Leaving Public School?

Prep School Admissions
1

<p>I'm a freshman in public school in NY. For a multitude of reasons, I'm considering transferring out. The school is good 'by the numbers'(mid-800s on Newsweek list, 99% get a diploma, etc.), but I haven't really found it to be that great. The student body is apathetic (and in many cases under the influence). I'm not asking to be coddled, and I understand that this is a bigger world. But, honestly, it truly feels like no one cares. They have a short afterschool period where teachers are required to stay after to help kids; it's like the administration has to force the teachers to provide extra help. The quality of teaching (I'm in all accelerated courses) varies. My science teacher is great but the global teacher just has us copy notes day after day. Apparently the math department has changed hands recently, but it's atrocious. The accelerated math kids are thrown into a geometry class with sophomores and in some cases juniors, where we are forced to follow along with basic problems in encruciating detail or risk getting randomly called on. It's spoonfeeding: "okay, guys, does anyone know how many degrees are in a circle?" The sophomores pull out their calculators becasue they don't know basic multiplication facts. After completing day 1 notes we do the day 1 hw ditto, etc. I recently switched to trig - which freshman never do - becasue I just couldn't stand geometry. The teacher is eccentric to say the least. In the words of the accelerated math sophomores in my class, she's "hopelessly incompetient." No one pays attention at all. There 10th, 11th, 12th graders in the class. </p>

<p>Usually the top 5 or so kids go to top schools; the rest to SUNY or other colleges. None of the clubs are particularly distinguished; there's a little over 400 kids/class, average SATS are 510.</p>

<p>So, I'm grappling with whether or not to stay in this school. There's only 1 private day school in the area. I know there'd be more opportunities there but also, obviously, competition. BS is intriguing but my parents are really against it. </p>

<p>Stats:
Age 13, female, skipped a grade</p>

<p>ECs:
• participated in JHU CTY for 4 years and scored very well
• took the SATs at 11, 720 verbal, 570 math
• new SATs 720 verbal, 690 writing, 620 math
• CTY’s Study for Exceptional Talent for getting 700+ before age 13
• Chorus since 3rd grade; select chorus, private lessons
• School theater productions; I love acting, pretty good in character roles
• High honor roll, 98 average, all accelerated courses in HS, etc.
• middle school science fair; 1st place - the fair wasn't really competitive
• The only teen lector at my church
• several poems and essays place/win in local contests - writing is my 'thing'
• math league, only freshman
• student council liason (bring student concerns to admins)
• Spanish club
• vocal jazz groups
• girl scouts since 3rd grade, trained cit last summer, going to get more involved/hopefully get my gold award
• just started piano, just for fun
• summer programs at Clarkson
• going to be trained as a student mediator
• participated in Optimist speech contests; I’m pretty good at public speaking
• I love to knit, spin yarn, and read; I'm going to get more into volunteering or major ECs after my major fall committment</p>

<p>So, it's down to being a "big fish in a little pond" at the public school or looking elsewhere. Any advice would be really appreciated.</p>

<p>TIA</p>

<p>PS. apparently, because I skipped over the geometry class at my school, this will leave a gaping hole in my transcript? as long as I know the material/do well on the regents, will colleges care? The school is pushing me to take geo at a CC but that'd be a pain and none around here offer it...</p>

2

<p>Unless your parents support your move to boarding school, it really isn't an option. That leaves the local independent school as your other possibility. If your parents support that, why don't you visit the school? You will get a better feel about whether or not it will be a good place for you. Some independent day schools have applicant deadlines in December, so don't delay in doing this.<br>
I suspect that you should take the Geometry class. I think CTY has a geometry course online. Is that a possibility for you? Perhaps others can comment on this because I really don't know how colleges will view this gap.</p>

3

<p>I don't know. Personally, I love the idea of a residential, motivated learning communtity- I've really flourished at residential summer programs. But they are pretty much opposed to it. </p>

<p>We're visiting the independent school next weekend. Their application process starts in April, but I'm taking a scholarship exam in January. But I'm not sure. It's not an <em>amazing</em> private school, but they do send a lot of people to Cornell, which I visited and really liked. My parents are kind of "make the most of the public school," but they understand where I'm coming from. I'm really not happy in the environment - I don't do sports or have musical talent, so I want to focus on academics. But it's so hard to speak up in trig and be the brownnoser freshman while everyone's texting or sleeping. </p>

<p>I have looked into CTY geometry, but it's pretty $$$; plus, I know most of the material, and the state refuses to accept the CTY credit.</p>

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<p>You mention all the right reasons for looking for a residential learning community where you will flourish. What are the reasons your parents are dead set against boarding school? But if you're in NYC why not Stuyvessant or Bronx Science? If you want to keep the mind alive why not take a look at Canada/USA mathcamp? Nevertheless I would encourage you and your parents to look at a first tier boarding school for you and to throw in an application. You have nothing to lose and a world to win. The process of applying will force you to think through what you really want. </p>

<p>It is a pity that at most high schools instruction has declined to glorified babysitting, and education to a kind of chinese water torture for the living dead. From my perspective as a parent there is nothing for a student in his/her most formative to 'make the most of' in these intellectual Potemkim villages, in these abattoirs of the mind. You owe it to yourself to explore what is out there and to convince your parents to at least let you try to get an education.</p>

5

<p>Doesn't Study for Exceptional Talent include a message board for other SET members? You might want to post your dilemma there because it must a common problem for SET students. </p>

<p>Is it possible for you and your parents to visit a boarding school just so you can all see what it is like? Some boarding schools are holding open houses now, and this would be a good way to take a look without having to do the interview. (Generally, when you visit for a tour, they want to interview you as well.) It would be best not to take the interview until your parents support this as a viable option for you. You can find open houses listed on <a href="http://www.schools.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.schools.com&lt;/a> and <a href="http://www.boardingschoolreview.com%5B/url%5D"&gt;www.boardingschoolreview.com&lt;/a>. Don't delay with this because most open houses are held in October. </p>

<p>The local independent school may be a great option for you. I hope your visit goes well. Cornell is a wonderful university. </p>

<p>Regents are unique to NY state. If you apply to an out-of-state college, they may or may not know what the regents are. Again, I don't really know how your Geometry issue will be perceived, but it would be best to figure it out now before it becomes a potential issue later.</p>

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<p>Thnaks so much for these responses - I really appreciate the held, because I kind of have no idea what I'm doing.</p>

<p>I subscribed to the SET listserv, so I'll ask there too. In the meantime:</p>

<p>Is there any (calm, mature way) I can present the BS idea to my parents? They think this is kind of a passing infuation stemming from a teenage desire to leave home. But I really think the academic and social environment would be a good match for me - work hard, play hard. I would love to be immersed in a world with other curious, driven students. My middle school gifted teacher - an exeter parent - has been not-so-subtly hinting that I should apply there, but unless I save the world between now and the application deadline, I don't think I have the stats to get in. </p>

<p>I'm still going to visit the day school tomorrow, so I'll see how that goes. I'm not sure about FA, though - my parents won't/can't pay the tuition. I'm guessing this would be a factor in BS applications even more - my parents see a private school as an investement, and although we probably could pay for the day school, they're reluctant. </p>

<p>And, about the regents thing, I don't really know where to look. The school is kind of clueless, and the Academic Dean doesn't even know if it'll be an issue. It was like pulling teeth to even get into trig. They told me to call prospective colleges, which I guess I'll do this weekend...</p>

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<p>You have the stats to get in, do you have the will to mount a serious application? The only sure way not to get in is not to apply.</p>

<p>As to persuading your parents to let you apply; what is their basic concern? Philosophical objection to private schools? cost? having you away from home? Until you clarify that there is no way any one can can explain the merit of the boarding school idea to them. There is a range of parents on CC who would be willing to share their experience but you have to give us some idea of where your parents are coming from.</p>

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<p>Sorry if I missed it, but what's the local private school called?</p>

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<p>yes, yes, and yes. my parents don't like the BS idea for "all of the above" reasons. I think they hear the words BS and think either the obvious bad word and "upper-class snobbery." They see parents who send their kids away as cruel, heartless, and pushy. </p>

<p>Cost would probably kind of be an issue... I'm not really familiar with the financial aid stuff but I think the biggest issues would be that they just wouldn't be willing to spend the money, plus they're retiring fairly soon.</p>

<p>Plus, I'm an only child. They get really 'in' to my school activities. For instance, we just got back from a marching band event - my mom has really gotten into the whole band thing - and she said, "see, I would miss this." Every time we bring up the issue, she points out reasons why it's the wrong choice - even at the day school, 'd be unhappy, I'd never talk to my old friends, they're snobby, you can get just as good of an education at the public school, etc. They're just so unwilling to let me leave home. They point out my younger age and stuff, but I really think that they would have the most trouble with me leaving.</p>

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<p>Since you are a teen lector at your church, maybe the story of the twelve year old Jesus remaining behind to ask questions in the temple (Luke 2:41-51) might be good way to broach the boarding school idea to your parents. The point of the story is that a child of 12 or 13 can have, often does have a need to be where the hunger for learning can be met. This is a spiritual as well as an intellectual need and in this repect the child knows better than the parents what he or she needs.</p>

<p>In our own case, our much loved youngest daughter was very much like you, not an only child but the only one we had left, the child of our old age if you will. And she wanted to go to St. Paul's because there the ground felt warmer under her feet, all the things she desired to do in common with her peers were there: choir, cello, latin, chapel... It was 2000 miles away, and we let her go because that's where she needed to be. Cruel, heartless, pushy? Hardly. For her St. Paul's was heaven. She loved it from the minute she set foot in the place, phoned every day to tell us how wonderful it was. Snobby? We had two children at the place over 10 years, both with FA. Never encountered anything but graciousness. There was more snobbishness in our local high school where the other children went than at St. Paul's.</p>

<p>Again, one cannot generalize from one's own experience but one can witness to it. I hope your parents, as an act of love and faith in you, will let you explore St. Paul's.</p>

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<p>I hope you do <em>really</em> well on that scholarship exam. </p>

<p>I'm not sure where you are in NY, but there are lots of boarding schools not far from NYC over the line in Connecticut. Some of them are close enough to MetroNorth train line that it's easy enough to get back and forth to the city on weekends. That might help your parents deal with the distance factor.</p>

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<p>There are even some boarding schools in New York. Emma Willard's in New York (if you're a girl) and there's Millbrook, too. Millbrook doesn't really compare to the other boarding schools people talk about on CC but it's probably still better than your public school. You can even do a 5 day boarding program, if that's all your parents will let you do. Hackley has a 5 day boarding program, and it's a very good school (I don't know anything firsthand about it but it can't be bad- they play sports with Horace Mann and Pingry and co.) so you can look into that.</p>

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<p>Thanks, everyone, for your responses. I'm still trying to sort out how I feel about this whole thing, and these posts have really helped.</p>

<p>FYI: I don't live in/near NYC, but I'm not in the middle of nowhere either. Without getting too specific, I live in suburbia.</p>

<p>But I don't really think that I'm going to be switching schools. It's, of course, complicated; I'm not sure how I feel. But I had some really awesome middle school teachers l that have helped me so much; the relationships I had with them are what I'm missing at the high school. I feel as though I'd be betraying them, and the principal, who I know well, if I left. Plus, there are a few teachers at the HS who really seem to "care" when the others don't; going to their classes are the best part of my day. I'm not sure if I'm jumping to conclusions about the high school... I think I need to give it a while. There's an AP World teacher in particular with a great reputation, so I'm hoping things will improve as I progress into higher-level courses.</p>

<p>And I visited the day school yesterday. I liked it, but, of course, they were giving us the old admissions spiel. I knew a few of the teachers from summer programs there, and they said I'd be a good addition to the school; we also met with the upper school principal, who seemed very nice. But my mom has said that she's against me going to that school (mainly for financial and geographical reasons - it's on the other side of town, and although busing is available, she thinks I'll be too isolated). She says that I can apply and take the scholarship exam (I did some Google snooping, and I think it's the ISEE - any tips?) But I kind of know that if she's against it, it just won't work out.</p>

<p>Like I said, maybe I'm just being too hasty - I know there's an adjustment period. For now, I'll just make the most of what my school and community has to offer.</p>

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<p>I took the ISEE. It's mad easy. (I took the upper level one)</p>

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<p>Yeah, the practice tests are ridiculously easy. However, I shall continue in the proud tradition of over-preparing :-D and order the practice book thingie.</p>

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<p>Good luck on your test! My suggestion to you is to keep your options open now. In an earlier post you said that you did not have to apply to the independent school until April. This gives you and your parents time to consider the possible change.</p>

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<p>Yeah, we do have a while. Any tips on what to think about when deciding? Obviously, it's a personal decision, but what should I take into consideration?</p>

<p>It's too late for BS applications, right? Just as a thought - I love the idea but I really don't think my parents will go for it...but maybe apply just for the heck of it?</p>

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<p>Not too late. Many BS apps need to be in by 1/15/07, some later. You would want to schedule interviews soon as well as registering to take the SSAT.</p>

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<p>Maybe I missed something or maybe I had a premature senior's moment but in her initial post firefly mentioned that her middle school gifted teacher was hinting that she ought to apply to Exeter. Yet in a latter post firefly has convinced herself that by going to private or boarding school 'she would let her middle school teachers down". Jeez, talking about going up the hill and then down again.</p>

<p>For the record, Exeter is one the finest academic schools in the world. The chances that a garden variety suburban high school can offer anything comparable is zero. It is not impossible to get an education at a conventional high school. However if you knew how to get it you probably wouldn't need it. Anyway, from my perspective Firefly has just talked herself out of even trying out for what might have been the greatest formative experience of her life. Talking about trading birthright for a mess of pottage. The real question is, do you want an education? Can you get it at home?</p>

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<p>Yeah, maybe that wasn't clear. I have an extremely good reputation in the school district. If I stayed, I could build on this reputation and be a "standout" student there, as well as in the community. Whenever I think of leaving, the part that bugs me most is that I'll leave this "name" I've created for myself behind. Plus, I do feel as though my teachers - who have encouraged and motivated me - would be somewhat disappointed if I left. I feel a strong loyalty to them and the district because of the opportunities I've had there. The gifted teacher, while doing the same, has implied that I would be better challenged and - obviously - have more opportunities elsewhere.</p>

<p>Plus, to add to the conundrum, a lot appeals to me about the day school. They have block scheduling; the longer class period would definitely be a plus. There's also the advantage of more flexibility, an "interaction" period in the middle of the day, and focusing on only a few classes a day. The have very strong literary publications, which is a huge deal. </p>

<p>I know that there is a natural transition period when moving from one school to another, so I'm not sure if I'm being too hasty (as I said). However, my mom said something that I think sums up my problem with the school. She had to go pick up stuff for a fundraiser, and when she got home, immediately said, "They were so rude and inconsiderate... the kids should have let me go first." She was realizing what I realized on the first day of school - they're not angels. While most kids, in general, are "good," and I understand that not everyone is a brownnoser, there is a fair amount of misbehavior, not to mention apathy and ignorance.</p>

<p>Of course I want an education, but - to play devil's advocate - would it be better to be a "big fish in a little pond?" Hmmm... I just don't know. But if anything, this is really forcing me to think about what I want from the next four years - which is good.</p>