As someone who will be starting college in a few months, this is something that has been troubling me for a long time… the roommate selection process. This wouldnt be an issue if all of the colleges I applied to let you choose your own roommate, but several I’ve been accepted to do it randomly.
I’m gay and am concerned about being randomly selected with a roommate who I will make uncomfortable.
I’m not flamboyant, feminine and nothing about me stands out, stereotypically, as gay. Nor would I ever hit on my roommate. However, I understand that despite being your average guy in all other aspects, my sexuality could draw some red flags when rooming with someone.
All I want is to make things easy and comfortable for whoever I get selected as my roommate. I dont want to make them feel awkward by being forced to dorm with me.
Any tips? If anyone who’s homophobic or would feel uncomfortable with a gay roommate is lurking, how would you want this to be handled?
In 2019, it’s unlikely (but not impossible) to be an issue depending on the college and the roommate selection process. How much you want to reveal to your roommate, and when, is a personal decision. I would not worry about things in advance.
Since you are not going to hit on him, if (and this is a big if) he feels uncomfortable, that’s his issue, not yours. You can cross that bridge if you come to it.
i agree with @skieurope. i identify as bisexual, and my sexuality potentially being a problem with my roommate was something i worried about. i personally waited to tell him in person on move-in day, and i said, “i just want you to know that i identify as non-straight. i’m not sure if that makes you uncomfortable, but i wanted you to know.” and his response, literally, was “is it supposed to make me uncomfortable in the first place?” and we laughed it off and left it at that. it’s never been a problem.
although it’s unlikely you’ll encounter an obstacle, i do remember reading a post on here about a guy at northeastern who was gay and had a problem with his homophobic roommate. he contacted reslife before classes began and asked to switch roommates, and they responded with the fact that if he (his roommate) was not ready to live and cross paths with people who are different than him, he’s not ready for life at northeastern. i’m pretty sure they made him move instead of the boy who requested the change. you’ll have people on your side if it becomes an issue. don’t worry about it.