This is a segue off of some conversations I’ve seen recently. I’ll add few that I’ve heard and even said.
From friends and family…your child is such an excellent student they’ll get a full ride/into any school they want…
I’ve heard myself say…college is the best 4 years of your life…until I actually reflect on it. Sorry kids
Don’t worry about money, you’ll find a way to cover it.
Poor kids have it easy because they get so much financial aid
If I apply to enough great schools I’m sure to get into one
…
Well for me, in a lot of ways college WAS the best 4 years of my life, at least as a single person. Much better than high school, and a lot more carefree than post-highschool.
Also at the time I was a relatively “poor kid” – my dad worked on a teacher’s salary, six kids, my parents’ contribution was pretty much zilch, they only had to pay my transportation to and from school, and I got absolutely terrific financial aid at a highly ranked school. (I only somewhat realized how fortunate I was at the time.) Looking back on it, I’m sort of amazed at how it worked out.
And then they are not. So many kids think it will all be different at college. Shy studious kids will make tons of friends and party. Party kids will start to get serious and studious. Expectations galore!
it would be cool if you could press a button and every essay and every gpa/ test score etc…was sent for free to every 4 year accredited college and you see how many you get accepted to or rejected from.
you would get into a few by surprise and rejected by some that would surprise you too.
I hear this often when talking to parents of up and coming college students. I think it is a knee jerk reaction to visiting colleges and our propensity for romanticizing past events and forgetting the challenges. I did say that once and then upon reflection backtracked. For a moment I was remembering never having to cook a meal, clean up afterwards, and there were people my own age in abundance. Later I remembered how tired I got of eating the same food, tired of sharing a room and rarely having privacy. In the end we talked about the transition that takes place at college, that there will be some great things that happen and that each part of life as its own challenges and rewards.
You could say the same thing about any stage of life, really. Parenting is the most rewarding time. Which it is in many ways. But diaper changes! Sleepless nights! Teen angst! More sleeplness nights! Waiting for college acceptances…
Actually I think I peaked at age 7. That was absolutely my BEST best year, bar none.
It’s all been fabulously downhill since then… : ^ )
D18 falls into that category. Of course, in 8th grade she thought HS was going to be the Promised Land. I do think that people will be somewhat different in college, so maybe it’ll work out ok.
Actually as a shy kid I did make tons of friends and party. It was a great 4 years. Still have the friends too!
Also studied my butt off which nobody talks too much about…much easier to go to work and get a check.
I think the biggest lie of the high school senior year regarding college is the concept of “full ride”. I think the definition of “full ride” widely varies from one parent to another. I define “full ride” pretty strickly, full ride to me means 0 out of pocket costs, meaning the college or scholarship is paying tuition, room and board, and books for four years. Others might have a more lenient description, such as tuition only or maybe for just one year.
I remember rumors abounded around my high school about all of the full ride scholarships out there and some parents opted not to save for their children’s education because they assumed most “good” students got full ride scholarships.
I think the “your kid is smart, they’ll get a scholarship” is the biggest one.
The other exaggeration or fallacy I hear a lot these days and I’m trying to wrap my head around is that kids can’t hold down a job during college… um, why not? I worked 30 hrs a week all the way through college, I can’t imagine why a kid can’t hold down a part time job and help fund some of their incidental expenses.
The “full ride” one is interesting. For us, I don’t want anyone to know my financial business. My DS get some good “money” from one of his admits. But, some is merit based and some is aid based. Since I don’t need anyone to know otherwise, some will go one believing my DS got a “Big Scholarship”. That’s how I’ll leave it.
So, full ride could mean loans, merit based, FA, maybe only full tuition… etc.
I’ve seen these here on CC and have heard elsewhere-that being a minority automatically gives you a leg up in admissions decisions, that colleges “throw money” at minority students, and that minorities who get into selective schools got there because of hidden quotas, not because they actually are smart enough to be there. All of them are revolting.
I used to think lots of people get full rides and full merit scholarships, until I found out that most of those doesn’t like to call it a loan or financial aid. Calling it merit money, makes kids sound intelligent and families affluent.
@sseamom Underprivileged and underrepresented minorities do have more opportunities and aid available to them when it comes to college admission process, compared to high achievers from affluent Asians or Caucasian families can ever dream of. However, people do have lots of misconceptions about these issues. Field is flat as those affluent Asian/Caucasian kids get privileges in life that underprivileged don’t get.
However, affluent parents are the ones who get short end of the stick as they end up spending most of their earnings on their children. Sometimes they do get envious of people whose kids get tons of financial aid.
For really wealthy folks, these hurdles don’t exist.
I lost my mom to cancer when I was in college and it hit me very hard. One of my dear friend’s mom gave me a small poster, with a cartoon of a college student that said “These are the best years of your life!”.
It was meant to be loving, and encouraging, but at the time? oh how I hated that poster. It made me feel even more depressed! Of course that wasn’t her intention!
I really, really loved college - it was a fantastic time in my life- and I would jump back there is a hot second (If only to relive the tiny waist…)
My D is a junior in college, and I have worried many times about whether she is “enjoying” herself enough. She goes to a challenging school, and has a competitive major - she works WAY harder than I did in school. But TBH - I think she may be getting more OUT of college than I did - of course, that remains to be seen…