didn’t pour.
@annwank, sometimes figuring out how to fulfill all the general graduation requirements and major requirements is difficult and confusing.
Ideally, students would get detailed guidance on how to plan their schedules appropriately from their colleges. But we don’t live in an ideal world. And if the student messes up, it’s the family that has to pay for extra classes or extra semesters.
Many students welcome a parent looking at those requirements and seeing how their course selections match up. Two heads are better than one. And I don’t see anything wrong with that.
How to safeguard their electronics physically and virtually. Not all kids are tech savvy.
Oh no just realized I never taught him how to sew on a button or fix a seam!!!
Relax, there’s a pretty common fix to that these days.
It’s hard to believe that no one has come up with an app yet that a parent could drop $29 on and feel secure knowing that their kid had access to videos and information like this.
“How to sew on a button”
“How to change a tire”
“What to do when the car is getting low on gas”
“What is this thing called a vacuum”?